3.4.2019 (first posted this week 2001)
Hands up. Who thinks that "Corporate Identities" and "Mission Statements" and the like are a bunch of junk? Boy I sure do. bla bla bla Just the other day I seen a bottle of shampoo that had this logo on it that pissed me off. First of all, the product was called "Nature's Blessed Wonder Organ Shampoo" or some shit like that. (Organ shampoo? Come on! I know your skin is an organ - but your hair? Isn't hair just cells? What kinda crack is this place smokin? Organ shampoo. Please.) The manufacturer of the product was like "Lucious Nature Farm and Beauty Health Happy Family Product Company." That made me want to puke, to tell you the truth. Then this naturefarm company is down Fresno way. God. I shoulda known. Fresno. I said to myself, "no wonder." Anyway, th'thing that pissed me off was the logo. It was this cute little bunny with a big ol' "X" through it. Like the no somking logo: A ciggy with a circle around it and an "X" through it. "What the?" I thought. "No bunny?" Why would they be sayin' that? No bunny? Jeez. That seems a strange thing to be puttin' your corporate foot down about. You would think "equal opportunity," or "no dope in this here office," or "we recycle" would be likely choices. I began to wonder why these folks X-ed out the bunny and the word "farm" in their company name hopped right out: I bet these shampoo farmers have some trouble with bunnies in their carrot patch. Y---ep!
Tonight: The Homestead. (special guests!!)
New to the list: Calvin. Returning to the list: Jimi. One longtime list member was not happy with the "nacho crap" in last week's Venue Announcement. She might prefer a shameless plug of her dance troupe that performs every Thursday night at 8:45 at Kanzaman. Said longtime list member will remain unnamed in this VA.
TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Musical Chairs (for Cameron)
TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: The van wreck in Strange Brew (MGM, 1983) (2nd installment in TNSC's salute to the silver screen.) Our heroes Bob and Doug MacKenzie's van's brakes were sabotaged! Out of control with no way to stop the van flew right off the pier into the bay. When they didn't surface, they were feared drowned. However, when rescue divers located the van in the water, the resourceful MacKenzie brothers were alive and well, breathing the air from the dozens of empty beer bottles that littered the van! Our players: Spaz as Bob and (nameless) as Doug (They're from Canada, eh?) Bercestey, Bishop, Bobo and Brett are the rescue divers. Alan said we could use his van and Moss will buy the beer.
TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: Bobo. It was his birthday last week but I had to single out Clova or she'd kill me.
Who thinks that shrink shoulda told Tony? I do.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, March 28, 2019
Thursday, March 21, 2019
Full Circle (REDUX)
3.3.2019 (first posted this week 2001)
Seen a bunch of fire extinguishers lined up on the loading dock out back of work. Nobody around. I guess someone lost 'em. My how that would suck if a fella lost his entire collection of fire extinguishers. I have a pal who collects Thermoses (What the hell is the plural of Thermos? Thermoses? Doesn't look right.) He would be pretty bent outta shape if he lost his entire collection. It's really impressive, my pal's Thermos collection. I never knew that there were so many different kinds of Thermoses. (That's how I'm gonna spell the plural of Thermos. Don't care if it's right or wrong. Gotta make a decision and stick to it.) There are bigguns that'll hold a whole pot of coffee. There's wide-mouth ones that are great for soup. I wouldn't be surprised if there were ones you could make some delicious cheesy nachos in. I really really like nachos. I made 'em for dinner the other night. At long last I have found some chips that don't sog too badly - even in the micro-zapper. That there is the key to good nachos: crispy chips. You got crispy chips and cheese that ain't melted ... that sucks. You got bubblygooeystringy cheese and sog-city chips ... yer screwin' yerself there too. I've been wrestling with nacho-cooking techniques for damn near thirty years and I finally got it. Or at least got it the other night. Crispy chips and the perfect gloppy sticky everywhere cheese. For good measure I threw the taco meat I made last week on top, sprinkled on some chopped serranos, covered and let them nachos fend for themselves in a 350 degree oven for 12 big minutes. I should oughta had some friends over to share: Made a lot. Couldn't finish. Dang they were good. I wish I coulda saved some and brought 'em to work, but nachos don't got legs. They don't travel well. You gotta eat 'em right out of the oven or forget it. Now that I think about it ... the Thermos company would score a coup if they could build a nacho Thermos. Imagine that. On a roadtrip, you could have a coffee Thermos and a nacho Thermos. At the ballgame, nachos (and not those crappy ones with not-hot peppers and questionable "cheese" they sell along with hotdogs). We'll see. Maybe some day.
Tonight - Bender's Bar & Grill
(by request / *CASH ONLY*)
The news: Last week, a little bit after I published "Pucker Up!" I pulled the plug on sirius.com. Yeah, the timing was a bit strange, but they were bumming me out. They should have billed themselves as an ISSP: Internet Shitty-Service Provider. Yah, so, I registered this here little domain, therein-lies.com, and TNSC will live here from now on. I can do fancy little internet thingys from here. Like make a mail box: tnsc@therein-lies.com (not to be confused with linkey_loo@therein-lies.com (more on that later)). Stay tuned for more. With all that BS said, there's, uh, no one new to the list.
TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Jumprope contest. (For Coach)
TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: (For the next few weeks, the TNSC TDR will be focusing on scenes from select gems of the silver screen.) The climactic scene from Day of the Triffids (Security Pictures, Inc. 1962): A meteorite storm somehow produces two nasty effects: It blinds everyone who looks at it and also unleashes the Triffids upon the now-helpless population. Triffids - killer plants that scuttled about the land killing folks. The climax of the movie takes place in a lighthouse on the coast where a small band of sighted people make a heroic last stand against the seemingly invincible Triffids! Matt, Matt, Matt, Moss, (nameless) and Mark play the remains of the human population; Abby, Al, Alan, Ali, Allison, Amanda and Anna play the wiley Triffids.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Seen a bunch of fire extinguishers lined up on the loading dock out back of work. Nobody around. I guess someone lost 'em. My how that would suck if a fella lost his entire collection of fire extinguishers. I have a pal who collects Thermoses (What the hell is the plural of Thermos? Thermoses? Doesn't look right.) He would be pretty bent outta shape if he lost his entire collection. It's really impressive, my pal's Thermos collection. I never knew that there were so many different kinds of Thermoses. (That's how I'm gonna spell the plural of Thermos. Don't care if it's right or wrong. Gotta make a decision and stick to it.) There are bigguns that'll hold a whole pot of coffee. There's wide-mouth ones that are great for soup. I wouldn't be surprised if there were ones you could make some delicious cheesy nachos in. I really really like nachos. I made 'em for dinner the other night. At long last I have found some chips that don't sog too badly - even in the micro-zapper. That there is the key to good nachos: crispy chips. You got crispy chips and cheese that ain't melted ... that sucks. You got bubblygooeystringy cheese and sog-city chips ... yer screwin' yerself there too. I've been wrestling with nacho-cooking techniques for damn near thirty years and I finally got it. Or at least got it the other night. Crispy chips and the perfect gloppy sticky everywhere cheese. For good measure I threw the taco meat I made last week on top, sprinkled on some chopped serranos, covered and let them nachos fend for themselves in a 350 degree oven for 12 big minutes. I should oughta had some friends over to share: Made a lot. Couldn't finish. Dang they were good. I wish I coulda saved some and brought 'em to work, but nachos don't got legs. They don't travel well. You gotta eat 'em right out of the oven or forget it. Now that I think about it ... the Thermos company would score a coup if they could build a nacho Thermos. Imagine that. On a roadtrip, you could have a coffee Thermos and a nacho Thermos. At the ballgame, nachos (and not those crappy ones with not-hot peppers and questionable "cheese" they sell along with hotdogs). We'll see. Maybe some day.
Tonight - Bender's Bar & Grill
(by request / *CASH ONLY*)
The news: Last week, a little bit after I published "Pucker Up!" I pulled the plug on sirius.com. Yeah, the timing was a bit strange, but they were bumming me out. They should have billed themselves as an ISSP: Internet Shitty-Service Provider. Yah, so, I registered this here little domain, therein-lies.com, and TNSC will live here from now on. I can do fancy little internet thingys from here. Like make a mail box: tnsc@therein-lies.com (not to be confused with linkey_loo@therein-lies.com (more on that later)). Stay tuned for more. With all that BS said, there's, uh, no one new to the list.
TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Jumprope contest. (For Coach)
TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: (For the next few weeks, the TNSC TDR will be focusing on scenes from select gems of the silver screen.) The climactic scene from Day of the Triffids (Security Pictures, Inc. 1962): A meteorite storm somehow produces two nasty effects: It blinds everyone who looks at it and also unleashes the Triffids upon the now-helpless population. Triffids - killer plants that scuttled about the land killing folks. The climax of the movie takes place in a lighthouse on the coast where a small band of sighted people make a heroic last stand against the seemingly invincible Triffids! Matt, Matt, Matt, Moss, (nameless) and Mark play the remains of the human population; Abby, Al, Alan, Ali, Allison, Amanda and Anna play the wiley Triffids.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, March 14, 2019
Do me baby! (REDUX)
3.2.2019 (first posted this week 2005)
That little monkey on my shoulder wears a fez. He wears a fez and says, "oooh oooh!"
I always answer that with, "Oh yeh, huh, little monkey-man?"
Monkey says, "oh oooh oooh, ee-ee!" Then he turns up his favorite music: Anything by Digital Underground.
I like Humpty, you ladies know him, oh how he likes to funk thee. And all you rappers in the Top Ten, please allow him to bump thee. He's like my monkey, he's really spunky and he really likes his oatmeal lumpy. But more about my monkey: You can meet him in person TONIGHT!
Tonight - St. Mary's Pub (Lent-appropriate!)
**CASH ONLY**
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
That little monkey on my shoulder wears a fez. He wears a fez and says, "oooh oooh!"
I always answer that with, "Oh yeh, huh, little monkey-man?"
Monkey says, "oh oooh oooh, ee-ee!" Then he turns up his favorite music: Anything by Digital Underground.
I like Humpty, you ladies know him, oh how he likes to funk thee. And all you rappers in the Top Ten, please allow him to bump thee. He's like my monkey, he's really spunky and he really likes his oatmeal lumpy. But more about my monkey: You can meet him in person TONIGHT!
Tonight - St. Mary's Pub (Lent-appropriate!)
**CASH ONLY**
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, March 07, 2019
Smoke the World (REDUX)
3.1.2019 (first posted this week 2009)
whrr ... clik!
The world's a mess, it's in my Venue Announcemt! Wow but Lee Lee the Musical Bee and I had a goooooood time at HOB on the Sunset Strip with our old pals Helmet and Fu Manchu last night! What were you puppies and kitties up to?
Go get bleu cheese-covered fries!
Tonight - Missio Bar.
Go get bleu cheese-covered fries!
Tonight - Missio Bar.
(**CASH ONLY**)
citysearch blows
bye-ee!
citysearch blows
whrr ... clik!
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