Scratch and Sniff
2.4.2k1
I've felt the overwhelming need to take things apart lately. I started with my bike. I took the wheels off, the chain off, the brakes off. The handlebars, shifters, derailleurs, seat assembly, bottom bracket, and cog set I rendered to pieces. Let me tell you this: the modern mountain bike is an intricate, multi-faceted machine. When I was done prying, unscrewing and dissassembling I stood in evidence of hundreds of bits and pieces. I had to do something with it all so I cleaned it. I use a citrus degreaser that you might imagine smells like oranges and lemons. With a kick. A distinctly inflammable kick. While standing at kitchen sink scrubbing gears and such, I began to detect some subtlties of the degreaser's odor. The manufacturer certainly used valencia oranges. I eat a lot of them and they smell (and taste) sweeter than other varieties, like the temple or navel. In addition, the smell of ruby red grapefruit and honeybell tangelos was present. My olfactory sense must have been heightened that day because the scent of kumquat, as minute as it was, was certainly there. I did a quick catalog of the genus citrus ... something was missing from the brew. They had kumquats in there fer chrissakes, what would they leave out? The fumes may have been getting to me but I was sure something was missing. Not from the degreaser, mind you, it is a fabulous product that cleans up Chuck (my bike) like a dream. No ... no ... something was missing from my inventory. It suddenly hit me like a fifth of Beam: Limes! Where were the limes? Why would they be left out? How could they be left out? My god ... limes are one of the best things on the planet right now. Believe me.
(The) El Bobo
1539 Folsom St, San Francisco,94103
(415) 861-6822
News items of interest or non-interest: Thanks to Moss for pinch-hitting the TNSC VA last week. I hear a good time was had by all. Bonus points for list members who took public trans. I was at 33,000 feet or you bet I'da been there. Sue Erokan provides a new email address. Loretta provides a name change. Some folks not on the list anymore. It's okay, though, they never came to meetings. When we gettin' Kev back? A while back I mentioned that the location of these web pages will change soon. Well, hold your breath 'cause it's real soon now. I'll tell ya next week or something.
TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Go Fish! marathon.
TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: The fight between Jimmy Relford and Claude Tucker, ages 11 and 9 respectively, on the playground at Colberth Elementary school in Madison County, Georgia. A full half-year of "Tucker Tucker Tucker is a fucker fucker fucker" culminated in numerous punches to the nose and eye of young Relford by the younger Tucker. Relford tried to fight back with a sweeping kick to Tucker's stomach, but the nine-year old was a dynamo. It took Mr. Prints, the shop teacher, and Mrs. Swindell, the principal, to separate the youths. It was a small victory in the war against name-based harassment, and Claude Tucker enjoyed the fruits of his victory: Jimmy Relford bloodied and humiliated and a cool week off school (or "suspension" if you want to get technical.) Players: Sally Carter plays Claude and Clova plays Jimmy. Bobo plays the shop teacher and Teensy plays the principal.
TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: Raub Shapiro.
Lemme get this straight: A fella can eat huevos and queso and tocino and carne asada all week and LOSE three pounds? I think I should oughta move al sur de l’mite.
If you've got plans tonight CANCEL THEM! Come to TNSC and see for yourself the fun that can be had on a rainy night south of Market. Bring your pals. I know I will. See you there! bye-ee!
Thursday, February 22, 2001
Thursday, February 08, 2001
Pledge Drive!
2.2.2k1
"Hi again everybody. Julie C. here for the ... Tee ... En ... Ess See pledge-a-thon. We're hoping to get ... uh ... "
"Hi folks. It's A.C. My lovely wife and I are here for the first annual Thursday Night Social Club pledge-a-palooza. It's her first time running the show so she's a little nervous. I'm sure she'll warm up in a minute or two, but until then, let me tell you why we here at the Thursday Night Social Club need your support. The TNSC, unlike most organizations of its kind, exists only through the patronage of you, its members. There's no sponsorship. There's no financier. There is but a collection of friendly folks who like to go to bars and talk and have fun and eat really late and sometimes feel like they've been hit by a truck the next day. They don't necessarily like feeling like they've been hit by a truck, that's just a "calculated risk ..."
"He's rambling folks. It's Julie again. I feel better now. We would really love it if you would pledge your support to the Thursday Night Social Club. It's really easy and here's how: Come to the venue tonight. It's that simple. Come out and see your fellow Thursday Night Social Club members at tonight's venue."
"That's right. It's you - you the Thursday Night Social Club member that makes it all possible. You come out, you talk, you listen, you gossip ... that's the spirit of the Thursday Night Social Club. Heck. I don't know of anything better. Do you know of anything at all better Julie?"
"Nope. I sure don't A.C. I don't know of anything even remotely better than a bunch of pals getting together and having fun at a regular meeting of the Thursday Night Social Club."
