Skeezix
4.2.2k2
What the hell is the deal with the Calvin and Hobbes? Why is it the artist couldn’t draw Hobbes to look the same from panel to panel? One minute he’s going nuts and jawing away with that little scoundrel Calvin, then the next he’s kinda lifeless: Mute and well, stuffed-looking. Like a taxidermist just got through with him. And what the hell kinda dog is he supposed to be anyway? He’s the wackiest looking dog I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen plenty.
The thing that’s got me thinking about Calvin and Hobbes in the first place is that I’ve been seeing that Calvin all over the place these days. Of course he’s all over the place doing the same thing: Peeing on things. Mostly he’s a stencil on some fella’s Ford, peeing on a Chevy logo. Fine. Calvin has a healthy disdain for Chevys. He chooses to show his contempt in a way befitting his rapscallionish nature, you ask me. That’s fine, Cal peeing on a Chevy logo, but down the block I see a Chevy truck, and who’s stenciled on the back window, peeing on a Ford logo? Cal! Has Cal jumped ship to the enemy, a la Jason Giambi? Maybe, maybe not. Later Cal is observed taking a whizz on a Honda logo, a Subaru logo, and a Toyota logo. He’s draining the main vein on a Dodge, letting fly on a Peterbuilt and watering a GMC. Okay, so the little scalawag hates all cars. Fine. So do I.
I’ve seen the Cal showing his feelings for more than just cars and trucks lately too. Cal doesn’t like the bin Laden, the Detroit RockCity Redwings or Kodak. Kodak? What the hell is that about? Someone got stock in FujiFilm? I haven’t, however, seen Cal peeing on a Chicago Cubs logo, or tonight’s venue:
Orbit Room
News: The Club hasn’t been to the Orbit in about a million years. It’s a crowd favorite! Also, I double-checked last week’s Venue Announcement and it said NOTHING about it being an ALL-MALE meeting. Yes, that’s right: Fifteen guys and not one gal. They were all nice guys but C”MON!
Last Week’s Contest Results: Alan correctly identified the reference as the SF PD’s non-emergency number. Mr. D. Hindley also found the reference and noted how “expletively easy” the contest was. As you can see, Mr. Hindley, the contest must be made easy at times for some contestants (think “A.C.”) to win.
Tonight's Contest: Find the Reference!
Tonight’s Singled-Out List Member: Bob Morrow. He’s new to the list and he drinks. A lot. Why not single him out?
Tonight’s Dramatic Reenactment: Coppertone. Suntan glop. You know it, I’m sure, if you’ve ever been anywhere outside SF where you can get some sun. Well there’s a little picture on the bottle of a little girl sunbather holding a bottle of Coppertone. She’s in some distress because there’s a mangy dog about to tear here swimtrunk bottoms off for her. Scandal on the Beach!! Our players: Ced plays the little girl; Tama plays the bottle of Coppertone, Alan plays the bad dog and (nameless) plays the swimtrunks.
Porn Title of the Week: The Slutty Professor
Yeh, well, like I said, lots of guys at the venue last week. Let’s see what we, as a group, can do about that. Lastly, it seems that whenever I say “Go Team” to my favorite team as they start their playoff run they inevitably get smoked. So I won’t say anything about the Chicago Blackhawks. Last one to Orbit buys me a Poker Face. See you there! bye-ee!
Thursday, April 11, 2002
Thursday, April 04, 2002
Sorry Folks ...
4.1.2k2
There ain't no official TNSC Venue Announcement today. The moose up at the front should have told you. Seems Robot had to make a choice of seeing Panic Room or writing the Venue Announcement last night and Jodie Foster won.
Meantime: Specs
See you there. Bring your Mooses. (??) bye-ee!
4.1.2k2
There ain't no official TNSC Venue Announcement today. The moose up at the front should have told you. Seems Robot had to make a choice of seeing Panic Room or writing the Venue Announcement last night and Jodie Foster won.
Meantime: Specs
See you there. Bring your Mooses. (??) bye-ee!
