Annie's
6.4.2k5
Annie's is a great bar so we should go tonight!
Tonight - Annie's Cocktail Lounge.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
Time off between payin' projects rules! I've been so busy with shit around the apt that I ran outta time and wasn't able to finish tonight's deluxe Venue Announcement ... so's yr gonna have to wait for next week for deluxe-ness.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Thousands standing around.
6.4.2k5
I'm jetting outta town to see Phil for his birthday and when I'm fixin' to leave work I notice the traffic is a goddamn mess. I called and then begged my grrrrl to meet me on this side of town so I didn't have to go through the bad traffic to get her and come back again, as she was gonna drop me at the airport. She agreed, and when she showed up, we got into the Jeep and waded into the jam. What a pigfuck! EVERY intersection approaching the bridge was jammed such that one or two cars would get halfway through per light. These cars would then block the oncoming lanes. No one let anyone in. Nowhere were the SF Traffic pigs. It was sooooo fun.
However, our plan to have her meet me as close to the bridge as possible paid off and within a mere half-hour we went the 200-or-so feet down the street to the ramp and when we got onto the bridge, curiously traffic was moving rather well. So well, in fact, that I felt confident that I had time enough to stop at home and get my Southwest Airlines drink tickets.
I ran in and got the drink tix and as an afterthought, I grabbed a wondrous snack that I felt I would need because of SWA's peanuts-only food policy. I snagged a Deli-style, pepperoni-flavored Slim Jim that I bought at the next-door liquor store a week or so before. I was looking forward to eating it with a drink-ticket-bought Miller Light on the plane. It never happened.
I lost my Slim Jim. When I say "lost," I mean TSA "confiscated" it. Here's what happened:
My grrrrrl dropped me off and I went into the terminal. I determined my gate and made my way to the security check-in. When I finally got through the line to the scanner, I chucked my backpack in and threw all the rest of my junk, including the Slim Jim, into a plastic bin and sent it through. My sac came through okay and but one of the genius TSA goons took the plastic bin containing all the rest of my junk to one of the exam tables.
"Whose is this?" he asked.
"That's my junk," I said.
"What is this," he asked, holding up my Slim Jim.
"THAT is a Deli-style, pepperoni-flavored Slim Jim," I answered.
"It looks like a club. Can't bring clubs. It's on the list: No clubs, baseball bats, blackjacks, lighters. It's not allowed."
I was stunned. "It's not a club, it's a spicy, beefy, deli-style meat stick! It's not a club!"
He was not deterred. "Can't even be close to a club. This thing is close to a club. I can't let you take it. It's long and thick like a club. It's a forbidden item."
Thinking this jerk was going to steal my meaty treat I made a desperate proposal. "How about I bite it in half ... right down the middle? Maybe chew on the ends a little? If it's long enough to be mistaken for a club, I'll make it less long and take the rest on the plane? What do ya say?"
"Violation," he said. "No eating near the scanner-thing. I'm going to have to confiscate it. Please take the rest of your things and move along. And PLEASE put back on your shoes." Then he returned to his post - with my Slim Jim.
That fuckin' jerk. He stole my dinner and implied my feet stank. They didn't. I checked.
Tonight - Bigfoot Lodge.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
Be there and meat people. heh.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
6.4.2k5
I'm jetting outta town to see Phil for his birthday and when I'm fixin' to leave work I notice the traffic is a goddamn mess. I called and then begged my grrrrl to meet me on this side of town so I didn't have to go through the bad traffic to get her and come back again, as she was gonna drop me at the airport. She agreed, and when she showed up, we got into the Jeep and waded into the jam. What a pigfuck! EVERY intersection approaching the bridge was jammed such that one or two cars would get halfway through per light. These cars would then block the oncoming lanes. No one let anyone in. Nowhere were the SF Traffic pigs. It was sooooo fun.
However, our plan to have her meet me as close to the bridge as possible paid off and within a mere half-hour we went the 200-or-so feet down the street to the ramp and when we got onto the bridge, curiously traffic was moving rather well. So well, in fact, that I felt confident that I had time enough to stop at home and get my Southwest Airlines drink tickets.
I ran in and got the drink tix and as an afterthought, I grabbed a wondrous snack that I felt I would need because of SWA's peanuts-only food policy. I snagged a Deli-style, pepperoni-flavored Slim Jim that I bought at the next-door liquor store a week or so before. I was looking forward to eating it with a drink-ticket-bought Miller Light on the plane. It never happened.