"You know, the Founding Members have come up with some incentives to ... uh ... "sweeten the pot." Your pledge of support will get you some really great Thursday Night Social Club schwag. Am I right?"
"Of course you're right. The Thursday Night Social Club goodies are great! They're good and great! Ha Ha! They're goodies that are great! They're Thursday Night Social Club great goodies ..."
"Geez, dude. Pull it together! Tell them what the Thursday Night Social Club incentives are."
"Right! Right right right. We here at the Thursday Night Social Club have put together some really great thingys - "
"A.C.!"
"Yes! For your pledge of support tonight, in return you will get: Some thrilling conversation!"
"That's right. Your Thursday Night Social Club pledge will get you some thoughtful, insightful, meaningful conversation with Thursday Night Social Club list members just like you."
"Ahh that's wonderful. You know, some of the most interesting things I've ever learned, I learned from Thursday Night Social Club list members."
"I know, I know. Me too. Ha ha. Oh that time we all talked about the Ninjas and the Velociraptors. Boy that was a hoot."
"Yes. Enthralling. But that's not the only thing a pledge to the Thursday Night Social Club will get you, is it A.C.?"
"Oh no. That's not nearly all. Your pledge of support to the Thursday Night Social Club - you attend the meetings - and you'll receive - every week - the TNSC Venue Announcement!"
"Sometimes funny, often stupid, always irreverent, the Thursday Night Social Club Venue Announcement will be delivered to you every week. For a mere pledge of support to the Thursday Night Social Club."
"You know Julie, I heard that every single thing reported in the Thursday Night Social Club Venue Announcement is 100% true."
"Oh, I don't know ... "
"That's what I heard and I believe it."
"Anyway, true or not, you might just find you enjoy the Thursday Night Social Club Venue Announcement and it's yours for a pledge of support."
"Hey Julie?"
"Yes, A.C.?"
"I got more Thursday Night Social Club schwag for the folks that pledge their support."
"Well by all means, cough it up! Ahora mismo!"
"What?"
"Right now!"
"Okay, well, your pledge of support to the Thursday Night Social Club will get you this exciting bonus incentive: Every week, at every meeting, you'll have the chance to buy a fellow list member a drink!"
"And what goes along with that, A.C.?"
"Duh ... Oh yeah! Along with the chance to buy a fellow list member a drink that you'll get with your pledge of support to the Thursday Night Social Club, you'll also have the opportunity to have a drink bought for you by a fellow list member!"
"That's right! With your pledge of support to the Thursday Night Social Club and their pledge of support to the Thursday Night Social Club, you can buy them a drink and they can buy you a drink!"
"Wow. That's some pretty neat stuff."
"I think so too."
"Right. So why not take the time to pledge your support to the Thursday Night Social Club. Why not tonight?"
"We'll let you get back to your normal routine now, but please help to support the Thursday Night Social Club."
"That's right. So long for now, and thank you in advance for your support of the Thursday Night Social Club."
Eagle's Drift In
527 Bryant St San Francisco 94107
(415) 495-4527
The frikkin' pledge drive took up all the time today. Go to the Drift-In. I know I will. See you there! bye-ee!
2.2.2k1
"Hi again everybody. Julie C. here for the ... Tee ... En ... Ess See pledge-a-thon. We're hoping to get ... uh ... "
"Hi folks. It's A.C. My lovely wife and I are here for the first annual Thursday Night Social Club pledge-a-palooza. It's her first time running the show so she's a little nervous. I'm sure she'll warm up in a minute or two, but until then, let me tell you why we here at the Thursday Night Social Club need your support. The TNSC, unlike most organizations of its kind, exists only through the patronage of you, its members. There's no sponsorship. There's no financier. There is but a collection of friendly folks who like to go to bars and talk and have fun and eat really late and sometimes feel like they've been hit by a truck the next day. They don't necessarily like feeling like they've been hit by a truck, that's just a "calculated risk ..."
"He's rambling folks. It's Julie again. I feel better now. We would really love it if you would pledge your support to the Thursday Night Social Club. It's really easy and here's how: Come to the venue tonight. It's that simple. Come out and see your fellow Thursday Night Social Club members at tonight's venue."
"That's right. It's you - you the Thursday Night Social Club member that makes it all possible. You come out, you talk, you listen, you gossip ... that's the spirit of the Thursday Night Social Club. Heck. I don't know of anything better. Do you know of anything at all better Julie?"
"Nope. I sure don't A.C. I don't know of anything even remotely better than a bunch of pals getting together and having fun at a regular meeting of the Thursday Night Social Club."
"You know, the Founding Members have come up with some incentives to ... uh ... "sweeten the pot." Your pledge of support will get you some really great Thursday Night Social Club schwag. Am I right?"
