Def Leppard

12.1.2k

All things considered, I suppose I'm a bit of a kleptomaniac; I love fire. I was ... wait. Kleptomaniac? It's not kleptomaniac. Nymphomaniac. That's it. Nympho- ... what the hell is going here? It's not klepto, it's not nympho. It's ... dang it ... I can't think what ... whataminute! I got it! PYROMANIAC! P-Y-R-O-M-A-N-I-A-C. Right! I'm a bit of a PYRO-maniac because I love fire. I don't like setting things on fire, mind you, (except for a pyramid of Kingsford briquettes!) but I'm fascinated by the sight of "all things ablaze!" Alan was just staring out the window and I looked where he was looking. Some dude across the street had a torch and he was dicking around with roof tar. Spittin' fire, burnin' tar, outside, beautiful morning – what a life! I sure would like a job that had somethin' to do with fire other than corny names for special effects software from Canada. I would love it if we could have a fire in a 55 gallon oil barrel and have it out by the coffee machine. Think about it: Wake up, ride to work, get a coffee and stand around the flaming barrel jawing with coworkers. Sounds pretty sweet. The only thing better would be: Sleep in, stay home, drink a pot of coffee and do nothing until you're damn good and ready. And when you're damn good and ready, why not go here tonight:

Attic Club
3336 24th St, San Francisco, CA 94110
(415) 643-3376

No news this week. So quiet. What are y'all up to?

TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Cooperation Contest. This will be difficult to win because no one cares to cooperate these days. Teams of at least two.

TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: It's December 7th, so guess what's going to be reenacted? You're right! December 7th, 1987: Mikhail Gorbachev arrives in United States for summit with Ronald Reagan! "Despite protests in Washington concerning Soviet human rights abuses, most Americans get swept up in "Gorbymania" as Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev arrives for his summit with President Ronald Reagan. Gorbachev and his wife, Raisa, charmed the American public and media by praising the United States and calling for closer relations between the Soviet Union and America." (Stole that description from historychannel.com) Our players: Lori K. is Gorby; Jim Rose is Reagan; Gareth is Raisa; Bishop, Chef, Jimi and Carl are human rights abuse protesters; John Metsker and Todd are Secret Service dudes; and the remaining List Members are a bunch of "Gorbymaniacs!"

TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: Amy Shuba. Where the hell is Amy Shuba? She missed her "Honorary Founding Member" ceremony last week. The ostriches alone cost a small fortune.

Has anybody had any success with spot removers? Like that DiDi 7 crap? Lemme know 'cause I got something on my T-shirt.

Stop what you're doing tonight, grab your sexaholic-thief-firebug pals and haul ass over to the Attic Club. You'll find a bunch of folks talking about STEALING, SEX and FIRE! I know I will. See you there! bye-ee!