The Extra "E" ...

5.5.2k1

I guess I'm a stupid asshole but I would naturally figure that a bunch of white-collar professionals would be more apt to clean up after themselves than a group of blue-collar painters, plastermen, carpenters, duct guys and electricians. Nope. Far from it. They're remodeling the office space across the hall from where I work and all the dot-com office dorks have been moved across town while the construction work gets done. I used to complain (Me? Complain? No!) ... used to complain about all the office fucks that peed all over the bathroom. It's a semi-public deal that has three urinals and two shitters. I'll be damned if the white-collar "pros" didn't piss all over every bit of real estate. Seats, wall, floors. Kinder-frikkin-garten. That irritated me on a daily basis. I put up signs: "If you are more than four years old, please lift the seat before you pee." Sign got torn down, but we got one them dee-lux xerox-ers there at the office. Made more signs. Didn't do any good, though. They "watered" that joint until the day they got moved. I shoulda figured it, though. Probably not one of them ever been on a date, let alone kiss a girl. I say this because you try that peein' on a girl's toilet seat you'll see how fast she hands you your hat and tells you to get the fuck out. For good. Even a bunch of shit-faced, videogame-playin', got-beat-up-every-day-at-school, never-kissed-a-girl losers would learn from that kinda reenforcement. You can bet the duct guys and them get one of their own trowells upside the head if they wet the seat. So here I am, thinking I ain't seen nothin' yet regarding trashed restrooms when construction starts and the workin-class joes are neat and tidy. Every one of 'em I've seen in the john washed up after doin' their business. That's more than I can say for them "internet" folk. I made a royal misjudgment. Because of this, I offer my sinscere apologies to all those working-class dudes that lift the seat and practice good aim and good personal hygene. Actually, I bet it has something to do with their collective bargaining agreements ...

Tonight: The Il Pirata

Here's the news: The mailing list is now working. Please take a moment to subscribe. The classic list will soon be retired. If you're confused as to why you have to subscribe again, well, don't worry about it. I chucked that list out. It had some problems. Bats in the belfry and such. New list = no bats. huh?

Tonight's venue has been chosen because the weather is, ulp, "great" and The Pirate has a patio. Oh, and parking. And Miller High Life. And UPS guys for all you lovely list members who can't keep your hands off UPS guys. Me, I likea the Miller myself.

Yeh, I think the Rant section has to go. Mebbe I'll try to defibrillate it with a TOPIC! Okey. Here's the topic: Your favorite cocktail. What is it? Why do you like it? How does it compare to the official TNSC cocktail: The White Russian?

Remember, list members, send your non-public comments to: tnsc@therein-lies.com


TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Subscribe! There is a prize this week. You have to be present to win. I still owe Teensy her prize.

TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: nix! JC plays nix!

TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: Al. Good luck. Or should you be wishing us good luck?

Okay, fine. You want to sit outside and drink yummy yummy booze? Me too. Cancel all other plans and get yer butts over to the Il Pirata. They have free hotdogs. mmmmmm. I expect a lot of "no-shows" and "career no-shows" to get over it and come out. I'll be the one throwing up on the raccoon. See you there! bye-ee!