"Of course you're right. The Thursday Night Social Club goodies are great! They're good and great! Ha Ha! They're goodies that are great! They're Thursday Night Social Club great goodies ..."
"Geez, dude. Pull it together! Tell them what the Thursday Night Social Club incentives are."
"Right! Right right right. We here at the Thursday Night Social Club have put together some really great thingys - "
"A.C.!"
"Yes! For your pledge of support tonight, in return you will get: Some thrilling conversation!"
"That's right. Your Thursday Night Social Club pledge will get you some thoughtful, insightful, meaningful conversation with Thursday Night Social Club list members just like you."
"Ahh that's wonderful. You know, some of the most interesting things I've ever learned, I learned from Thursday Night Social Club list members."
"I know, I know. Me too. Ha ha. Oh that time we all talked about the Ninjas and the Velociraptors. Boy that was a hoot."
"Yes. Enthralling. But that's not the only thing a pledge to the Thursday Night Social Club will get you, is it A.C.?"
"Oh no. That's not nearly all. Your pledge of support to the Thursday Night Social Club - you attend the meetings - and you'll receive - every week - the TNSC Venue Announcement!"
"Sometimes funny, often stupid, always irreverent, the Thursday Night Social Club Venue Announcement will be delivered to you every week. For a mere pledge of support to the Thursday Night Social Club."
"You know Julie, I heard that every single thing reported in the Thursday Night Social Club Venue Announcement is 100% true."
"Oh, I don't know ... "
"That's what I heard and I believe it."
"Anyway, true or not, you might just find you enjoy the Thursday Night Social Club Venue Announcement and it's yours for a pledge of support."
"Hey Julie?"
"Yes, A.C.?"
"I got more Thursday Night Social Club schwag for the folks that pledge their support."
"Well by all means, cough it up! Ahora mismo!"
"What?"
"Right now!"
"Okay, well, your pledge of support to the Thursday Night Social Club will get you this exciting bonus incentive: Every week, at every meeting, you'll have the chance to buy a fellow list member a drink!"
"And what goes along with that, A.C.?"
"Duh ... Oh yeah! Along with the chance to buy a fellow list member a drink that you'll get with your pledge of support to the Thursday Night Social Club, you'll also have the opportunity to have a drink bought for you by a fellow list member!"
"That's right! With your pledge of support to the Thursday Night Social Club and their pledge of support to the Thursday Night Social Club, you can buy them a drink and they can buy you a drink!"
"Wow. That's some pretty neat stuff."
"I think so too."
"Right. So why not take the time to pledge your support to the Thursday Night Social Club. Why not tonight?"
"We'll let you get back to your normal routine now, but please help to support the Thursday Night Social Club."
"That's right. So long for now, and thank you in advance for your support of the Thursday Night Social Club."
Eagle's Drift In
527 Bryant St San Francisco 94107
(415) 495-4527
The frikkin' pledge drive took up all the time today. Go to the Drift-In. I know I will. See you there! bye-ee!
Thursday, February 01, 2001
Bloated.
2.1.2k1
I've been overrun by crappy music lately. I've been ice skating a lot; once or twice a week. For some reason, the folks at the rink insist on playing oh-so-god-awful music over the loudspeakers. Stuff like "Walk like Mr. Egyptian," "Bang the Warrior," "Only the Lonely Can Play" (I used to sing "get laid" instead of "can play." Ha ha.) In all honesty, though, I sorta liked that "Only the Lonely" song way back when. It was by the Motels. I thought they had a cool band name. Even though I can't play a note on any instrument and I'd be hard-pressed to hold a guitar properly I always thought it'd be cool to have a band. Most folks'll start a band by, y'know, learning how to sing or play the drums or something. I figured that a good start would be finding a cool name. Some reason I liked the Motels' choice for a name. Kinda corny, but kinda sexy too. Oh well. They had another hit aside from "Only the Lonely." Anyone know what it was? Yeah, so, the rink's speakers are pumping out this crap. I'm hearing stuff I'd prefer not to hear again. 38 Special. Seger. Anything by Journey. Where the heck they find this shtuff? I didn't go killcrazy because they'd pepper that shit sandwich of a playlist with gems like Leppard, Quiet Riot and Gary Numan. Gary Numan? Man. That was some good stuff. I dug out a cassette with "Are Friends Electric?" on it. That song kinda rules. All this reminds me of this time - a while back - in '77 when my family was on vacation in upstate New York and we were skating at this outdoor rink during the day and they too were playing crap. I remember I was just about to hurl because prolonged exposure to bad music made me boot back then too when all of a sudden they threw on that disco version of the Star Wars soundtrack. They had samples of the C3PO and the R2D2 and everything. It was inspirational skating music. I skated as hard and as fast as a little fella could. Ya think all the music that's played at the rinks around the globe's inspirational to at least one person? Nahhh! I defy you to find someone inspired by "Arthur's Theme."
