1.5.2020 (first posted this week 2003)
January, May, August and October 2003. Five Fridays in each month. That kinda rules. You know why? That means you can sleep off your Thursday night an extra day! Uh ... How 'bout ... An extra day to stay home and cool it after spending yr paycheck buying your lovely fellow List Members delish drinks the night before. I don't know. Here are some things I do know:
I got a robot-grade cold going on. I went over to the doc and he poked, prodded, and did all those humiliating tests. He literally scratched his head and said, "I don't know. Could be Ebola. You crash and bleed out yet?" I told him no. He got that look of sudden inspiration, grabbed me by the shoulders, shook me and said: "Have you been drinking regularly?" I said no. Because of the cold. He slapped me across the face, several times, and shrieked, "My god! You get to the bar and have a few RIGHT NOW!" Then he let me go, regained composure and said, "That'll fix you right up. Okay now. On your bike." And he ushered me out. So, ya see, "doctor's orders."
I also know that you better go see BOB LOG III at BotH this Sunday. He's a pal of mine since we were little robots. And he's an international superstar. Everyone I know is going, so that means you. Click the links. See the Log.
Then there's Tonight: The Homestead
A nice little joint to tell funny stories you've been unwilling to share. Also, a lot of requests for this venue. Why? Don't know. But, nevertheless, see you there!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, January 30, 2020
Thursday, January 23, 2020
No Con Leche (REDUX)
1.4.2020 (first posted this week 2003)
Invading Iraq, pirates versus pirates, earthquakes in Mexico ... what's missing from the news? I'll tell you what: Juan Valdez and that goat of his. They ought to be getting Team of the Year awards and it ought to be getting reported. That's right. Every so often I realize how goddamn important coffee is to me and I start thinking about man and beast working the hills of South America, bringing the bean home to me. I'd be up shit creek without the fruit of their toil. And with what's facing me work-wise, I'm gonna need a lot of it, starting right now.
I'll tell you the venue, shut the hell up, get a cuppa joe and get back to work.
Tonight - The Wooden Nickel (by request)
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Invading Iraq, pirates versus pirates, earthquakes in Mexico ... what's missing from the news? I'll tell you what: Juan Valdez and that goat of his. They ought to be getting Team of the Year awards and it ought to be getting reported. That's right. Every so often I realize how goddamn important coffee is to me and I start thinking about man and beast working the hills of South America, bringing the bean home to me. I'd be up shit creek without the fruit of their toil. And with what's facing me work-wise, I'm gonna need a lot of it, starting right now.
I'll tell you the venue, shut the hell up, get a cuppa joe and get back to work.
Tonight - The Wooden Nickel (by request)
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, January 16, 2020
Bad, bad girl (REDUX)
1.3.2020 (first posted this week 2001)
A few weeks ago I stumbled across an internet news item that talked about a bunch of monkeys that were hooked up to computers. These monkeys could do things -- over the internet -- with their thoughts alone! Some were manipulating robot hands, others were aiming around webcams. No keyboard (monkeys are poor typists), no mouse. Wires from their BRAINS to the computer. Fascinating stuff.
This article had a poll going. Something like: "Good idea or bad idea, letting monkeys do stuff with their BRAINS over the internet." I voted BAD IDEA! I don't know much about monkeys, but I do know that they're trouble! We start lettin' 'em loose on the internet with them wiley brains of theirs, who knows what hijinks they'll be up to. Scientific progress my butt. When them monkeys start launching missles or ordering pizzas or downloading porn with YOUR credit card you'll know what I'm hollerin' about.
Like I said, I read this article a few weeks back, so today I went back to the site to see any update. They had this link to a web-cam showing off some wired-up monkey in Chicago and the crap he was doing with his BRAIN here in San Francisco. Thinkin' "oh, I live in SF. I wonder what that little rascal is up to," I clicked on the link.
Tonight - Phone Booth
**CASH ONLY**
(Enter like a mere mortal...exit like SUPERMAN!!!)
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
A few weeks ago I stumbled across an internet news item that talked about a bunch of monkeys that were hooked up to computers. These monkeys could do things -- over the internet -- with their thoughts alone! Some were manipulating robot hands, others were aiming around webcams. No keyboard (monkeys are poor typists), no mouse. Wires from their BRAINS to the computer. Fascinating stuff.
This article had a poll going. Something like: "Good idea or bad idea, letting monkeys do stuff with their BRAINS over the internet." I voted BAD IDEA! I don't know much about monkeys, but I do know that they're trouble! We start lettin' 'em loose on the internet with them wiley brains of theirs, who knows what hijinks they'll be up to. Scientific progress my butt. When them monkeys start launching missles or ordering pizzas or downloading porn with YOUR credit card you'll know what I'm hollerin' about.
Like I said, I read this article a few weeks back, so today I went back to the site to see any update. They had this link to a web-cam showing off some wired-up monkey in Chicago and the crap he was doing with his BRAIN here in San Francisco. Thinkin' "oh, I live in SF. I wonder what that little rascal is up to," I clicked on the link.
