Shut my mouth!
9.4.2k
Now believe it or not, and I've been known to lie, but this here's a true story.
Back in the Age of Sail, the days of the tall ships - the Man o'War, the galleon, the schooner - sailors relied on cats to do some of their dirtiest work. Hoards of rats and mice would tightrope-walk the mooring lines along the docks, eager to feast on the stores of grain and other food in the holds of the ships. Cats were very effective exterminators. They would rid the ship of vermin. In port or on the high seas, they followed the predatory role nature designed for them. Following the reverence the Ancient Egyptians had for cats, sailors treated their cats very well and held them in high regard. Seafaring cats played a lesser-known role, too: they would hear the confessions of the condemned man. Many of the ships had neither the room or supplies for a priest, cleric, monk or other such holy man who could not or would not pull his own weight. A religious lot, sailors doomed to walk the plank, hang from the yard-arm or be keel-hauled were desperate for an ear to hear their reconciliation. As it was bad luck for a layman to do such, the next obvious choice were the ship's cats. They could appear to be attentive listeners and trusted to never reveal what they've heard. It was not uncommon for the prisoner, in his last hours, to share the brig with as many as 50 cats.
For this week's meeting I'll be drowning my blues with the black cats at
Lucky 13
There ain't nobody new to the list. No one got booted, as per the new nobody-gets-booted dealio. A lot of complaints about the web-based TNSC meeting announcement. Overheard: "Poor user interface," "unintuitive," "confusing." Okey then. You can have your precious underlined links. More comments being accepted here.
Tonight's Contest: Piping-hot-coffee chug-a-lug. ow.
Tonight's Dramatic Reenactment: The "Death" of Ben "Obi-Wan" Kenobi.
In an attempt to allow a small band of rebels - including a princess, a pirate, a couple of gay robots and a bumpkin - to escape the ominous space station known as the "Death Star," an aged warrior selflessly sacrifices his corporeal body to his nemesis, the sinister "Darth Vader." It turns out, though, that the villain's "light saber" renders "Obi-Wan" more powerful than the evil one knows. Our players: Serena Warner plays "Obi-Wan," Uriah plays "Darth Vader," Lee Lee the Musical Bee plays the pirate, Teensy plays the princess, Rob Bonstin plays one of the gay robots, Jimi Simmons plays the other, April plays the bumpkin and Mrs. Alan Chimenti plays the role of the "Death Star." Clint plays some dude named George.
Tonight's Singled-Out List Member: Me. I single myself out because I've been bad. I have the headache to prove it. Spell check just caught me spelling "prove" with two o's. Yeouch.
Those snakes last week were Agkistrodon contortrix: copperheads! Here is Moss' picture. Sure they were cute little baby snakes, but they're trouble. Rarely fatal, but trouble. They're also an endangered species and federally protected. If you are one of the ones who took one home, take it back. If you've been bitten, click here.
Who couldn't use a little luck? Bring yer friends. Bring yer cats. Bring yer friends' cats. See you there. bye-ee!
(Fill out the questionnaire.)
Thursday, September 28, 2000
Thursday, September 21, 2000
"Chute, I almost made it!"
9.3.2k
I totally forgot that we have several list members representing the TNSC at the Sydney Olympics! Did anyone tape the Parade of Nations? Crap! I was at a bar with list member Mrs. Amanda Rose and at least we got to see it on the Tee Vee. Ya have to wait a long time for "Thursday" to come around in the alphabet. Our folks looked great, though, didn't they? Worth the wait. Congrats to Mary Haring for winning the "Olympic Parade of Nations Flag Bearer Contest" a few weeks back. I just checked the Medal Count board and TNSC is kickin' butt:
Bishop has a gold in Quit-your-job-and-go-to-art-school.
Moss bronzed in Suggest-Noc-Noc-for-the-TNSC-venue.
Anna and Dave won the gold in Get-Engaged.
(nameless) won the gold in Cubicle-construction.
John Metsker has silver in Best-Parking-Space.
Alan hisownself silvered in Cigarette-lighting.
Team Bjeldanes is holding its own in Softball-under-the-influence.
Susan Smith is still in medal contention for Avoid-getting-kicked-in-the-head-at-the-Man ... Or Astroman?-show.
Jerry just advanced to the medal round in Softball-homerun-derby.
Chef leads the pack in Liking-a-shitty-football-team.