For drinking pleasure, join the TNSC at:
The Lush Lounge, corner of Post & Polk, SF
Joining the list tonight are Naomi and Rebecca. Say "hey" to Naomi and Rebecca at the venue tonight and buy them a drink. Jer's new roommate and her sister would be on the list, but they didn't cough up their email addresses. At press time, Chef has not divulged Heather's email address and she's outta luck too. Fear not: They'll soon be on the list.
TONIGHT'S CONTEST: "Bite The Big One" Contest. (Thanks for the suggestion, Teensy.)
TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: This cool dream I had a while back. I was at lunch with Robert Plant and this weird little waiter with an eyepatch and a limp kept giving us drinks that we didn't order. There was an old-fashioned bomb with a lit fuse for the table lamp. (Editor's Note: This super-lame reenactment is the result of the funding cuts levelled on the TNSC TonDramReen Foundation by the new Administration. It is this editor's opinion that this is but the beginning.)
TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: The aforementioned Jeremy Johnson. That sucker is back in town fer good this time. He blew into town last night with a truckload of stuff that didn't get moved into my apartment, so I figure he's serious. Welcome back!
"Wiplash" by Metallica is a good inspirational skating song. I'm not sure why they don't play that one. Come out to the bar tonight and see your pals, new and old. I know I will. See you there! bye-ee!
Here we go!
2.1.2k1
I've been overrun by crappy music lately. I've been ice skating a lot; once or twice a week. For some reason, the folks at the rink insist on playing oh-so-god-awful music over the loudspeakers. Stuff like "Walk like Mr. Egyptian," "Bang the Warrior," "Only the Lonely Can Play" (I used to sing "get laid" instead of "can play." Ha ha.) In all honesty, though, I sorta liked that "Only the Lonely" song way back when. It was by the Motels. I thought they had a cool band name. Even though I can't play a note on any instrument and I'd be hard-pressed to hold a guitar properly I always thought it'd be cool to have a band. Most folks'll start a band by, y'know, learning how to sing or play the drums or something. I figured that a good start would be finding a cool name. Some reason I liked the Motels' choice for a name. Kinda corny, but kinda sexy too. Oh well. They had another hit aside from "Only the Lonely." Anyone know what it was? Yeah, so, the rink's speakers are pumping out this crap. I'm hearing stuff I'd prefer not to hear again. 38 Special. Seger. Anything by Journey. Where the heck they find this shtuff? I didn't go killcrazy because they'd pepper that shit sandwich of a playlist with gems like Leppard, Quiet Riot and Gary Numan. Gary Numan? Man. That was some good stuff. I dug out a cassette with "Are Friends Electric?" on it. That song kinda rules. All this reminds me of this time - a while back - in '77 when my family was on vacation in upstate New York and we were skating at this outdoor rink during the day and they too were playing crap. I remember I was just about to hurl because prolonged exposure to bad music made me boot back then too when all of a sudden they threw on that disco version of the Star Wars soundtrack. They had samples of the C3PO and the R2D2 and everything. It was inspirational skating music. I skated as hard and as fast as a little fella could. Ya think all the music that's played at the rinks around the globe's inspirational to at least one person? Nahhh! I defy you to find someone inspired by "Arthur's Theme."
For drinking pleasure, join the TNSC at:
The Lush Lounge, corner of Post & Polk, SF
Joining the list tonight are Naomi and Rebecca. Say "hey" to Naomi and Rebecca at the venue tonight and buy them a drink. Jer's new roommate and her sister would be on the list, but they didn't cough up their email addresses. At press time, Chef has not divulged Heather's email address and she's outta luck too. Fear not: They'll soon be on the list.
TONIGHT'S CONTEST: "Bite The Big One" Contest. (Thanks for the suggestion, Teensy.)
TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: This cool dream I had a while back. I was at lunch with Robert Plant and this weird little waiter with an eyepatch and a limp kept giving us drinks that we didn't order. There was an old-fashioned bomb with a lit fuse for the table lamp. (Editor's Note: This super-lame reenactment is the result of the funding cuts levelled on the TNSC TonDramReen Foundation by the new Administration. It is this editor's opinion that this is but the beginning.)
TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: The aforementioned Jeremy Johnson. That sucker is back in town fer good this time. He blew into town last night with a truckload of stuff that didn't get moved into my apartment, so I figure he's serious. Welcome back!
"Wiplash" by Metallica is a good inspirational skating song. I'm not sure why they don't play that one. Come out to the bar tonight and see your pals, new and old. I know I will. See you there! bye-ee!
Here we go!
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