CHiPs

1.4.2kXI

I really hate the fact that I don't have a lot of stupid stories to relate to you all week after week. One might think that LA would offer a plethora of ridiculous anecdotes, but as I'm living and working on the westside and hardly ever straying from it, I'm afraid it's usually AC posting "vintage" Venue Announcements. Whatever ... some of them (the ones he reposts) were kinda funny.

So to give you a fresh one, here goes: I was biking home as usual, when a little pickup pulled out well in front of me, but not too far to not read the license plate: "CHI DOG" I thought, cool! I LOVE Chicago-style hotdogs. Dude must too, or he'd not pony up for the custom tags.

Seems he either didn't know his way around the neighborhood too well or was the only motherfucker in LA who wasn't in a hurry because I caught up with him. I yelled, "Is CHI DOG about Chicago-style hotdogs?" He said, "No ... it's 'Chi,'" (he pronounced it "chee") "Chinese mystical energy," or some such shit. I should have known. "Oh," I said, "I guess that will do too," and wheeled off, mystically shaking my head.

Tonight - Homestead.


bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!

6 Years Ago Today

Penny-stealing ... criminal ... man.
1.3.2k11

A Christmas tradition that had taken a backseat to getting smashed on NOG for me was enjoying the Christmas Stocking. My Ma was a champion at stuffing the thing with really great stuff back when I was a wee little Robot. And I ain't talkin' about "fillers" like oranges and such. Everything was precious and well thought out.

This past Xmas the small circle of Fam and Friends and I resurrected the tradition in Grand Style! We went as far as decorating our own homemade stockings (the 'blanks' deftly crafted by a crafty Delp) by cutting up bits of felt and glueing them on. This Robot, looking for inspiration thought of the things he liked most ... and came up w/ Nachos and Margaritas! Both rendered in felt quite well, if I do say so myownself.

So on Xmas morning I dissassemble the bloated stocking and much to my delight I find little booze bottles and cigarettes, a false moustache (and spirit gum), some lottery tickets, a Daily Racing Form, a bottle of dishwashing liquid, a pad of Post-Its and a small round pin - some folks call them buttons - that said in a crazy typeface: COFFEE SLUT.

I affixed the COFFEE SLUT button to my fleecy, warm sweatshirt and proudly wore it, as I am, indeed, a COFFEE SLUT. There the button remains and whenever I don the fleecy, warm sweatshirt I remember the joy of the Xmas stocking.

FAST FORWARD to last Saturday when the grrrrrrrl and I are on our way to a weekend in Yosemite and we stop in a grocery store. I'm again wearing the fleecy, warm sweatshirt and it indeed still has the COFFEE SLUT button on it but I don't really see it anymore because it's always there. All at once, in line to check out, I see the COFFEE SLUT button and laugh quietly to myself. Then the nice lady starts ringing up the beer, beef jerky, dry-roasted peanuts and, without looking up, says, "So ... you're a COFFEE SLUT." I said, "heh, okay." She said, "Your button. It says COFFEE SLUT." I looked down at the button and said, "Oh! That’s, uh, that’s uh, my piece of flair. I'm, you know, required to wear a certain amount of flair. ... uh ... I didn’t actually choose this. I, uh, I just grabbed a button and, uh, I don’t even know what it says! Y’know, I don’t really care. I don’t really like talking about my flair."

The nice lady looked me with sad eyes and said, "okay, fine. Sorry." I paid and left.

Tonight - The Minx. (the website splashpage is outdated. The taxidermy is not.)

bye-ee!

whrr ... clik!

Oh hell

1.2.2k11

Where'd the year go? Where'd the day go? Dago?

Tonight - Doc's Clock.

One of my favorites.

bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!

1.1.2kXI

Work woes got me a little slow out the gate w/ the 1st post of 2011. I promise they'll ramp up.

Meanwhile enjoy our fabulous evening's destinatio !!!

Tonight - House of Shields

Did you know it was a private men’s drinking club until 1972? Read on!

bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!