I lost my Slim Jim. When I say "lost," I mean TSA "confiscated" it. Here's what happened:
My grrrrrl dropped me off and I went into the terminal. I determined my gate and made my way to the security check-in. When I finally got through the line to the scanner, I chucked my backpack in and threw all the rest of my junk, including the Slim Jim, into a plastic bin and sent it through. My sac came through okay and but one of the genius TSA goons took the plastic bin containing all the rest of my junk to one of the exam tables.
"Whose is this?" he asked.
"That's my junk," I said.
"What is this," he asked, holding up my Slim Jim.
"THAT is a Deli-style, pepperoni-flavored Slim Jim," I answered.
"It looks like a club. Can't bring clubs. It's on the list: No clubs, baseball bats, blackjacks, lighters. It's not allowed."
I was stunned. "It's not a club, it's a spicy, beefy, deli-style meat stick! It's not a club!"
He was not deterred. "Can't even be close to a club. This thing is close to a club. I can't let you take it. It's long and thick like a club. It's a forbidden item."
Thinking this jerk was going to steal my meaty treat I made a desperate proposal. "How about I bite it in half ... right down the middle? Maybe chew on the ends a little? If it's long enough to be mistaken for a club, I'll make it less long and take the rest on the plane? What do ya say?"
"Violation," he said. "No eating near the scanner-thing. I'm going to have to confiscate it. Please take the rest of your things and move along. And PLEASE put back on your shoes." Then he returned to his post - with my Slim Jim.
That fuckin' jerk. He stole my dinner and implied my feet stank. They didn't. I checked.
Tonight - Bigfoot Lodge.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
Be there and meat people. heh.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Thursday, June 16, 2005
HBD AJC
6.3.2k5
What's the best thing about birthdays? Why the best thing about birthdays is when they are on or around a Thursday Night Social Club meeting! It's even better when it's yr pal's birthday and he is the Linkey-Loo Coordinator! So ... Happy Birthday Alan! Geez ... too bad yr birthday shipment of extra-extra-extra virgin olive oil is held up in customs or we'd have a right fun party! It is SF and oil's the key! Huh? Party on sans oil here:
Tonight - Edinburgh Castle Pub and Theatre.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
Enjoy fried fishy! Ply AC w/ drinks! Be kind. Start smoking.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
6.3.2k5
What's the best thing about birthdays? Why the best thing about birthdays is when they are on or around a Thursday Night Social Club meeting! It's even better when it's yr pal's birthday and he is the Linkey-Loo Coordinator! So ... Happy Birthday Alan! Geez ... too bad yr birthday shipment of extra-extra-extra virgin olive oil is held up in customs or we'd have a right fun party! It is SF and oil's the key! Huh? Party on sans oil here:
Tonight - Edinburgh Castle Pub and Theatre.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
Enjoy fried fishy! Ply AC w/ drinks! Be kind. Start smoking.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Today the van broke down.
6.2.2k5
I like to drink, yes.
Sometimes I drink too much, yes.
The other night I drank too much and felt bad the next day, yes.
Sometimes I drink a lot and skip eating, yes.
I seen a gal once, yes, who was wasted. She was brought to the TNSC meeting by a lovely list member. She had clearly drunk a lot and did not skip eating: She snagged my snack! Ya see, this bar has no kitchen, but it does serve up a great snack in the form of a big hunk of cheese and a mess of saltines. Cheese and saltines and beer. Yum! So I meet this drunk grrrrl, order myself and MY lady a couple beers and cheese/saltine snack and the barkeep serves it up. I had a beer to my grrrrl, pick up my beer and this OTHER grrrl I just met, drunk, snagged my cheese/saltines and then ... and then ... proceeded to eat 'em as if they were free or hers. It was awesome. She was so drunk and so helping herself to my snack that I found it not totally unacceptable, but totally fascinating. I looked to my grrrrrl to see if she was witnessing the spectacle and indeed she was, but to my calm wonder of the situation, she was furious. Her blood was clearly boiling and was about to boil over. It was as fun to watch as the grrrl who snagged my snack.
Soon, though, the grrrl tired of my snack and stopped mowing it down. "Ugh," she said, "I can't eat another bite." "Are you sure," I asked, as I slid the snack over to my grrrrrl, "you won't have another? There's some left." "No," she said, "I already had two of them baskets and I ain't supposed to eat that much cheese."
