Buick
7.3.2k
I am going to cancel my cable TV subscription, and that's official. I've had it up to here paying for a service that I'm not satisfied with. Last night? NOTHING ON. There was a boring Giants game. There are 50-odd other channels and there was nuthin.' Zip. I turned the sucker off and cleaned the cat box. But check out what's on tonight on channel SKYLARK: The Thursday Night Social Club! Starring ... (cut and paste long list of list members here). This is "reality television" at its finest, folks. To enjoy, tune into channel:
Skylark
3089 16th St, San Francisco, CA 94103
(415) 621-9294
(Emmy goes to Belinda Johnstone, Director of Programming, Channel SKYLARK.)
New to the list this week is Tony Pezzella. Hi Tony. Now then, several hundred of you list members have written in to complain about the cancellation of THIS WEEK'S ARTS & CRAFTS. Comments ranged from pleas and begging to nostalgic waxing to hostility and threats of hostage-taking if A'n C is not restored. List Member Chris Weldon wrote: "I have great memories of making mashed potato sculpture with Jimi Simmons. We modeled his truck. We used ketchup to make the taters red. I'm sorry to see my old friend, THIS WEEK'S ARTS AND CRAFTS, go away." Another note, from longtime List Member Jim Rose (Not to be confused with ROSEY), was decidedly venomous: "The self-appointed "Founding Members' can %$@# my %$#&!! Who gives a %$# about some %$#^%$# feud? Carl and Todd want to fight - let 'em!! (Ed. note, see "DEW" (6.2.2K) and "Rosey" (7.1.2K).) Bring back A'n C you bunch of %$#%$!! We never got around to tie-dying!! What the %$#%# am I supposed to do with all this RITT???" For the record, this Founding Member would love to have A'n C back. I was outvoted 3 to 1. The good news is that TNSC is unveiling a brand new weekly event! In the TNSC tradition, it will be full of fun, excitement and gut-shaking thrills for all. Here it is, hope you like it: TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: Yow! Think about the tons of things that can be dramatically reenacted. We're going to kick off this exciting new event with a doozy.
TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: THE FIRST DOG IN SPACE. Moss will be playing Laika, who, on 3 November 1957, rode Sputnik II (played by Woody) into orbit of the Earth (Jerry Castro), becoming the first animal in space. Anna will be portraying the pressurized cabin and Kenny Solomon is in the role of Vladimir Sjevjenko Parasjovsinski, the tough-as-nails-yet-loveable Ground Control chief / dog trainer. This ought to salve those A'n C wounds.
TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Spitting contest. (Thank Lee Lee The Musical Bee for this charmer.)
TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: John Volny. Why not try for a John Volny record two-in-a-row, John?
The races scheduled for this weekend are cancelled. The monkeys were all dead in the shipping crate. I'm thinking FULL REFUND.
Team Bjeldanes is Two and Oh. Oh yeah. The game one opponent no-show and the stifling "D" of the nightcap gives us a big 2-0. Can you say First Place? Tune yer sets into Channel Skylark tonight at 7/7:30. Bring your pals. Who else misses Kurdrajevskaya? bye-ee!
Thursday, July 20, 2000
Thursday, July 13, 2000
Morgane Lhote is a babe!!
7.2.2k
The gunfighter of the Old West had to live his life ever-ready to kill or be killed. Those that knew them said they developed "cat eyes" - any sudden movement, any twitch, any motion - the gunman would be slapping leather and lead would be flying - usually with deadly results. The members of the Thursday Night Social Club live their Thursday nights ever-ready to buy a drink for their fellow list member. Those that know them say they develop "hawk eyes" - while on their way to the bar for a refill, they could spot a fellow list member with a near-emptied drink clear across the bar. That fellow list member would hear the refrain: "What was that, fellow list member; I'll be buying you another right now!" The TNSC member would be slapping bills on the bar and drinks would be pouring - usually with fun results!
From J. Lechuga's introduction to I Was Born In Tennessee: The Myth and Reality of the Thursday Night Social Club, Stuart Pidd, author; University of Bisbee Press, 1999.
Ah, academia. Do you miss it? I sure do. We had a prof that would sometimes hold class at the bar around the corner. That was certainly a highlight. Class this week is to be held here:
Make Out Room
3225 22nd St San Francisco, CA 94110-3006
Phone: (415) 647-2888
Some business: I misspelled Lori K's name last week as Lisa K. I'm a poor typist. I also said that I added Amy's sister to the list but didn't. "This time for sure." Amy herownself is back on the list. Anybody wanna bet if she drives in from Mountain View or Sunnyvale or San Diego or wherever she's at? John Metsker has the current odds. Founding Member Susan "dynamite" Smith is back on the list. Don't ask me why she's been left off - it's a long story involving international intrigue that the State Department forbids me from getting into. Rosey asked if he could bring his 12-year old nephew to the meeting. I'm not one to say no, but could somebody check the state of CA's Legal Drinking Age for Rosey? He may find his own answer there. On that notion, Rosey found his own way to the meeting last week. No map. Yay! This Founding Member thinks Old Man Rosey is starting to come around. (See Metsker for them odds, too.)
TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Jarts. Watch yerself. They were recalled for a reason, remember?
TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBERS: Belinda Johnstone. She should be a model for the rest of us. Miss Johnstone suggested a venue - true to the spirit of TNSC - for next week. Not this week cause she's off to Ohio for god knows what. Hurry back, Belinda, we'll see you 7.3.2K! Also singled-out: Jason Porter. Did not come to the meeting last week. Birthday tomorrow. Gift ideas: matches, pencil sharpeners, vampire novels. Perhaps he'll show tonight and cash in.
No homework this week cause you've all been really good. Don't forget permission slips for the brewery tour. Bring someone to make out with at the Make Out Room. (Who is Morgane Lhote?) bye-ee!
7.2.2k
The gunfighter of the Old West had to live his life ever-ready to kill or be killed. Those that knew them said they developed "cat eyes" - any sudden movement, any twitch, any motion - the gunman would be slapping leather and lead would be flying - usually with deadly results. The members of the Thursday Night Social Club live their Thursday nights ever-ready to buy a drink for their fellow list member. Those that know them say they develop "hawk eyes" - while on their way to the bar for a refill, they could spot a fellow list member with a near-emptied drink clear across the bar. That fellow list member would hear the refrain: "What was that, fellow list member; I'll be buying you another right now!" The TNSC member would be slapping bills on the bar and drinks would be pouring - usually with fun results!
From J. Lechuga's introduction to I Was Born In Tennessee: The Myth and Reality of the Thursday Night Social Club, Stuart Pidd, author; University of Bisbee Press, 1999.
Ah, academia. Do you miss it? I sure do. We had a prof that would sometimes hold class at the bar around the corner. That was certainly a highlight. Class this week is to be held here:
Make Out Room
3225 22nd St San Francisco, CA 94110-3006
Phone: (415) 647-2888
Some business: I misspelled Lori K's name last week as Lisa K. I'm a poor typist. I also said that I added Amy's sister to the list but didn't. "This time for sure." Amy herownself is back on the list. Anybody wanna bet if she drives in from Mountain View or Sunnyvale or San Diego or wherever she's at? John Metsker has the current odds. Founding Member Susan "dynamite" Smith is back on the list. Don't ask me why she's been left off - it's a long story involving international intrigue that the State Department forbids me from getting into. Rosey asked if he could bring his 12-year old nephew to the meeting. I'm not one to say no, but could somebody check the state of CA's Legal Drinking Age for Rosey? He may find his own answer there. On that notion, Rosey found his own way to the meeting last week. No map. Yay! This Founding Member thinks Old Man Rosey is starting to come around. (See Metsker for them odds, too.)
TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Jarts. Watch yerself. They were recalled for a reason, remember?
TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBERS: Belinda Johnstone. She should be a model for the rest of us. Miss Johnstone suggested a venue - true to the spirit of TNSC - for next week. Not this week cause she's off to Ohio for god knows what. Hurry back, Belinda, we'll see you 7.3.2K! Also singled-out: Jason Porter. Did not come to the meeting last week. Birthday tomorrow. Gift ideas: matches, pencil sharpeners, vampire novels. Perhaps he'll show tonight and cash in.
No homework this week cause you've all been really good. Don't forget permission slips for the brewery tour. Bring someone to make out with at the Make Out Room. (Who is Morgane Lhote?) bye-ee!
Thursday, July 06, 2000
Rosey
7.1.2k
If you had a screw-top head, you could unscrew, carefully lift out your brain and leave it at home Thursday nights so it wouldn't go gettin' in the way. Here are some instances of the damn thing gettin' in the way:
1. You say something stupid. Example: "Can I get a map to the bar, please, I do not know where it is." It's your brain that knows all the words and how to put them together to form a stupid sentence.
2. You do something stupid. Example: You knock over a full pint of your fellow list member's sweet, sweet beer. There again is your brain mucking things up. It tells your arms to flail wildly behind your back without looking over your shoulder to see if anything like a full pint of your fellow list member's sweet, sweet beer is back there.
Do yourself a favor and leave that darn thing at home tonight. Leave it when you're off to:
Il Pirata
2007 16th St. SF
(415) 626-2626
(Thursday night is hotdog night at the Il Pirata. boo-ya.)
