Ska ... ?
10.4.2k5
When I lived in Chicago the city's professional basketball team, the Bulls (perhaps you've heard of them), were very good and won the championship several years in a row. Back then I gave a crap about basketball and it was really exciting to watch the games and feel the tension mount in the city and be rewarded with a fun, city-wide celebration.
The day that the Bulls won their second straight title I was sitting in a bar (surprise) hours before gametime having a cold beer. In walked the neighborhood's plainclothed cops came in and asked the big Serbian bartender when he was closing for the night. He told them 5 a.m., which is the normal closing time for Chicago bars. The cops said, "No, what time are you closing tonight?" The barkeep looked confused. "5?" he said. The bigger of the two big cops said, "You don't understand the question so I'll say it again: What time are you closing TONIGHT?" Something dawned on the bartender. "3 a.m.?" he said. The cop leaned in and said, "What did you say?" "Um ... I think I'm closing at 1 a.m. tonight," said the bartender. I nudged my roommate and said, "We need to stock the fridge cuz all the bars will be closed." I thought about it. "Probably a good idea," I said, looking at the cops. They were satisfied and said to the bartender on their way out, "see you at 1." I think Mil closed up at midnight.
Later that night my sister and I were saved from an exploding M-80 by a stranger. My ears rang for weeks.
Tonight - Lone Palm.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
Play "Find the Reference." The title of the Venue Announcement refers to something in the rant. Find the reference and win a prize.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Batter up!
10.3.2k5
I seen some pretty neat things while away in Greece and had time to reflect on things over there different from things here in the USA. As I have copious notes on this subject and will share some with you today, I know you all hate to read and many of you can't read at all so for those few who care (if that's the right word), I've picked and will limit this to three things.
1. Americans in America are retarded. (Note: Americans abroad as you all well know have and deserve the reputation as being utter retards - loud, obnoxious fools with no manners, big mouths and shitty taste. I'm talking here of Americans at home.) Americans in America are retarded because they drive huge fucking cars and don't have any use at all for that much machine. Really! I didn't see any Suburbans, Escapes, Exploders, Escalades ... uh ... any Lux'ry Japanese SUVs, Korean or German SUVs. What these people got by with were scooters, motorcycles and ittybitty little cars that can circle the islands they live on a hundred times on a tank of gas. Even downtown big city Athens, nothing but two-wheelers and tiny cars. We can't even buy a midget car if we wanted cuz thar ain't any demand. I spell that RETARD.
2. Americans in America are retarded. They are because they are afraid of titties. No titties on the beaches, none on TV and, oh yeh! the former Attorney General of the country had the exposed titties on the STATUE of Lady Justice in the Dept. of Justice building covered up. What is the problem here? Tits are fucking great. And if you go over to Europe and see 'em all over the place you might wonder what the big deal is back home and come to the same conclusion I did: RETARDED.
3. (This is the observation that hit me the hardest) Frito-Lay makes a shitload of different flavored tater chips! My god I had no idea! Sea salt flavor. Garlic-salt flavor. Celery-salt. White pepper. Red pepper. Black pepper. Black pepper with sea salt. Ketchup flavor. Mustard flavor. Tarragon-mustard flavor. Oregano. Olive oil and oregano. Pickle. Cabbage. Cheese. Sizzlin' Bacon flavor. Mushroom and spring onion flavor. God damn the variety makes Kettle Chips' catalog look like child's play. And then there's the most compelling flavor of all ... the flavor that at once made me laugh and cry, made me salivate and gag, made me dance and flee: Prawn flavor. I gave in and scored some, and as I wasn't too peckish, I snagged a can of local brew and called it dinner:
Tonight - Annie's.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
There IS a reference tonight. Play the game. A real prize will be awarded.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
10.3.2k5
I seen some pretty neat things while away in Greece and had time to reflect on things over there different from things here in the USA. As I have copious notes on this subject and will share some with you today, I know you all hate to read and many of you can't read at all so for those few who care (if that's the right word), I've picked and will limit this to three things.
1. Americans in America are retarded. (Note: Americans abroad as you all well know have and deserve the reputation as being utter retards - loud, obnoxious fools with no manners, big mouths and shitty taste. I'm talking here of Americans at home.) Americans in America are retarded because they drive huge fucking cars and don't have any use at all for that much machine. Really! I didn't see any Suburbans, Escapes, Exploders, Escalades ... uh ... any Lux'ry Japanese SUVs, Korean or German SUVs. What these people got by with were scooters, motorcycles and ittybitty little cars that can circle the islands they live on a hundred times on a tank of gas. Even downtown big city Athens, nothing but two-wheelers and tiny cars. We can't even buy a midget car if we wanted cuz thar ain't any demand. I spell that RETARD.
2. Americans in America are retarded. They are because they are afraid of titties. No titties on the beaches, none on TV and, oh yeh! the former Attorney General of the country had the exposed titties on the STATUE of Lady Justice in the Dept. of Justice building covered up. What is the problem here? Tits are fucking great. And if you go over to Europe and see 'em all over the place you might wonder what the big deal is back home and come to the same conclusion I did: RETARDED.
3. (This is the observation that hit me the hardest) Frito-Lay makes a shitload of different flavored tater chips! My god I had no idea! Sea salt flavor. Garlic-salt flavor. Celery-salt. White pepper. Red pepper. Black pepper. Black pepper with sea salt. Ketchup flavor. Mustard flavor. Tarragon-mustard flavor. Oregano. Olive oil and oregano. Pickle. Cabbage. Cheese. Sizzlin' Bacon flavor. Mushroom and spring onion flavor. God damn the variety makes Kettle Chips' catalog look like child's play. And then there's the most compelling flavor of all ... the flavor that at once made me laugh and cry, made me salivate and gag, made me dance and flee: Prawn flavor. I gave in and scored some, and as I wasn't too peckish, I snagged a can of local brew and called it dinner:
Tonight - Annie's.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
There IS a reference tonight. Play the game. A real prize will be awarded.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, October 06, 2005
God, schmod....
10.1.2k5
...I want my MONKEY MAN!!!! That's one of my favorite Bart Simpson™ quotes.
Linkey-loo™ Robot stepping in again. I often think about how gods and deities are often called upon to "seal the deal", or as the final say in an argument. It's a very ancient and underhanded persuasive measure, in my mind. It's the cause of wars, and worse.
For example, I received a very special request for tonight's venue. It is in honor of TNSC members (and founders) Christi and Josh, who are still celebrating their honeymoon in Greece. So, for that, we are going to Bacchus Kirk.
What the ROMAN god of wine has to do with Greece, I do not know.
See you there!! I know I'll be!!!
bye-ee!!
Linkey-Loo Robot -
AJC
10.1.2k5
...I want my MONKEY MAN!!!! That's one of my favorite Bart Simpson™ quotes.
Linkey-loo™ Robot stepping in again. I often think about how gods and deities are often called upon to "seal the deal", or as the final say in an argument. It's a very ancient and underhanded persuasive measure, in my mind. It's the cause of wars, and worse.
For example, I received a very special request for tonight's venue. It is in honor of TNSC members (and founders) Christi and Josh, who are still celebrating their honeymoon in Greece. So, for that, we are going to Bacchus Kirk.
What the ROMAN god of wine has to do with Greece, I do not know.
See you there!! I know I'll be!!!
bye-ee!!
Linkey-Loo Robot -
AJC
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