Tonight - Phone Booth
**CASH ONLY**
(Enter like a mere mortal...exit like SUPERMAN!!!)
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, January 09, 2020
Here we go! (REDUX)
1.2.2020 (first posted this week 2002)
An obsession? Sort of. A hobby? Maybe. It’s a stretch, but maybe you could call it a hobby. It certainly falls in that gray area between obsession and hobby. I would guess there’s a point where every hobby crosses that border. I myownself have gone overboard with one or two hobby-like interests. One just gets a little too into it.
There was a time when I couldn’t get enough of the game Tetris. Before school, after work and well into the night, I’d be flipping around those blocks building and disintegrating that wall. Sure there was the typical high-score-related rivalry with my roommates, but it went beyond wanting to kick their asses like stepchildren. I liked the hypnotic effect of endlessly rotating the Tetris bits. I’d slip into a three-hour Tet-com (Tetris-Coma) that would seem like 15 minutes. It sure was a fun game to play, but not necessarily to watch. There wasn’t much to do. You could root for a “backwards L” to drop next or root against your highscore being defeated but that was about it. Mostly a bunch of BS and small talk. One hot topic of conversation while someone was getting their Tet on was the origin of the game. There was some bullshit story about the game originating in Russia or the USSR or some crap. I never bought it. The Reds could build nukes and pop corn and distill vitamin-V, but computer games?
“Yeh, but, what about them Kremlin-thingys on the box?” I didn’t have an answer for that except for: “Some package-design geek drew the Kremlin. They were probably listening to Sisters of Mercy when they were designing. That’s where the Russian influence starts and stops. Oh, and they were probably hungover from a Stoli binge.” One dill-hole said they knew for a fact that children used to play a version of the game a long time ago on the wind-swept, grassy steppes of Siberia. “Explain that one to me, brainiac. How do you play a practical version of Tetris. Scrabble translates to video game, so does hockey and deer hunting, but Tetris? You’re on crack.” He didn’t have any rebuttal, but he stuck to his guns. Idiot.
To be continued …
Tonight - Orbit Room
News: Well hell. 2002. I’m banking on this year being a lot better than its cousins – Y2K and 2K1. Those years seriously sucked. I’m grateful they’re behind us. Hope all had nice holidays, got everything you wanted and didn’t get food poisoning.
See ya all at the bar. Get there early, get there late, just get there. I spent Christmas Eve there. It’s nice. Bring yer pals. bye-ee!
Oh, and, remember ... "two thousand two." Not "two thousand and two." Don't piss me off.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
An obsession? Sort of. A hobby? Maybe. It’s a stretch, but maybe you could call it a hobby. It certainly falls in that gray area between obsession and hobby. I would guess there’s a point where every hobby crosses that border. I myownself have gone overboard with one or two hobby-like interests. One just gets a little too into it.
There was a time when I couldn’t get enough of the game Tetris. Before school, after work and well into the night, I’d be flipping around those blocks building and disintegrating that wall. Sure there was the typical high-score-related rivalry with my roommates, but it went beyond wanting to kick their asses like stepchildren. I liked the hypnotic effect of endlessly rotating the Tetris bits. I’d slip into a three-hour Tet-com (Tetris-Coma) that would seem like 15 minutes. It sure was a fun game to play, but not necessarily to watch. There wasn’t much to do. You could root for a “backwards L” to drop next or root against your highscore being defeated but that was about it. Mostly a bunch of BS and small talk. One hot topic of conversation while someone was getting their Tet on was the origin of the game. There was some bullshit story about the game originating in Russia or the USSR or some crap. I never bought it. The Reds could build nukes and pop corn and distill vitamin-V, but computer games?
“Yeh, but, what about them Kremlin-thingys on the box?” I didn’t have an answer for that except for: “Some package-design geek drew the Kremlin. They were probably listening to Sisters of Mercy when they were designing. That’s where the Russian influence starts and stops. Oh, and they were probably hungover from a Stoli binge.” One dill-hole said they knew for a fact that children used to play a version of the game a long time ago on the wind-swept, grassy steppes of Siberia. “Explain that one to me, brainiac. How do you play a practical version of Tetris. Scrabble translates to video game, so does hockey and deer hunting, but Tetris? You’re on crack.” He didn’t have any rebuttal, but he stuck to his guns. Idiot.
To be continued …
Tonight - Orbit Room
News: Well hell. 2002. I’m banking on this year being a lot better than its cousins – Y2K and 2K1. Those years seriously sucked. I’m grateful they’re behind us. Hope all had nice holidays, got everything you wanted and didn’t get food poisoning.
See ya all at the bar. Get there early, get there late, just get there. I spent Christmas Eve there. It’s nice. Bring yer pals. bye-ee!
Oh, and, remember ... "two thousand two." Not "two thousand and two." Don't piss me off.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, January 02, 2020
Perfect Vision
1.1.2020
Given the hectic holiday season, everyone's liver gets an extra week off.
See you next week!!
whrr ... clik!
Given the hectic holiday season, everyone's liver gets an extra week off.
See you next week!!
whrr ... clik!
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