Bonneteau

7.4.2k1

Hey! Great news! Longtime list member and official TNSC historian Stuart Pidd has just published his first novel! It's a work of fiction called A Big Hat For a Small Head. I got an advance copy from our good pals at Wet Possum Publishers. Here's an excerpt. (I'll preface: The protagonist, a Three Card Monte Tosser named Jackson, is plying his trade at the Powell Street cable-car turnaround in San Francisco. His team includes his lover, an ex-stripper named Doll-face. Doll-face is a Shill, or accomplice, who wins a couple hands to prove the game can be beaten. Cass is another shill who befriends the Punter, or target, enough to get the Punter to play. Belv is a Russian Army deserter who is the Lookout, Muscle and Roper. Jax doesn't trust Cass or Belv as far as he can pee. The Punter is a tourist from Dayton, Ohio named Page.) Doll-face picks the Queen.
"Win again. Little lady picks the lady."
Doll-face hops up and down, clapping. "Ohhh. Lemme go again. Lemme go again."
"Sure," Jackson says, "you bet."
"Hey, I win too. I threw down," says Cass.
"That your fin?" Jackson asks Cass. "You throw down that five?" He looks at Doll-face, she's still jumping. He looks at Page. "You. You see him throw down that five?"
"Uh ... uh ... " says Page.
"'Uh' what? He bet the five or not?"
"Uh ... yeah. Yeah, I guess he did." Page seems a bit more interested. Jax thinks he's almost got him."
"Okey, then. You throw in five, you get ten back. There's your five ... and ten." He tosses over the bills. Cass collects the ten.
"Let's go again. Let the five ride." says Cass.
Jackson looks over to Belv. Belv is wading five-deep through the cable-car crowd. They make eye contact. All clear.
"All right. We go again. But how 'bout throwin' down the ten? The lady's hot. She can pick 'em. You seen her."
Cass looks at Doll-face. She bats her eyes at him and he looks her up and down. A hard look. Page looks on.
"Well let's go, Romeo. Win her a prize," Jackson says. He lights a smoke.
"Yeah, I'm in. Here's the ten." Cass says, placing the ten. He reaches for his five ...
"Ep! Too late, bud. You're in for fifteen. Can't take 'em back."
"What?" Cass says. "You said bet the ten. Not fifteen."
"You wanna take back bets, go to some other guy's table. Let it ride, huh?"
Cass looks at Page. Page shrugs. "Okay," Cass says, "why not? The lady's hot."
Jackson shows each card. Ten of spades. Ace of spades. Queen of Hearts. He throws them face-down.
"Find the lady," he tells Doll-face.
Doll-face shoves a fingernail in her mouth and chews. "Ummmmm ..." she says.
"Take your time, but we ain't got all day." Jackson says and winks at Page, who smiles.
After a couple seconds ... "There! Middle!" Doll-face takes her finger out of her mouth to point. "Middle"
"Middle card, babe? You sure?"
"Uhhh ... sure. Sure I'm sure."
"Yeah. I think so too." Says Page. "Middle."
"Whoa!" Jackson says, "Batter up!" A few other passers-by look in. "New batter! You think middle too, new batter? You want a piece?"
"Sure. I seen it too. Middle or I'm from Columbus." Page throws down a five.
"Okay, batter," Jax takes a drag and points at Page, "Let's see where you from." He turns the middle card. Queen.
"Shit the lady HOT!" says Jackson. "Makin' the fellas happy!"
Everyone smiles. Doll-face goes through her hippity-hoppity routine, Cass slaps Page on the back. Page nods his head. "Middle all the way."
Jackson talks it up. "Way to go, batter! Here's yer ten, yer five. You ... here's your forty-five. You, Eagle-Eye," he
motions to Doll-face, "here's your twenty and here's my forty. Dang. You hot."
"Oh I wanna ride it out! Sixty! I'm in for sixty," says Doll-face.
"Hey!" says Cass, suddenly, to Jackson, "You can pay that out?"
"Oh yeah," says Jackson, pulling a fistfull of bills from his pocket, showing Cass, Page, "bank of Jackson is open."
Cass looks at Page. "Oh fuck yes. I'm in for it all too. Let it ride."
"How 'bout you, batter? You ride it out?"
"Uh ..." Page looks around, to Jackson, to Cass, back to Jackson.
Jackson says, "The lady, she winnin'. She got it goin' ON!"
"C'mon, bud," Cass says to Page, "You seen her. She can spot that Queen bitch no shit!"
Page looks at Doll-face. She bats her eyes at him, steps closer. Page takes out his wallet and fingers two twenties. Doll-face steps up to him, pushes her breasts against his arm. "Oh, wow," she says. Page looks at his wallet, then at the girl. He takes four twenties out and puts them on the table.
"Oh yeah, baby," says Cass, elbowing Page playfully, "you buyin' at the Thursday Night Social Club tonight
when you double that." Cass looks at Jackson and grins.
"Okay, baby," Jackson says, showing three cards, "Find the lady."



It’s a fun little romp. Kinda pulpy, sure, but it reads easy. The whole thing is set in San Francisco and the characters all go to TNSC. Stu works in some real-life list members. Tama, John Metsker, Alan, Moss … all of them show up at one time or another. You’ll have to read the book, but there’s a hilarious part where the Doll-face character and the fictionalized Dee get into a brawl in the Mayor’s office. (Okay, what’s with the character Doll-face? What kinda cheesy name is that? My opinion is Stu couldn’t think of anything better.) Oh well. Tonight we pay tribute to Stuart and his fine piece of pulp fiction at his favorite local bar:

Bamboo Hut

The news: There is NO PARKING in North Beach. Take the bus. Also in the news, Kira is new to the list. John is new to the list. We had a great turnout last week at Orbit. Lots of old-school list members. Thanks for showin up. Tonight we have out-of-town list members. Welcome all!

Comments: tnsc@therein-lies.com


TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Find the reference!

Last Week’s Contest Results: The VA title was “Trinity.” The name referred to Carrie Ann Moss’ character in The Matrix. Longtime List Member Moss got this far, but he didn’t finish the reference. Trinity did her some slow-motion kung fu in the move and that was your reference! (This toughy was a response to the “These are too easy” comment from Founding Member John Metsker.) No winner.

TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: Australia’s disqualification in the women’s 800-meter freestyle relay at the 2001 World Swimming Championship. Team Australia was disqualified after having won the event when one of the team jumped into the pool in celebration before the Italian team had finished. A “clear-cut” violation of the rules, perhaps, but the decision by the sport’s governing body, FINA, prompted the Austrailan coach to call FINA a – get this – “kangaroo court.” HA!
Players: Anna plays the Australian anchor who finishes first; Mary Haring plays the Australian swimmer who disqualified her team; Mrs Alan Chimenti plays the slow-ass Italian swimmer; (nameless) plays the Australian coach; and Scott Harris plays the rigid, take-no-shit governing board FINA.

TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: Todd Lindo. He is so cool. That gets him singled-out.

PORN TITLE OF THE WEEK: A Midsummer Night's Cream

Bus, walk or bike to Bamboo hut. Skateboard. Hitchhike. Don’t drive or you’ll be looking for parking forever. However you get there, be sure to bring your friends. I know I will. See you there! bye-ee!