8.4.2014
Guess what this is:
Yard boss 1
Concrete "fuck you."
Shop guy
White rocks
Yard boss 2
Prius 1 (no stickers)
Concrete goat
Yellow house
5TTN666
Danger 1
TWICE 1
Prius 2 (stickers)
Danger 2
Target below!
Bobcat warning!
Thomeless camp
Gate check
It's a list of shit I see every day on my ride to work!
I make lists of everything! I've got OCD! yay!
Tonight - Homestead.
(Annual celebratio of Burning Man liberating our city!!!)
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Thursday, August 21, 2014
Zoo Croo
8.3.2014
I got an alarm clock, but I don't need one, because I've been waking up early for six years now, and I'm so used to it, I wake up early automatically. Yes, I'm pointing the finger at the wee Robot.
It's not as big a deal as one might think. If I was asked 15 years ago, I'd have thought that waking up before an alarm clock set for three minutes to seven even goes off was a terrible thing indeed. In reality, it's okay.
Even though I don't need the thing, I have it set. It's not set so much to ensure I wake up and get going, it's set to go off and annoy me. It accomplishes this by being set to KXLU, the radio station of the Loyola U down here in LA. And if you're guessing that this means they got "college music" playing on their "college radio station," you are correct, ma'am or sir.
I don't know why, but damn-near every college radio station I've ever gotten a signal from has had the MOST annoying programming I've ever heard. And I enjoy a very wide range of music. I like well-produced, pro stuff and DIY junk. I like major-label stuff and indie stuff. I like regular. I like weird! But I find the shit that WNUR, KALX and KXLU play really fucking annoying. Most of the songs have never been played anywhere but in the bedroom where they were recorded and never will be played again. And the jocks act all cool because they're on the cutting edge. It's funny that the gag continues year after year.
Tonight, by request: The Residence (cash only)
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
I got an alarm clock, but I don't need one, because I've been waking up early for six years now, and I'm so used to it, I wake up early automatically. Yes, I'm pointing the finger at the wee Robot.
It's not as big a deal as one might think. If I was asked 15 years ago, I'd have thought that waking up before an alarm clock set for three minutes to seven even goes off was a terrible thing indeed. In reality, it's okay.
Even though I don't need the thing, I have it set. It's not set so much to ensure I wake up and get going, it's set to go off and annoy me. It accomplishes this by being set to KXLU, the radio station of the Loyola U down here in LA. And if you're guessing that this means they got "college music" playing on their "college radio station," you are correct, ma'am or sir.
I don't know why, but damn-near every college radio station I've ever gotten a signal from has had the MOST annoying programming I've ever heard. And I enjoy a very wide range of music. I like well-produced, pro stuff and DIY junk. I like major-label stuff and indie stuff. I like regular. I like weird! But I find the shit that WNUR, KALX and KXLU play really fucking annoying. Most of the songs have never been played anywhere but in the bedroom where they were recorded and never will be played again. And the jocks act all cool because they're on the cutting edge. It's funny that the gag continues year after year.
Tonight, by request: The Residence (cash only)
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, August 14, 2014
Save Water, Drink Wine
8.2.2014
Have ya heard about the terrible drought we're having here in Cali? Have you felt it? Can you see it? If you're anywhere in the whole state with the exception of at the bottom of Lake Tahoe (like some mob snitches certainly are), you answer yes to all of the above questions. It sucks.
It sucks so bad that people are starting to firebomb neighbors that water their lawns and keep'm lush. People are poisoning the decorative fountains in their parks so the koi die and the city shuts'm down. People aren't going to the Dodgers games anymore because of their green outfield. Oh wait, they're aren't going unless the Dodgers are giving away bobbleheads or backpacks or switchblades or something.
Water waste is a big fucking problem. I shake my own head in disgust when I see it. ... with ONE exception:
There's a back alley-like access to the place I work. It's really a series of interconnected parking lots that go from the street a half-mile away to my office and beyond. It's cool but for the alley-like, car park-like behavior of the mopes parking there who, not being on a street, figure there aren't any rules and drive worse than they do on, um, streets with rules.
