Gershon
12.2.2k1
The Fly - the remake. Not the one with the swapped heads. I like the one with the swapped heads, but it ain’t no David Cronenberg version of The Fly. That’s the way to remake a scary movie. John Carpenter did it with The Thing too; he took a great, old scary movie and made it shit-your-pants contemporary-scary. Both of these movies had the “on the surface” horror as well as your “lay awake at night hoping that creepy fly guy ain’t crawlin’ up yer wall” scary. Or the “god dang the cat’s been acting weird lately … I hope he doesn’t split in half and shoot out a tentacle that eats my face off” scary.
I really get into that psychological horror and the remake of The Fly sure deals it out. I seen it recently. Jeff Goldblum was born to play the part of that wacky scientist. That was his best work ever (until he started with the VO of them Apple Computer spots). Gina Whatserface did some terrific acting herownself. That part where she gives birth to the fly baby freaked me way out. I remember the first time I saw that scene and I remember thinking after seeing it: “No way I’m EVER gettin’ knocked up.” Then I remembered that there ain’t no biological way I can get knocked up ‘cause I’m a dude and what the hell was I thinking? Am I on dope? I concluded that Cronenberg is so dang good at scaring people that he can trick dudes into thinking that they can give birth to fly babies. Then the half-Jeff Goldblum/half-fly starts, well, “getting into” being the fly. And why not? He figured he was done for, so why not walk on the ceiling and such? And after all, he had the brain of a scientist, did he not? It was only when that red-haired rat pal of Gina Whatserface forced the fly to stop being wacky-scientist-fly-dude and become rampaging--gross-ass--killer--six-foot--fly-monster and chew the rat pal’s face off. That’s your last bit of horror – that you actually feel pity for oozy-insideout-fly-freaky. Normally one would like to see the 10th Armored Brigade shelling such a monster from the safety of the far riverbank. But here the hero is … a nasty mess. And poor Gina Whatserface. Has to shoot her lover, the fly. Love run amok. Science run amok. Woo-hoo! I’m gonna buy that sucker on DVD!
Tonight: Tosca
News: The Jamie Lee Curtis 14 won the Presidio Softball League Championship last Sunday. List Member/Team Members include: Jerry C., Anna B., (nameless) M., Woody T., Dave H. and Amy G. And Robot. We kicked the ass of a team that needed its ass kicked. And we drank a lot of booze. Congrats to Remote List Members DER and RCD for gettin' hitched. You make a Robot cry.
Tonight's Contest: Find the Reference! Yeh, well, last week’s winner was Founding Member John Metsker once again. The clue was the title of the venue announcement, “Cuckoo.” He guessed that it referred to me for thanking him for giving me a ride home the after previous Thursday’s meeting when in fact someone else had given me a ride home. I was “Cuckoo.” Well he’s right and he wins. He will enjoy a lovely prize. (Longtime List Member Bobo also questioned the Robot’s recollection of who drove his drunk ass home and he will enjoy the prize befitting “Honorable Mention.”)
Tonight's Dramatic Reenactment: Another history lesson: The Susan B. Anthony dollar coin was first minted on this day in 1978. Well we all know what the heck became of this lame idea: Payouts at the track. Change at the Post Office. Being second-guessed by the Frogger machine. Yep. Don’t ask me what I’ve done with all them Susan B’s. Kay Rough plays the Susan B. and we need a volunteer to play the minting machine.
Tonight's Singled-Out List Member: Kathleen Michaud. She’ll know why she’s singled out.
Porn Title of the Week: Keeping with the Xmas spirit, Porn Title of the Week Coordinator and Longtime List Member Tama says this one puts the XXX in Xmas: A Christmas Orgy
Satanic Word of the Week: this
The picture you see above of the martini was taken at Tosca’s by a dear friend, former List Member Guy Hudson. We could reenact the taking of that picture, for god’s sake. Meanwhile, bring your friends, I know I will. See you there! bye-ee!
Thursday, December 13, 2001
Thursday, December 06, 2001
Cuckoo
12.1.2k1
Are you the kind of person that notices when spooky stuff starts to happen to you? I ain’t talking about startling stuff, like a door slamming because of the wind. I ain’t talking about full-on supernatural phenomena like a chocolate cake baking itself either. I’m referring to low-lever spookiness. Give you an example.
Last year some time my bike light started to turn itself on in the middle of the night. I’ve got a cool bike rack that is not unlike a floor-to-ceiling stick with pegs to hang your bike, and I hung my bike on the upper of two pegs. Therefore my bike was head-high, if not shoulder-high. I got up late one night to hit the bathroom and blazing away in the pitch black (about head-high) was the little red blinky taillight on my bike. I thought this curious because I hadn’t ridden my bike that evening and hadn’t noticed the light on earlier that night. I switched the sucker off and went back to bed, the oddity of the mysteriously turned on lamp not quite getting through the fog of sleepiness.