Sally Carter won the gold in Needing-a-drink-after-a-helluva-Thursday-morning.
Guess what Rosey won gold in? Ha!
Still to come:
We have Amy Shuba competing in the Nice-car event.
Dee represents us in the Consecutive-hangovers contest (this is an exhibition sport).
Lori K. in the Photograph-drunk-list-members.
Jeremy in Blow-town (a clear favorite).
Sue Erokan in Pose-for-barroom-portraits.
And a whole bunch of people in Ditch-the-TNSC-meeting.
To that end, the meeting this week is here:
Il Pirata
2007 16th St
San Francisco, CA 94103
626-2626
We should enjoy the weather, no? These folks have a patio! And hotdogs!
New to the list: Mark, Edie. Hey folks. Like I said last week, no more mention of taking people who never come to the meetings ever off the list. Ever. Not one more time. I swear. Allison.
Tonight's Contest: Heck. Why not? "Puke on a raccoon" contest.
Tonight's Dramatic Reenactment: Evel Knievel jumps the Snake River Canyon.
8 November 1974. Twin Falls, Idaho. The World's Greatest Daredevil attempts to jump the 1,580-foot distance over the Snake River Canyon in the steam-powered X-1 Skycycle. His parachute deploys early and the stunt is a fiasco. Tonight's Reenactment is being performed by Jason Porter using the dolls (made by Ideal Toy (that's right, the real McCoy) and the puppetry skills he is famous for. Thanks to Belinda and Danielle for construction of the miniature Canyon and "launch site."
Tonight's Singled-Out List Member(s): All Western employees/list members who don't go to Il Pirata since it's so close to work.
The design for the postcard was rejected. "Try a different approach" was the art director's sad refrain.
Who doesn't like hotdogs? NO ONE! That's reason enough to go to the Il Pirata. Be sure to bring a pal. See you there. bye-ee!
9.3.2k
I totally forgot that we have several list members representing the TNSC at the Sydney Olympics! Did anyone tape the Parade of Nations? Crap! I was at a bar with list member Mrs. Amanda Rose and at least we got to see it on the Tee Vee. Ya have to wait a long time for "Thursday" to come around in the alphabet. Our folks looked great, though, didn't they? Worth the wait. Congrats to Mary Haring for winning the "Olympic Parade of Nations Flag Bearer Contest" a few weeks back. I just checked the Medal Count board and TNSC is kickin' butt:
Bishop has a gold in Quit-your-job-and-go-to-art-school.
Moss bronzed in Suggest-Noc-Noc-for-the-TNSC-venue.
Anna and Dave won the gold in Get-Engaged.
(nameless) won the gold in Cubicle-construction.
John Metsker has silver in Best-Parking-Space.
Alan hisownself silvered in Cigarette-lighting.
Team Bjeldanes is holding its own in Softball-under-the-influence.
Susan Smith is still in medal contention for Avoid-getting-kicked-in-the-head-at-the-Man ... Or Astroman?-show.
Jerry just advanced to the medal round in Softball-homerun-derby.
Chef leads the pack in Liking-a-shitty-football-team.
Sally Carter won the gold in Needing-a-drink-after-a-helluva-Thursday-morning.
Guess what Rosey won gold in? Ha!
Still to come:
We have Amy Shuba competing in the Nice-car event.
Dee represents us in the Consecutive-hangovers contest (this is an exhibition sport).
Lori K. in the Photograph-drunk-list-members.
Jeremy in Blow-town (a clear favorite).
Sue Erokan in Pose-for-barroom-portraits.
And a whole bunch of people in Ditch-the-TNSC-meeting.
To that end, the meeting this week is here:
Il Pirata
2007 16th St
San Francisco, CA 94103
626-2626
We should enjoy the weather, no? These folks have a patio! And hotdogs!
New to the list: Mark, Edie. Hey folks. Like I said last week, no more mention of taking people who never come to the meetings ever off the list. Ever. Not one more time. I swear. Allison.
Tonight's Contest: Heck. Why not? "Puke on a raccoon" contest.
Tonight's Dramatic Reenactment: Evel Knievel jumps the Snake River Canyon.
8 November 1974. Twin Falls, Idaho. The World's Greatest Daredevil attempts to jump the 1,580-foot distance over the Snake River Canyon in the steam-powered X-1 Skycycle. His parachute deploys early and the stunt is a fiasco. Tonight's Reenactment is being performed by Jason Porter using the dolls (made by Ideal Toy (that's right, the real McCoy) and the puppetry skills he is famous for. Thanks to Belinda and Danielle for construction of the miniature Canyon and "launch site."