My exception to viewing all water waste with disgust is a puddle in this back alley. It's full every night. It's runoff from a fucked-up sprinkler system and it's just deep enough to make a beautiful, gigantic, flower-like splash when I hit it with one of the front wheels of my Jeep. The water sprays up and out and drenches me so much I have to run the wipers. I get a perverse joy out of this dumb thing and can't wait to someday bring Ez along with me.
As long as it's wasted water, I may as well enjoy it, right?
Tonight - Clooney's venerable Missio dive, for sure.
Trivia: Though it's open 6am - 2am, 7 days a week, this is the first visit for the TNSC.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Have ya heard about the terrible drought we're having here in Cali? Have you felt it? Can you see it? If you're anywhere in the whole state with the exception of at the bottom of Lake Tahoe (like some mob snitches certainly are), you answer yes to all of the above questions. It sucks.
It sucks so bad that people are starting to firebomb neighbors that water their lawns and keep'm lush. People are poisoning the decorative fountains in their parks so the koi die and the city shuts'm down. People aren't going to the Dodgers games anymore because of their green outfield. Oh wait, they're aren't going unless the Dodgers are giving away bobbleheads or backpacks or switchblades or something.
Water waste is a big fucking problem. I shake my own head in disgust when I see it. ... with ONE exception:
There's a back alley-like access to the place I work. It's really a series of interconnected parking lots that go from the street a half-mile away to my office and beyond. It's cool but for the alley-like, car park-like behavior of the mopes parking there who, not being on a street, figure there aren't any rules and drive worse than they do on, um, streets with rules.
My exception to viewing all water waste with disgust is a puddle in this back alley. It's full every night. It's runoff from a fucked-up sprinkler system and it's just deep enough to make a beautiful, gigantic, flower-like splash when I hit it with one of the front wheels of my Jeep. The water sprays up and out and drenches me so much I have to run the wipers. I get a perverse joy out of this dumb thing and can't wait to someday bring Ez along with me.
As long as it's wasted water, I may as well enjoy it, right?
Tonight - Clooney's venerable Missio dive, for sure.
Trivia: Though it's open 6am - 2am, 7 days a week, this is the first visit for the TNSC.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, August 07, 2014
As Fine as 14 Year-Old Scotch
8.1.2014
[this is a doozie from this date, 14 years ago. Damn that robot could throw down a Venue Announcement back in the day]:
Try this on, okay?
Did you ever climb a tree only to find yourself unable to get down? I had a cat that we took camping and that little sucker climbed way up some ponderosa pine. Not a whole lot of horizontal limbs on this tree. Cricket could only go up. Couldn't turn around too easily. She just kinda hung there and squawked. I felt for her. I've been in situations where the way out wasn't too clear. Trees and other things. If you would like to talk to folks that get stuck up trees, the support group's meeting coincides with this week's TNSC meeting. Here:
Bender's Bar & Grill
You don't want to miss this. The keynote speaker has been stuck up in many a tree. New additions to the list: Brian and Kristin. Some folks call Kristin by her real name, Allison. Also new is a nice fella named Rob Williams. Returning to the list is our friend Colleen (She has a great story about the DMV and a lot of alcohol. Ask her to tell you.) Michael Weiss returns too. No one was purged from the list this week. Thanks to pinch hitter Mossy for last week's riveting TNSC announcement. Several of you wrote in to complain that I didn't give Rosey any guff a couple weeks back. Rosey hisownself noticed and mentioned it the next day. He also noticed that he got skipped on the ritual Friday morning slider run. I guess I'm responsible for Rosey's breakfast sandwich intake now, in addition to making sure his route to the TNSC meeting is mapped out. I wonder if he needs me to pay his rent next month for him or make some car repairs for him or shop for his mom's B-Day present or find a recipe for empanadas for him or pick out a Christmas tree for him or clean his carpets?
TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Bishop wants a strawberry picking contest. Okay then.
TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: The discovery of cesium. Mark Tellegen, in a dual role, will play both Robert Wilhelm Bunsen and the young Prussian physicist Gustav Kirchhoff, the discoverers of cesium. Heather Morra will play their spectroscope. Jeremy Johnson will play Bunsen's modifications to University of Heidelburg technician Peter Desaga's burner (Bunsen receives unfair credit for the invention of the classic piece of laboratory equipment, for he merely modified (and improved upon) an existing design). Spark Sorensen takes on the role of the burner itself. Kristin Nielson will play cesium's atomic number, 55. Amy Shuba will portray Desaga, who, in a little known bit of history, was so enraged with the license Bunsen took with his burner design, plotted with some of Heidelburg's most infamous and thoroughly discredited scientists and researchers in the biggest smear campaign against Bunsen that venerable institution, the U of Heidelburg, ever saw. (There were several smear campaigns. Desaga's was the biggest.)
