Solid!

7.5.2kX

The dumpster divers in my Sea View neighborhood of Los Angeles are many and most of them are rather annoying.

My neighbors and I have been given three dumpsters each for our places; one green one for yard debris, one blue one for recyclable and one black one for neither yard debris nor recyclables. The black one's for trash.

Anyway ... the divers target the blue bins and cull out the beer cans (from mine, read that as LOTS OF BEER CANS) and glass, such as wine bottles (from mine, read that as LOTS OF WINE BOTTLES). You've seen them in your city, in your neighborhood, they're everywhere.

I call the ones in my 'hood annoying for a couple reasons. One, they dive every day, and multiple times per day! Jeez! I can hardly empty the in-side bin before I hear someone clanking them into their shopping cart. Two, I spend as much time out in our back yard w/ my family as I can, and the fence surrounding it is not totally opaque. So when dude is dumpster-diving, he or she is right-fucking-there.

Another reason is that one or two of the divers litter like crazy! They throw the shit they don't want out on the ground to get to the juicy morsels of aluminum and glass. The jerks!

Lastly, while not annoying, it's certainly curious: They check the other bins. The yard guys use the green one, almost exclusively, but for the dead basil plants I throw in it. And the black one? The trash? I shit you not, just about the only thing we put in it is used cat litter and dirty diapers. Everything else goes in the compost heap, the In-sink-erator® or the blue recycle bin.

Once, I was outside and witnessed a diver rooting through my blue bin and I said aloud but softly, "yr tooooo late." The diver went to the next one and opened the green one, only to close it again. "Don't open the black one," I said, knowing it was really REALLY foul, "you'll be sorrrrrry ..." The diver opened it. Peered inside. Leaned in. Then recoiled in absolute disgust and vomited on the pavement.

"Told ya," I said.

Tonight - Homestead.


bye-ee!

whrr ... clik!

33129 Redux

7.4.2kX

Everybody's got vices and I figure I got my share and perhaps a few others'. (I do know how to express plurals and possessives with use (or desuetude) of apostrophes, goddemmit.) I drink and swear a lot. Enough for a couple fellas for sure. I don't pick fights much or hit women much, but I blow good cash on comic books, expensive cheese and bad pr0n. Sometimes I don't bathe for days and sometimes I leave the catbox far too long unattended.

My little wife is pretty saintly in comparison. She's clean, kempt and courteous. She's not a teetotaler, mind you. She prefers "quality" over "quantity." She has got a bad problem, though, bordering on a vice: She's powerful fond of tabloids.

She doesn't go for the "World Weekly News" or the "Sun" or the "Inquirer," no, she prefers her tabloid glossy, staple-bound and high-brow. She goes for "Us" and "People."

I've had a chance to paw through one or two of these rags while, uh, "immobilized," and jesus I don't get it. Who cares what those mopes (celebrities) are up to? JLo's shopping at a gun store. Wow. Jen's back on the meth. Oh my. Tom and that slut ate their baby. Big shit. Page after page of who's who in Hollywood, rock, hiphop or whatever. Got me thinking: "Us?" "People?" If I were the publisher and I was in touch with a little thing some call REALITY, I'd notice my tabloid magazines were inappropriately named. "People" would be better named as "Rich & Famous People Candidly Photographed In Santa Monica By Our Paparazzi And Whose Activity Was Speculated Upon By Our Staff Of Writers." It's a mouthful, but it's more accurate. My wife's other fave, "Us," is really poorly named. Us? Brad Pitt, that whore and me? Us? No way. They ain't us. Renamed: "Them."

Tonight - North Beach - Tony Nik's "Cafe". It's been a while since we've been there, but it's always fun.

Here's tonight's: Find the Reference! Winner gets a prize.


bye-ee!

whrr ... clik!

51st State

7.3.2kX

Does anyone remember back in the 70s and 80s when there would be news reports about a bar in West Germany - frequented by GIs - that got blown up by some terrorist group or another? The bomb would be in a backpack or small sac that the normal-looking terrorist would innocently leave under the table they'd been drinking at - often cozying up to the very GIs they were about to blow up. Jerks.

It happened at airports, too. These were not really booby traps, just innocent-looking luggage or items that didn't draw much attention to themselves. They belonged to someone.

I was waiting to jet to the desert last Saturday, and in the terminal observed a fellow on a phone call sitting across from me at one end of a row of seats; his wheelie at his side. I looked up from the book I was reading: A book about US paratroopers in WWII and the off-the-hook crackpots they were. I looked up in astonishment of what I'd just read. I looked up and there he was, getting pretty excited on the phone. He got up and walked off. I went back to my book.

A few minutes later I looked up again (again in astonishment), and noticed he had not returned. I glanced around the gate-area and there he was, on the phone near the windows, his wheelie still near the seat he had sat in. As I watched, a girl came over and sat in the very seat. A short time later, some kid sat on the floor right next to the wheelie, which now looked like it belonged to the girl. Telephone wheelie-abandoner was still on his call.

They called my boarding group. I queued. Boarded. Jetted. Don't know what happened, but didn't expect anything would.

This morning, on the radio, I heard a news report that a security inspection at LAX revealed some pretty big holes. One of which was seemingly-abandoned luggage was allowed to sit for long periods without being investigated.

No shit.

Tonight - Two-fer: We'll start off early at the The Knockout for "Bingotopia" followed by Argus Lounge for $5 Maker's Mark specials after 9pm!

Oh yeh: TNSC Birthday Greetings to JPo and Joan Bittner!

bye-ee!

whrr ... clik!

Golden Ball Redux.

7.2.2kX

I love how in Windoze when ya have the caps lock key down and yr typin' and you capitalize something and it comes out all fucked up.  Here's an example:  jOSH IS AN aSSpACK.

Tonight - Special Burrrrlesque Request at: Club Deluxe.
$5 Cover. Lots of entertainment!

Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!

bye-ee! whrr ... clik!

Goldfish

7.1.2kX

My boy Ez turns two on Monday. Happy Birthday, Ez!!

His favorite TV show features a big furry Alzheimer's patient named Murry and an annoying little furball that giggles a lot, refers to himself in the third person and lives in a weird room controlled by a magic crayon.

My favorite TV show is sadly about little bears getting annihilated.

Tonight - 500 Club.

bye-ee!

whrr ... clik!