Tonight's Singled-Out List Member(s): All Western employees/list members who don't go to Il Pirata since it's so close to work.
The design for the postcard was rejected. "Try a different approach" was the art director's sad refrain.
Who doesn't like hotdogs? NO ONE! That's reason enough to go to the Il Pirata. Be sure to bring a pal. See you there. bye-ee!
Thursday, September 07, 2000
No spitting. Litter. Smoking.
9.1.2k
Well them new VW Beetles have been with us for some time and I for one haven't heard the raging debate about their integrity even begin to subside. I know plenty of folks - owners of old Beetles - that don't even consider the new ones Beetles. I don't know but one new Beetle owner and he seems to like the thing a lot. I'm sittin' on the fence on this one. Both seem pretty okay to me. You see this kinda thing happen every so often. "Improvements" to an old design. I'll tell you one thing, there weren't no "improvements" on Miller High Life when the Miller Brewing Company coughed up "Miller Genuine Draft." It's kinda like apples and oranges - if ya like apples and can't stand oranges. (MGD bein' the oranges, mind you.) The kick in the pants is that MGD can be found in far more places than the Old Standard High Life. This week's venue is one of those joints where High Life fans gotta settle for MGD. Good thing the juke kicks yer butt. So get yer butt on down to:
Annies Cocktail Lounge
15 Boardman Pl
San Francisco, CA 94103-4727
Phone: (415) 703-0865
Note: You can get a bail bond v. close to this place.
Business/News/Sports: Some nice folks come new to the list this week: Teensy@xxx, I forget Teensy@xxx's real name; and Mary. Pls. introduce yerselves. Returning to the list is Robin Skirboll. Welcome back. No one removed.
Did ya all like Rosey's goodbye speech? Anybody gonna actually call him? Team Bjeldanes practiced under the lights last night in anticipation of the playoff game Sunday. Outlook for victory is good. (See John Metsker for current odds.)
TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Spin Yer Partner Round and Round Contest. That's right ... Dance Contest!
TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: The death of John Dillinger.
In the 1930's banks were often thought of as the "bad guy." Many outright failed, taking with them the life savings of their customers. Those that stayed open foreclosed on people's homes, farms and businesses as the Great Depression took hold of the nation. Many bank robbers would destroy mortgage records when they would hold-up a bank, giving the robber a Robin Hood-like status. Add to the criminal good looks, bravery and roguish charisma, and you had John Dillinger.
Dillinger robbed banks all over the Midwest, avoiding capture for years. When he was captured he would escape. One time he carved a pistol from wood, and the jailer, thinking that Dillinger had the drop on him, surrendered his own weapon. His public support began to wane, though, due to many lawmen and innocents alike being gunned down by Dillinger and his gang, not to mention the reward money offered for his capture and his status as Public Enemy Number One. Enter Polly Hamilton and Anna Sage - the Lady in Red. Polly was Dillinger's girlfriend in Chicago and Anna Sage was the owner of the brothel where Polly lived. Anna was in trouble with the cops - because of the brothel - and faced deportation to Romania. Anna Sage decided to make a deal with the Feds to avoid deportation. She set up Dillinger one night when the three of them - Dillinger, Anna and Polly - were going to the movies at the Biograph theater on Lincoln Avenue in Chicago. She was to single-out herself and her companion by wearing a very noticeable red dress. Accounts differ, but the consensus is that the FBI opened fire on Dillinger immediately upon seeing him. Something not unlike an assassination. Our players: Moss plays Melvin Purvis, G-Man in charge of the Dillinger Squad; Belinda plays J. Edgar Hoover, Director of the FBI; Chef plays John Dillinger; Spaz plays Baby-Face Nelson, of the Dillinger gang; Susan Smith plays Polly; and Kay Rough plays the Lady in Red, who, incidentally, got deported by Hoover anyway.
TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER(S): Moss. He missed a good one at the Elephant last week. Also singled-out: Amanda Rose. If she comes to Annies, one of her next-door neighbors will buy her a lovely Manhattan
We (the TNSC) nearly have enough Betty Crocker points to get the 20-quart crock pot.Is anyone sitting on a secret stash? Remember we're IN it to WIN it!
