Thursday, April 27, 2006

Patrick
4.4.2k6

Man I need some time off. That must sound funny coming from a guy whose commute to work is approximately 10' from my bed to my computer. It's the truth nevertheless. I'm a busy mofo.
I got calls to make and calls to return. Emails to read, emails to write. Things to buy, things to sell. Things to pack and things to chuck. And on top of all this ... I got a cat's ass to shave and a lot of poop to clean up.

I wrote about three paragraphs detailing the last statement and I erased them. You don't need to know about Fats' poop problem. Let's just say he's 16 years old next month and that makes him a senior citizen in cat years. He's falling apart. First it was his thyroid. Then it was his kidneys. Now I guess it's his starfish. God damn I'm glad he's not a dog.

Tonight - Doc's Clock.

Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!


bye-ee!

whrr ... clik!

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Sweet Soul Sister
4.3.2k6

Being old sucks! I fuckin' hurt myself by scarfing down a burrito. I feel like shit! It's because I'm old. I don't act old and normally I don't feel old but I don't remember feeling like shit after scarfing down a burrtio in my youth. I don't recommend it. And the kick to the nuts was that the burrito was not really any good at all. Oh well. That's why they make beers ... to save us from things that suck.

Tonight - Nova Bar.

Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!

GKRobots should come to this one, as it's right around the corner.

bye-ee!

whrr ... clik!

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Fe + y
4.2.2k6

One would think that workin' at home would afford a guy more time to do things like eat. Not this guy. I got work work and I got pack-the-house work that's keeping me from attending the last couple TNSC NoCal meetings, tonight's meeting being one of 'em, sadly enough.

Get over it at The Homestead. Folsom & 19th.

Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!



bye-ee!

whrr ... clik!

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Synonymous with asphyxiation.
4.1.2k6

On the airplane up from LAX the other night I sat next to the biggest fucking douchebag I've seen in a while. He had the emergency exit row seat I wanted and I was sitting one row back and right of him, so I could see it all, no matter I didn't want to. Here's his highlight reel:

During the Emergency Procedure demo he waited until the flight attendant (doing the demo right in front of him) showed us how to click the metal parts of the belt together before dramatically clicking his belt together. He then said, "Did I do it right?" to the FA. She smiled a fakey and said, "good boy." He smiled a doofus and looked pleased. I wanted to choke him.

His goddamn phone rang during takeoff. He dug it out and only then turned it off. I wanted to throttle him.

He whipped out his laptop and a CD case, selected a disc and stuck it in. It was Rocky II. Some shithead watching a two hour movie on a one-hour flight is one thing, but in a darkened cabin, in a seat right in front of you so you can't avoid seeing Mr. T beating the shit outta 'ol Rocky is another thing entirely. It's a fucked thing. I wanted to strangle him.

It's kinda picky, but he LOOKED like a total jerk: alligator shoes, business slacks, a yellow dress shirt w/ white pinstripes, cuffs and collar, a fugly tie, glasses, an earring and a ponytail. I wanted to interfere with his breathing.

He had to be told to turn off Rocky II TWICE durning approach. I wanted to compress his throat.

He whipped out his iPod and 'phones AFTER being told to shut off electronics, turned it on and then turned on the overhead to see the display, presumably to find a song. Guess he didn't know about the backlight. I wanted to constrict his windpipe.

Then, finally, we were on the ground waiting for our gate to open up and after a few minutes he rang his overhead and the FA came over. He said, "I thought you weren't allowed to move about the cabin." She said, "I am. You are not. What do you want?" "Why aren't we moving?" "The captain annouced that there is a plane at our gate. We wait." He said, "A two hour delay at LAX and now we wait on the ground here? I've got an hour drive home." She said, "We've got to pick up the people at that gate and take them back to LAX. It's a long night for all of us." I wanted to garrote him.

It's always fun on Southwest Airlines. One day I will tell the tale told to me by a gal I know. She's unique because she likes bacon even more than I do. Imagine that.

Tonight - 500 Club.

Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!

Workin' at home ... ain't what she used to be!

bye-ee!

whrr ... clik!