Vernon II

12.3.2k8

Gettin' up in the morn and going to work is the engine that keeps the modern world running, although in these troubling financial times fewer people need do because they done been laid off. Been there.

There's a bloke in my neighborhood that goes as far as getting up, getting dressed and getting into his car, but that's it. I've observed him for quite some time doing this: Just sitting in his car, an old, junky, tan Astrovan or some such. At times he reads the paper. Other times he smokes. Just recently I spied a tiny TV on his dash. How long he sits there I don't know. What time he starts in the am, I don't know. How long he's been doing this, again, I don't know.

I wonder if he tells the wife, "bye honey, see you tonight," like that guy in that crappy Joel Schumacher movie (which one? They're ALL crappy! ha ha ha!) and pretends to go to the office. Ain't likely, though, as he's always in the same place. One trip to the Ralph's by his wife and a chance drive-by of his spot and the jig would be up. No, I don't think he's lying to anyone. I think he's just a guy that sits in his car.


Tonight - Homestead.



bye-ee!

whrr ... clik!

Believe it!

12.2.2k8

Quiz! What do these two nimrods ...


... have in common with these two nimrods?


Give up?? They all eat off the same plates!

Ya see, the cats' diets have changed over time and they now eat canned food. Only thing, their cat dishes were deep for a pile of dry food, not flat for a glob of wet. So my little wife went over to the second-hand shop (quote: "I don't want those fuckers eating off the plates WE eat off") and scored a foursome of small plates. Here are two:



The do the job very well. We got four so we could have two in action and have a pair clean at the same time. I was washing the cat spit off one when I turned it over and saw the stamp:




Braniff Airlines? I've flown Braniff! I don't remember such in-flight service, er ... service. Further inspection shows they were dishes for 747s ... likely First Class service, for folks like the nimrods pictured above.


I showed this to my wife and she didn't care. But I couldn't help but think of the exotic ports-of-call these simple dishes have visited in their time in service. The adventure! The wonder! Then I thought of their sad fates ... a dish for sliced chicken hearts and livers in thick gravy. ick.

But oh! the glory days!




Tonight - Club Deluxe.

Burlesque night!!

bye-ee!

whrr ... clik!

Pork
12.1.2k8

My brother moved recently. His new apartment is in a five-story apartment building and he lives on the third floor in apartment 312. One floor above him, in 412, lives a real-live whore!! There's the obvious drawbacks to living under a whore, but as this one is a "Ritz Carlton" whore, it's not as bad as one would think. Loud sometimes, but not really the icky, junky, street-walking type. My brother figures she has regular johns, as the bed upstairs creaks at regular intervals.

Anyway, I tell you this because my brother told me a fun story. It was a week or two after he moved in and after a busy week and an especially tough Friday that at 11:45p he decided to call it a night. Moments after he settled in, he heard a couple loud grrrrls approaching from down the hall. Moments later, someone put their shoulder into his door and began to pound on it. "Roxy!! Roxy!!! Open up!!" My brother thought, what the hell, and opened up.

Outside stood two drunk skinny girls in big black boots, tight dresses and a lot of hairspray and makeup. They regarded each other a few seconds. Standing there in nothing but black socks and happiness, he said to the two "marina skanks," "I think you want the floor above me. But, hell, if you want a couple Miller Lites™ and some Triscuits™, come on in." They declined.

Tonight - Lucky 13.



bye-ee!

whrr ... clik!