HOLY SHIT, yes.
Tonight - Specs'.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
This joint Specs' is where a guy or gal can get a basket of saltines and a hunk of cheese. Keep yr eyes on 'em, though.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
6.2.2k5
I like to drink, yes.
Sometimes I drink too much, yes.
The other night I drank too much and felt bad the next day, yes.
Sometimes I drink a lot and skip eating, yes.
I seen a gal once, yes, who was wasted. She was brought to the TNSC meeting by a lovely list member. She had clearly drunk a lot and did not skip eating: She snagged my snack! Ya see, this bar has no kitchen, but it does serve up a great snack in the form of a big hunk of cheese and a mess of saltines. Cheese and saltines and beer. Yum! So I meet this drunk grrrrl, order myself and MY lady a couple beers and cheese/saltine snack and the barkeep serves it up. I had a beer to my grrrrl, pick up my beer and this OTHER grrrl I just met, drunk, snagged my cheese/saltines and then ... and then ... proceeded to eat 'em as if they were free or hers. It was awesome. She was so drunk and so helping herself to my snack that I found it not totally unacceptable, but totally fascinating. I looked to my grrrrrl to see if she was witnessing the spectacle and indeed she was, but to my calm wonder of the situation, she was furious. Her blood was clearly boiling and was about to boil over. It was as fun to watch as the grrrl who snagged my snack.
Soon, though, the grrrl tired of my snack and stopped mowing it down. "Ugh," she said, "I can't eat another bite." "Are you sure," I asked, as I slid the snack over to my grrrrrl, "you won't have another? There's some left." "No," she said, "I already had two of them baskets and I ain't supposed to eat that much cheese."
HOLY SHIT, yes.
Tonight - Specs'.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
This joint Specs' is where a guy or gal can get a basket of saltines and a hunk of cheese. Keep yr eyes on 'em, though.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Dingus II
6.1.2k5
Which of the following statements is true?
A. I quit swearing
B. I quit drinking
C. I started going to church
D. I root for the Giants
E. I quit smoking
Let's consider each option:
"A. I quit swearing." If you know anything about me, you know that I love to swear. I mean I really love it. I love putting together new swear-words by cramming old ones together. "Shitass buttpuppy." If I were guessing truth I would rule this one out.
"B. I quit drinking." Let's see ... Republicans. War. Republicans. Garden pests. Republicans. Traffic. Republicans. Shitty baseball teams. Republicans ... if there weren't reasons to drink in the first place, there's always "drinking sure is fun." Nope.
"C. I started going to church." If 'church' means 'bar' I'd question whether I ever stopped going. But since 'church' is 'church' and I have no time, energy or rational, emotional or logical commitment to organized religion, it too is out.
"D. I root for the Giants" My corpse will rise from the grave and root for whatever team is playing the Giants. Least likely of all.
"E. I quit smoking" Guess that's the only one left. Since all the others are out, it must be true. Also submitted as evidence is the extra fifty bucks I got in my pocket from not buying smokes for a month. So far so good.
Tonight - The Orbit Room.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
Orbit Room is brought to you by popular demand.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
6.1.2k5
Which of the following statements is true?
A. I quit swearing
B. I quit drinking
C. I started going to church
D. I root for the Giants
E. I quit smoking
Let's consider each option:
"A. I quit swearing." If you know anything about me, you know that I love to swear. I mean I really love it. I love putting together new swear-words by cramming old ones together. "Shitass buttpuppy." If I were guessing truth I would rule this one out.
"B. I quit drinking." Let's see ... Republicans. War. Republicans. Garden pests. Republicans. Traffic. Republicans. Shitty baseball teams. Republicans ... if there weren't reasons to drink in the first place, there's always "drinking sure is fun." Nope.
"C. I started going to church." If 'church' means 'bar' I'd question whether I ever stopped going. But since 'church' is 'church' and I have no time, energy or rational, emotional or logical commitment to organized religion, it too is out.
"D. I root for the Giants" My corpse will rise from the grave and root for whatever team is playing the Giants. Least likely of all.
"E. I quit smoking" Guess that's the only one left. Since all the others are out, it must be true. Also submitted as evidence is the extra fifty bucks I got in my pocket from not buying smokes for a month. So far so good.
Tonight - The Orbit Room.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
Orbit Room is brought to you by popular demand.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
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