Thursday, March 21, 2002
Traffic
3.3.2k2
Have you ever done the equivalent of walking out of a bad movie with a book? Stopping reading – maybe mid-sentence – and closing the cover for good? I got one going right now that I’m seriously considering jettisoning. There are several factors involved in this pending no-confidence vote.
First, the book is supposed to be a horror novel. So scary, in fact, that author felt no name other than Ghost Story could better suit it. I’m two hundred pages in (roughly a third of the total) and there ain’t been anything spooky, scary or psychologically frightening. I’m waiting for a payoff. The title says something about ghosts. Where are the frikkin’ ghosts?
I went to see a movie a long time ago. I saw Sex, Lies and Videotape in the theater. I heard it was a good movie, so some friends and I went. I didn’t expect it to be porn, though, like some jock-type losers sitting near us did. Minor fidgeting, bored derisive catcalling and finally a loud exodus spoke to their movie review. We laughed at them as they walked out saying, loudly: “This sucks! Where’s the fucking tits? This is stupid! You fucking perverts!” Those National Merit Scholars saw the words “sex” and “videotape” and thought hardcore. A swing and a miss. I saw the words “ghost” and “story” and I thought horror novel. Is that a wrong conclusion?
Another thing that bugs me about the book so far is the author’s style. His style is nothing less than pompous. He goes into intense detail to show off his word-smithery.
His verbosity detracts from the mood: Three pages of detail of the spooky forest – detail down to the dreadful patterns of the spiderwebs and haunted slugslime trails. Ugh. It smacks of bad poetry.
Lastly, and somewhat related to my last point, some of the words this guy uses are nothing short of arcane: bonhomie, signeurial and pettifogging. I have a pretty deep lexicon and I love to learn new words but I don’t like it when a word like bonhomie derails the narrative train. Further, I don’t care to learn words that I’ll never use myself. I might think it, but I’ll never say, “What I like most about that John Volny is his bonhomie.”
I’m giving the story another hundred pages to get better or it gets the hook. I got The Sun Also Rises in the queue and it waits for no man.
Tonight: 7/11
News: Last week’s meeting at Argus sure was fun. People asked how we chose such a great venue (Thanks Raub), they wondered why we hadn’t been there before (don’t know), they asked if we could go back again (why not), and most spectacularly, there was a sizeable female turnout! As I mentioned, TNSC had started to resemble a boy’s club, but last week was no indication of that. Therefore, tonight’s venue has been scientifically chosen to promote attendance: It offers easy access via streetcars, busses, cabs and even light rail.
Tonight's Contest: Find the Reference!
Tonight’s Singled-Out List Members: Lori Joseph
Porn Title of the Week: Fortune Nookie
Stay tuned for announcements for the TNSC Croquet Tournament. It will be happening in a few weeks. Meantime, come on down to the venue tonight. Bring your friends. I know I will. See you there! bye-ee!
3.3.2k2
Have you ever done the equivalent of walking out of a bad movie with a book? Stopping reading – maybe mid-sentence – and closing the cover for good? I got one going right now that I’m seriously considering jettisoning. There are several factors involved in this pending no-confidence vote.
First, the book is supposed to be a horror novel. So scary, in fact, that author felt no name other than Ghost Story could better suit it. I’m two hundred pages in (roughly a third of the total) and there ain’t been anything spooky, scary or psychologically frightening. I’m waiting for a payoff. The title says something about ghosts. Where are the frikkin’ ghosts?
I went to see a movie a long time ago. I saw Sex, Lies and Videotape in the theater. I heard it was a good movie, so some friends and I went. I didn’t expect it to be porn, though, like some jock-type losers sitting near us did. Minor fidgeting, bored derisive catcalling and finally a loud exodus spoke to their movie review. We laughed at them as they walked out saying, loudly: “This sucks! Where’s the fucking tits? This is stupid! You fucking perverts!” Those National Merit Scholars saw the words “sex” and “videotape” and thought hardcore. A swing and a miss. I saw the words “ghost” and “story” and I thought horror novel. Is that a wrong conclusion?
