Switcheroo!

4.2.2k1

We would get busted sometimes, my brother, sister and me. Here we're little kids; clever, crafty, sly ... sneaky. We would get busted by our mom because somehow she would figure that the entire box of Poptarts did not evaporate, or get stolen, or eat themselves, or some such nonsense. One of the rascals lined up in front of her snagged the box and ate the contents. Simple detective work: You got yer crime, round up them usual suspects. Put 'em in a lineup and get one of them to crack. Now I ain't saying that I ate all the Poptarts, but maybe, oh, once we were lined-up for some similar heinous offense. The three of us vehemently denied any involvement. We stuck to our stories. Fifteen minutes in the lineup. Half-hour. Forty-five minutes. An hour and we've totally missed The A Team. All the while I know I'm the one who sacked the pudding cups. Brother? Innocent. Sister? The same. Me? Pudding cup eating rat bastard. Missing The A Team was a pretty big price to pay but I wasn't about to fess up. Would have set a bad precedent. If we all held out for a bit longer we'd get sent to our rooms and not get to watch the TeeVee for a week or something. That kinda sucked, but Oh! The pudding!

Back then I had a high-performance lie-reflex. Q: "Who ate all the pudding cups?" A: "Not me." (Lie.) Q: "Have you finished your homework?" A: "Don't have any." (Lie.) As much as any reflex works, a lie would pop out just as fast as the truth. Q: "Who broke this?" A: "Don't know." (Lie. I knew. I broke it.) I was reminded of the lie-reflex the other day when I was almost run over by some lady in an SUV. I'm on the bike, going to work, and the light in front of me turns yellow. Okay. I go to stop. Suddenly I hear brakes screeching behind me and I figure I'm about to get hit. The brakes on that SUV worked pretty well and I didn't get hit. The lady pulls up and she's staring at me incredulously. I motion for her to roll down the window and she does. I ask her what the fuck? and she says I came out of nowhere. Lie-reflex. Now I've got the incredulous look. I told her that I've been in that lane for four blocks and that she was a goddamn liar and why was she driving so fast anyway. She abandoned the lie when I called her on it and said that she was sorry and it scared her. I begged for her to be more careful then the light changed and the story was over. It got me thinking about the lie-reflex, though. It reminded me of the Poptarts and pudding cups and that I don't have much of a lie-reflex anymore. This lady sure did but I figure I shoot straight these days. It's easier to remember the truth than it is to remember a huge stack of lies. No, it's "nothing but the truth" now. Well, except for when I write the TNSC Venue Announcement. Ha!

Tonight: The Il Pirata

News: Within the next few weeks I will be switching over to a mailing list. This differs from standard email in that I send the TNSC VA to one address instead of the hundred-odd addresses I send to now. To subscribe to the list, please send an email to this address: TNSC_venue_announcement-request@therein-lies.com Put the word "subscribe" as the subject and you will be subscribed. (Or simply click this link.) For a few weeks I'll send the VA to the "old" list and the "new" mailing list, so you might get two TNSC VA's, but only for a few weeks. Then you're on your own.

Send your non-public comments to: tnsc@therein-lies.com


TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Subscribe to the mailing list. First subscriber gets a prize. (You must be present at 4.2.2k1's meeting to receive your prize.)

TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: The final installment in TNSC's tribute to the Silver Screen: Dude's "abduction" in The Big Lebowski. (PolyGram Filmed Entertainment, 1998) Forced to explain himself to Lebowski, Dude nearly spills his drink while being chucked into the limo by the big lug of a chauffeur. Our Players: Alan plays Dude; Jason Porter plays the chauffeur; Berceste plays the limo; Nicole plays Dude's drink: The White Russian.

TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: Spark Sorensen. Keywords: Nico Joy.

Go Sharks!

Cancel your plans, sleep on the plane ... whatever it takes! Just get yer butts on over to The Il Pirata tonight. Cancel your friends' plans, sleep with your friends on the plane ... whatever! Just bring your friends. I know I will. See you there! bye-ee! bye-ee!