TONIGHT'S SINGLED OUT LIST MEMBER: Todd Lindo is singled out tonight. People have been wondering where he's been.
Team Bjeldanes results from 23 July: Us - 28. Them - 9. We kinda ruled that one. They kinda cried about it. Three and oh. Team Bjeldanes results from 30 July: Us - 9. Them - 8. Got some lucky calls. Tough D in the last inning. Four and oh going into the bye week.
The Water-Pik has been repaired. It was under warranty so the repairs didn't cost anything. The sign-up sheet will be distributed first thing. Get there early for a good number.
Do yerself a favor and come to the meeting tonight.
bye-ee
whrr ... clik!
[this is a doozie from this date, 14 years ago. Damn that robot could throw down a Venue Announcement back in the day]:
Try this on, okay?
Did you ever climb a tree only to find yourself unable to get down? I had a cat that we took camping and that little sucker climbed way up some ponderosa pine. Not a whole lot of horizontal limbs on this tree. Cricket could only go up. Couldn't turn around too easily. She just kinda hung there and squawked. I felt for her. I've been in situations where the way out wasn't too clear. Trees and other things. If you would like to talk to folks that get stuck up trees, the support group's meeting coincides with this week's TNSC meeting. Here:
Bender's Bar & Grill
You don't want to miss this. The keynote speaker has been stuck up in many a tree. New additions to the list: Brian and Kristin. Some folks call Kristin by her real name, Allison. Also new is a nice fella named Rob Williams. Returning to the list is our friend Colleen (She has a great story about the DMV and a lot of alcohol. Ask her to tell you.) Michael Weiss returns too. No one was purged from the list this week. Thanks to pinch hitter Mossy for last week's riveting TNSC announcement. Several of you wrote in to complain that I didn't give Rosey any guff a couple weeks back. Rosey hisownself noticed and mentioned it the next day. He also noticed that he got skipped on the ritual Friday morning slider run. I guess I'm responsible for Rosey's breakfast sandwich intake now, in addition to making sure his route to the TNSC meeting is mapped out. I wonder if he needs me to pay his rent next month for him or make some car repairs for him or shop for his mom's B-Day present or find a recipe for empanadas for him or pick out a Christmas tree for him or clean his carpets?
TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Bishop wants a strawberry picking contest. Okay then.
TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: The discovery of cesium. Mark Tellegen, in a dual role, will play both Robert Wilhelm Bunsen and the young Prussian physicist Gustav Kirchhoff, the discoverers of cesium. Heather Morra will play their spectroscope. Jeremy Johnson will play Bunsen's modifications to University of Heidelburg technician Peter Desaga's burner (Bunsen receives unfair credit for the invention of the classic piece of laboratory equipment, for he merely modified (and improved upon) an existing design). Spark Sorensen takes on the role of the burner itself. Kristin Nielson will play cesium's atomic number, 55. Amy Shuba will portray Desaga, who, in a little known bit of history, was so enraged with the license Bunsen took with his burner design, plotted with some of Heidelburg's most infamous and thoroughly discredited scientists and researchers in the biggest smear campaign against Bunsen that venerable institution, the U of Heidelburg, ever saw. (There were several smear campaigns. Desaga's was the biggest.)
TONIGHT'S SINGLED OUT LIST MEMBER: Todd Lindo is singled out tonight. People have been wondering where he's been.
Team Bjeldanes results from 23 July: Us - 28. Them - 9. We kinda ruled that one. They kinda cried about it. Three and oh. Team Bjeldanes results from 30 July: Us - 9. Them - 8. Got some lucky calls. Tough D in the last inning. Four and oh going into the bye week.
The Water-Pik has been repaired. It was under warranty so the repairs didn't cost anything. The sign-up sheet will be distributed first thing. Get there early for a good number.
Do yerself a favor and come to the meeting tonight.
bye-ee
whrr ... clik!
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