Bloated.

2.1.2k1

I've been overrun by crappy music lately. I've been ice skating a lot; once or twice a week. For some reason, the folks at the rink insist on playing oh-so-god-awful music over the loudspeakers. Stuff like "Walk like Mr. Egyptian," "Bang the Warrior," "Only the Lonely Can Play" (I used to sing "get laid" instead of "can play." Ha ha.) In all honesty, though, I sorta liked that "Only the Lonely" song way back when. It was by the Motels. I thought they had a cool band name. Even though I can't play a note on any instrument and I'd be hard-pressed to hold a guitar properly I always thought it'd be cool to have a band. Most folks'll start a band by, y'know, learning how to sing or play the drums or something. I figured that a good start would be finding a cool name. Some reason I liked the Motels' choice for a name. Kinda corny, but kinda sexy too. Oh well. They had another hit aside from "Only the Lonely." Anyone know what it was? Yeah, so, the rink's speakers are pumping out this crap. I'm hearing stuff I'd prefer not to hear again. 38 Special. Seger. Anything by Journey. Where the heck they find this shtuff? I didn't go killcrazy because they'd pepper that shit sandwich of a playlist with gems like Leppard, Quiet Riot and Gary Numan. Gary Numan? Man. That was some good stuff. I dug out a cassette with "Are Friends Electric?" on it. That song kinda rules. All this reminds me of this time - a while back - in '77 when my family was on vacation in upstate New York and we were skating at this outdoor rink during the day and they too were playing crap. I remember I was just about to hurl because prolonged exposure to bad music made me boot back then too when all of a sudden they threw on that disco version of the Star Wars soundtrack. They had samples of the C3PO and the R2D2 and everything. It was inspirational skating music. I skated as hard and as fast as a little fella could. Ya think all the music that's played at the rinks around the globe's inspirational to at least one person? Nahhh! I defy you to find someone inspired by "Arthur's Theme."

For drinking pleasure, join the TNSC at:

The Lush Lounge, corner of Post & Polk, SF

Joining the list tonight are Naomi and Rebecca. Say "hey" to Naomi and Rebecca at the venue tonight and buy them a drink. Jer's new roommate and her sister would be on the list, but they didn't cough up their email addresses. At press time, Chef has not divulged Heather's email address and she's outta luck too. Fear not: They'll soon be on the list.

TONIGHT'S CONTEST: "Bite The Big One" Contest. (Thanks for the suggestion, Teensy.)

TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: This cool dream I had a while back. I was at lunch with Robert Plant and this weird little waiter with an eyepatch and a limp kept giving us drinks that we didn't order. There was an old-fashioned bomb with a lit fuse for the table lamp. (Editor's Note: This super-lame reenactment is the result of the funding cuts levelled on the TNSC TonDramReen Foundation by the new Administration. It is this editor's opinion that this is but the beginning.)

TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: The aforementioned Jeremy Johnson. That sucker is back in town fer good this time. He blew into town last night with a truckload of stuff that didn't get moved into my apartment, so I figure he's serious. Welcome back!

"Wiplash" by Metallica is a good inspirational skating song. I'm not sure why they don't play that one. Come out to the bar tonight and see your pals, new and old. I know I will. See you there! bye-ee!

Here we go!