Another thing that bugs me about the book so far is the author’s style. His style is nothing less than pompous. He goes into intense detail to show off his word-smithery.
His verbosity detracts from the mood: Three pages of detail of the spooky forest – detail down to the dreadful patterns of the spiderwebs and haunted slugslime trails. Ugh. It smacks of bad poetry.
Lastly, and somewhat related to my last point, some of the words this guy uses are nothing short of arcane: bonhomie, signeurial and pettifogging. I have a pretty deep lexicon and I love to learn new words but I don’t like it when a word like bonhomie derails the narrative train. Further, I don’t care to learn words that I’ll never use myself. I might think it, but I’ll never say, “What I like most about that John Volny is his bonhomie.”
I’m giving the story another hundred pages to get better or it gets the hook. I got The Sun Also Rises in the queue and it waits for no man.
Tonight: 7/11
News: Last week’s meeting at Argus sure was fun. People asked how we chose such a great venue (Thanks Raub), they wondered why we hadn’t been there before (don’t know), they asked if we could go back again (why not), and most spectacularly, there was a sizeable female turnout! As I mentioned, TNSC had started to resemble a boy’s club, but last week was no indication of that. Therefore, tonight’s venue has been scientifically chosen to promote attendance: It offers easy access via streetcars, busses, cabs and even light rail.
Tonight's Contest: Find the Reference!
Tonight’s Singled-Out List Members: Lori Joseph
Porn Title of the Week: Fortune Nookie
Stay tuned for announcements for the TNSC Croquet Tournament. It will be happening in a few weeks. Meantime, come on down to the venue tonight. Bring your friends. I know I will. See you there! bye-ee!
Thursday, March 14, 2002
Phoenix, AZ
3.2.2k2
ISP stories.
I got a letter the other day from Goober and Grape Bankruptcy Services. I normally shred junkmail without a second thought, but I was curious as to what all this bankruptcy was about. It seems that the bigshot ISP 1st World dot com, which acquired my old internet service provider, Sirius dot com, filed for chapter 11 and is going down. Or has gone down. I’ll tell you this, people: The fact that that company is belly-up comes as no surprise to this former customer. Sirius dot com’s service was a steamin’ pile and it only got worse when the big boy gobbled it up. It became a GIANT steamin’ pile with peanuts. Their ho-hum technical support, various service outages and assorted billing fiascos prompted the move to host my own site. That brings us to the recent events.
I’ve seen TV commercials for the telecom giant that acquired my current ISP. The spots go like this: A chic-looking lady walks into a bookstore somewhere in the Nevada desert and asks for an obscure book on philosophy. The scruffy-lookin’, MadMax-esque shopkeeper doesn’t miss a beat and asks what dialect she wants the text in. Dumbfounded she asks how it’s possible for this itty-bitty shop in the middle of nowhere has “every work ever published by anyone anywhere anytime.” Then the VO says’ “You want yer company to have this kinda bandwidth?” That’s about the time that I start puking. That’s a pretty tall claim? Isn’t it? They have another spot where a smartass guy is asking his Bates Motel clerk for a rare movie and the smarter-ass Norman Bates asks if he wants the TV edit or the director’s cut or the Soviet Government’s censored version. Again, Norm has every version of every movie ever bla bla bla. Picture me spewing forth beef-like chunks about now.
This makes me sick because it just ain’t possible. How they can advertise services that just ain’t possible is a mystery to me. Remember that one where a dude forgets his speech and his secretary across the country reads it to him as he’s at the podium? The secretary is in full-color 30fps video? On a plam pilot? BULLSHIT! How are they allowed to make these claims? With the disclaimer: All this shit you just seen ain’t really available now but we anticipate it will be some time in the future with the way our tech is kicking ass. Ugh. Chevy starts advertising flying cars and I’m burning down my TV.