I’ll tell you that the oddity of the mysteriously turned on lamp came home to poppa the next five nights in a row that it happened. A simple midnight bathroom visit turned into an exercise in spookiness. Why was that fucking light flicking itself on? How was it doing it … or … (and this is the truly spooky part) what entity unknown to me was flicking it on to spook me? Ghost? Goblin? Ghoul? Or was it just a mere haunted little red blinky bike light? I’ll never know now, ‘cause on night five I’d had enough and ripped that possessed bike light off my bike, threw open the kitchen winda and pitched that sucker into the black of night. Two things: The spooky bike light looked kinda pretty, sailing across the night shrouded Sutter Street, and, dang did my cats give me a strange look. A “the fucks got into daddy?” look.
Tonight: Annie’s
News: Yes we always go to Annie’s, but why not? It’s kind to folks who need to park, and the juke! Nice turnout at the el Bobo last week. Thank’s to all List Members for coming. The Robot had a lot of domestic light beers and started functioning strangely. Thanks to Founding Member Mr. Metsker for the lift home! New features are soon to grace the pages of the TNSC site. Stay tuned!
TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: Tonight’s Dramatic Reenactment pays tribute to automotive history. Today in automotive history a National standard for license plates was adopted. Previous to 06 December 1955 states designed their own plates, the results being myriad variations. Fifty List Members will play the fifty states’ plates. Some standouts will be Marc Hochman playing Iowa’s pre-’55 plate, which was shaped like an ear of corn; Amy Gatzert playing Texas (a gushing oil well); and Dave Hindley playing Washington State (a Microsoft logo (them ancient-Washingtonians knew a lot about divining the future)).
TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: Mary Haring. There’s a picture of her on my fridge and it reminds me that she’s nice. Wonder what she’s up to?
PORN TITLE OF THE WEEK: Porn Title of the Week Coordinator Tama coughed up a host of Christmas-related porn titles and here’s the first: Tits a Wonderful Life.
The dude on the radio said yesterday, “No rain until Sunday.” What an idiot. I’m pretty sure it rained all day yesterday. And he still has a job. Okay. See ya at the bar later. Bring yer pals. I’ll try. See you there! bye-ee!
12.1.2k1
Are you the kind of person that notices when spooky stuff starts to happen to you? I ain’t talking about startling stuff, like a door slamming because of the wind. I ain’t talking about full-on supernatural phenomena like a chocolate cake baking itself either. I’m referring to low-lever spookiness. Give you an example.
Last year some time my bike light started to turn itself on in the middle of the night. I’ve got a cool bike rack that is not unlike a floor-to-ceiling stick with pegs to hang your bike, and I hung my bike on the upper of two pegs. Therefore my bike was head-high, if not shoulder-high. I got up late one night to hit the bathroom and blazing away in the pitch black (about head-high) was the little red blinky taillight on my bike. I thought this curious because I hadn’t ridden my bike that evening and hadn’t noticed the light on earlier that night. I switched the sucker off and went back to bed, the oddity of the mysteriously turned on lamp not quite getting through the fog of sleepiness.
I’ll tell you that the oddity of the mysteriously turned on lamp came home to poppa the next five nights in a row that it happened. A simple midnight bathroom visit turned into an exercise in spookiness. Why was that fucking light flicking itself on? How was it doing it … or … (and this is the truly spooky part) what entity unknown to me was flicking it on to spook me? Ghost? Goblin? Ghoul? Or was it just a mere haunted little red blinky bike light? I’ll never know now, ‘cause on night five I’d had enough and ripped that possessed bike light off my bike, threw open the kitchen winda and pitched that sucker into the black of night. Two things: The spooky bike light looked kinda pretty, sailing across the night shrouded Sutter Street, and, dang did my cats give me a strange look. A “the fucks got into daddy?” look.
Tonight: Annie’s
News: Yes we always go to Annie’s, but why not? It’s kind to folks who need to park, and the juke! Nice turnout at the el Bobo last week. Thank’s to all List Members for coming. The Robot had a lot of domestic light beers and started functioning strangely. Thanks to Founding Member Mr. Metsker for the lift home! New features are soon to grace the pages of the TNSC site. Stay tuned!
TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: Tonight’s Dramatic Reenactment pays tribute to automotive history. Today in automotive history a National standard for license plates was adopted. Previous to 06 December 1955 states designed their own plates, the results being myriad variations. Fifty List Members will play the fifty states’ plates. Some standouts will be Marc Hochman playing Iowa’s pre-’55 plate, which was shaped like an ear of corn; Amy Gatzert playing Texas (a gushing oil well); and Dave Hindley playing Washington State (a Microsoft logo (them ancient-Washingtonians knew a lot about divining the future)).
TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: Mary Haring. There’s a picture of her on my fridge and it reminds me that she’s nice. Wonder what she’s up to?
PORN TITLE OF THE WEEK: Porn Title of the Week Coordinator Tama coughed up a host of Christmas-related porn titles and here’s the first: Tits a Wonderful Life.
The dude on the radio said yesterday, “No rain until Sunday.” What an idiot. I’m pretty sure it rained all day yesterday. And he still has a job. Okay. See ya at the bar later. Bring yer pals. I’ll try. See you there! bye-ee!
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