Are you used to not getting maps yet? Good. Don't hold your breath for one. Most folks can get around a small city just fine, thank you very much. Most others know several excellent web sites that generate M A P S and D R I V I N G D I R E C T I O N S for free. Others are unclear on this concept. I shall not name names, but "you know who you are." New to the list is Amy "Quitter" Whitehead's sister, Sarah. Lisa K. is new too. Oh yeah, and the softball team: Erik, Heather, Patrick, Patrick (a different one), Dave, Woody, Haneefah, and Emily. No one came off the list this week. If you or someone you know want off the list (or need the TNSC weekly sent to an alternate address) lemme know.
Tonight's Contest: NEW CONTEST: "Guess the Random Number." (Thanks for the suggestion Bobo.) Also: "Name the Softball Team," and "Design the Softball Team's Uniform."
Tonight's Arts and Crafts: It's difficult to report this, but "Tonight's Arts and Crafts" is being discontinued. It seems that a nasty little feud going on between Carl and Todd ever since that scrape they had in the hopscotch contest (see "DEW" (6.2.2K)). The feud spilled over into Arts and Crafts, and last week's WICKER! Arts and Crafts theme got out of hand. Todd set fire to a really great wicker chaise lounge that Carl made and Carl retaliated by letting a bunch of cats scratch on the legs of Todd's almost-finished wicker couch. The Founding Members determined that discontinuing A&C would remove the venue for "feud escalation." The Founding Member's report will be posted in a few weeks, as soon as it is decrypted and edited for content. Todd and Carl have been talked to.
Tonight's Singled-Out List Member: Rob Bonstin. What the heck is up with Rob? Have ya seen Old Man Mossy's pics from 6.4.2K? Pretty good stuff. Thanks Mossy. They're here: http://www.kingofusa.com/tnsc/
Thanks to all of you who sent in fruitcake recipes. They have all been destroyed. Our chapter destroyed another 57 fruitcake recipes this quarter. We gained some ground and are ranked 413th nationally, up from 558. Yea!
See you tonight. Bring your old lady or old man. Leave the brain. bye-ee
7.1.2k
If you had a screw-top head, you could unscrew, carefully lift out your brain and leave it at home Thursday nights so it wouldn't go gettin' in the way. Here are some instances of the damn thing gettin' in the way:
1. You say something stupid. Example: "Can I get a map to the bar, please, I do not know where it is." It's your brain that knows all the words and how to put them together to form a stupid sentence.
2. You do something stupid. Example: You knock over a full pint of your fellow list member's sweet, sweet beer. There again is your brain mucking things up. It tells your arms to flail wildly behind your back without looking over your shoulder to see if anything like a full pint of your fellow list member's sweet, sweet beer is back there.
Do yourself a favor and leave that darn thing at home tonight. Leave it when you're off to:
Il Pirata
2007 16th St. SF
(415) 626-2626
(Thursday night is hotdog night at the Il Pirata. boo-ya.)
Are you used to not getting maps yet? Good. Don't hold your breath for one. Most folks can get around a small city just fine, thank you very much. Most others know several excellent web sites that generate M A P S and D R I V I N G D I R E C T I O N S for free. Others are unclear on this concept. I shall not name names, but "you know who you are." New to the list is Amy "Quitter" Whitehead's sister, Sarah. Lisa K. is new too. Oh yeah, and the softball team: Erik, Heather, Patrick, Patrick (a different one), Dave, Woody, Haneefah, and Emily. No one came off the list this week. If you or someone you know want off the list (or need the TNSC weekly sent to an alternate address) lemme know.
Tonight's Contest: NEW CONTEST: "Guess the Random Number." (Thanks for the suggestion Bobo.) Also: "Name the Softball Team," and "Design the Softball Team's Uniform."
Tonight's Arts and Crafts: It's difficult to report this, but "Tonight's Arts and Crafts" is being discontinued. It seems that a nasty little feud going on between Carl and Todd ever since that scrape they had in the hopscotch contest (see "DEW" (6.2.2K)). The feud spilled over into Arts and Crafts, and last week's WICKER! Arts and Crafts theme got out of hand. Todd set fire to a really great wicker chaise lounge that Carl made and Carl retaliated by letting a bunch of cats scratch on the legs of Todd's almost-finished wicker couch. The Founding Members determined that discontinuing A&C would remove the venue for "feud escalation." The Founding Member's report will be posted in a few weeks, as soon as it is decrypted and edited for content. Todd and Carl have been talked to.
Tonight's Singled-Out List Member: Rob Bonstin. What the heck is up with Rob? Have ya seen Old Man Mossy's pics from 6.4.2K? Pretty good stuff. Thanks Mossy. They're here: http://www.kingofusa.com/tnsc/
Thanks to all of you who sent in fruitcake recipes. They have all been destroyed. Our chapter destroyed another 57 fruitcake recipes this quarter. We gained some ground and are ranked 413th nationally, up from 558. Yea!
See you tonight. Bring your old lady or old man. Leave the brain. bye-ee
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