Back to the subject: My ISP. If you guessed that one of the companies that makes those grandiose claims just merged with my ISP, resulting in much confusion, lost data and inaccessible accounts in recent weeks, you’re right. It makes me wonder how they think they’ll be able to serve up “any movie ever produced” if they can’t move its users’ data around without major problems. The real kick in the nuts is that I’m paying for all this “service.”
Tonight: Argus
News: Yeh, well the TNSC site is running on upgraded hardware, software and service. You can tell right away, can’t ya? Being offline for a week kinda tells you something, right? Aw, hell. Another note: Founding members are wondering why only male list members are choosing to go to meetings lately. Aside from Smith, Kay, Alaina and (nameless) no women have been attending lately. What gives? Better offers?
Tonight’s Singled-Out List Members: (your name here)
Porn Title of the Week: Mechanic on Booty (Thanks T!)
The TNSC has never ever been to tonight’s destination. Show up and help us break it in. Bring your friends. I know I will. See you there! bye-ee!
3.2.2k2
ISP stories.
I got a letter the other day from Goober and Grape Bankruptcy Services. I normally shred junkmail without a second thought, but I was curious as to what all this bankruptcy was about. It seems that the bigshot ISP 1st World dot com, which acquired my old internet service provider, Sirius dot com, filed for chapter 11 and is going down. Or has gone down. I’ll tell you this, people: The fact that that company is belly-up comes as no surprise to this former customer. Sirius dot com’s service was a steamin’ pile and it only got worse when the big boy gobbled it up. It became a GIANT steamin’ pile with peanuts. Their ho-hum technical support, various service outages and assorted billing fiascos prompted the move to host my own site. That brings us to the recent events.
I’ve seen TV commercials for the telecom giant that acquired my current ISP. The spots go like this: A chic-looking lady walks into a bookstore somewhere in the Nevada desert and asks for an obscure book on philosophy. The scruffy-lookin’, MadMax-esque shopkeeper doesn’t miss a beat and asks what dialect she wants the text in. Dumbfounded she asks how it’s possible for this itty-bitty shop in the middle of nowhere has “every work ever published by anyone anywhere anytime.” Then the VO says’ “You want yer company to have this kinda bandwidth?” That’s about the time that I start puking. That’s a pretty tall claim? Isn’t it? They have another spot where a smartass guy is asking his Bates Motel clerk for a rare movie and the smarter-ass Norman Bates asks if he wants the TV edit or the director’s cut or the Soviet Government’s censored version. Again, Norm has every version of every movie ever bla bla bla. Picture me spewing forth beef-like chunks about now.
This makes me sick because it just ain’t possible. How they can advertise services that just ain’t possible is a mystery to me. Remember that one where a dude forgets his speech and his secretary across the country reads it to him as he’s at the podium? The secretary is in full-color 30fps video? On a plam pilot? BULLSHIT! How are they allowed to make these claims? With the disclaimer: All this shit you just seen ain’t really available now but we anticipate it will be some time in the future with the way our tech is kicking ass. Ugh. Chevy starts advertising flying cars and I’m burning down my TV.
Back to the subject: My ISP. If you guessed that one of the companies that makes those grandiose claims just merged with my ISP, resulting in much confusion, lost data and inaccessible accounts in recent weeks, you’re right. It makes me wonder how they think they’ll be able to serve up “any movie ever produced” if they can’t move its users’ data around without major problems. The real kick in the nuts is that I’m paying for all this “service.”
Tonight: Argus
News: Yeh, well the TNSC site is running on upgraded hardware, software and service. You can tell right away, can’t ya? Being offline for a week kinda tells you something, right? Aw, hell. Another note: Founding members are wondering why only male list members are choosing to go to meetings lately. Aside from Smith, Kay, Alaina and (nameless) no women have been attending lately. What gives? Better offers?
Tonight’s Singled-Out List Members: (your name here)
Porn Title of the Week: Mechanic on Booty (Thanks T!)
The TNSC has never ever been to tonight’s destination. Show up and help us break it in. Bring your friends. I know I will. See you there! bye-ee!
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