Load up on B vitamins and get on down to Annies tonight. Bring your wife, husband, brother, girlfriend - whatever (but no ex-es, please). Tell stories and be someone's pal. Yes or no: "spotty" bananas. See you there! bye-ee!Click on the messy lookin' thing below for the Rosey Memorial Map.
9.1.2k
Well them new VW Beetles have been with us for some time and I for one haven't heard the raging debate about their integrity even begin to subside. I know plenty of folks - owners of old Beetles - that don't even consider the new ones Beetles. I don't know but one new Beetle owner and he seems to like the thing a lot. I'm sittin' on the fence on this one. Both seem pretty okay to me. You see this kinda thing happen every so often. "Improvements" to an old design. I'll tell you one thing, there weren't no "improvements" on Miller High Life when the Miller Brewing Company coughed up "Miller Genuine Draft." It's kinda like apples and oranges - if ya like apples and can't stand oranges. (MGD bein' the oranges, mind you.) The kick in the pants is that MGD can be found in far more places than the Old Standard High Life. This week's venue is one of those joints where High Life fans gotta settle for MGD. Good thing the juke kicks yer butt. So get yer butt on down to:
Annies Cocktail Lounge
15 Boardman Pl
San Francisco, CA 94103-4727
Phone: (415) 703-0865
Note: You can get a bail bond v. close to this place.
Business/News/Sports: Some nice folks come new to the list this week: Teensy@xxx, I forget Teensy@xxx's real name; and Mary. Pls. introduce yerselves. Returning to the list is Robin Skirboll. Welcome back. No one removed.
Did ya all like Rosey's goodbye speech? Anybody gonna actually call him? Team Bjeldanes practiced under the lights last night in anticipation of the playoff game Sunday. Outlook for victory is good. (See John Metsker for current odds.)
TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Spin Yer Partner Round and Round Contest. That's right ... Dance Contest!
TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: The death of John Dillinger.
In the 1930's banks were often thought of as the "bad guy." Many outright failed, taking with them the life savings of their customers. Those that stayed open foreclosed on people's homes, farms and businesses as the Great Depression took hold of the nation. Many bank robbers would destroy mortgage records when they would hold-up a bank, giving the robber a Robin Hood-like status. Add to the criminal good looks, bravery and roguish charisma, and you had John Dillinger.
Dillinger robbed banks all over the Midwest, avoiding capture for years. When he was captured he would escape. One time he carved a pistol from wood, and the jailer, thinking that Dillinger had the drop on him, surrendered his own weapon. His public support began to wane, though, due to many lawmen and innocents alike being gunned down by Dillinger and his gang, not to mention the reward money offered for his capture and his status as Public Enemy Number One. Enter Polly Hamilton and Anna Sage - the Lady in Red. Polly was Dillinger's girlfriend in Chicago and Anna Sage was the owner of the brothel where Polly lived. Anna was in trouble with the cops - because of the brothel - and faced deportation to Romania. Anna Sage decided to make a deal with the Feds to avoid deportation. She set up Dillinger one night when the three of them - Dillinger, Anna and Polly - were going to the movies at the Biograph theater on Lincoln Avenue in Chicago. She was to single-out herself and her companion by wearing a very noticeable red dress. Accounts differ, but the consensus is that the FBI opened fire on Dillinger immediately upon seeing him. Something not unlike an assassination. Our players: Moss plays Melvin Purvis, G-Man in charge of the Dillinger Squad; Belinda plays J. Edgar Hoover, Director of the FBI; Chef plays John Dillinger; Spaz plays Baby-Face Nelson, of the Dillinger gang; Susan Smith plays Polly; and Kay Rough plays the Lady in Red, who, incidentally, got deported by Hoover anyway.
TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER(S): Moss. He missed a good one at the Elephant last week. Also singled-out: Amanda Rose. If she comes to Annies, one of her next-door neighbors will buy her a lovely Manhattan
We (the TNSC) nearly have enough Betty Crocker points to get the 20-quart crock pot.Is anyone sitting on a secret stash? Remember we're IN it to WIN it!
Load up on B vitamins and get on down to Annies tonight. Bring your wife, husband, brother, girlfriend - whatever (but no ex-es, please). Tell stories and be someone's pal. Yes or no: "spotty" bananas. See you there! bye-ee!Click on the messy lookin' thing below for the Rosey Memorial Map.
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