Duke of Chicago

8.4.2k1

Yeh, well my brother has up and changed careers. Yep. That sucker peeled off his apron, whipped off that crazy hat, chucked his knives, tater mashers and wooden spoons, threw out his cutting boards, jettisoned his mixing bowls, shit-canned his measuring cups and booted his food processor. He tossed his blender, pitched his toaster, junked his pastry fork, burned his cutting boards and sold his fondue set.
He relinquished his mixing bowls, gave up his whisks, surrendered his cookbooks; yielded his salad forks, ceded his soup spoons and let go his butter knives. He let slip the bread pans, dropped the cake pans, abandoned the jellyroll pans and gave away the pizza pans.
He disposed of the juicer, parted with the zester, laid aside the peeler, set aside the corer, cast off the tenderizer and marooned the gravy boat.
He ridded himself of the frypan, disburdened himself of the saucepan, divested himself of au gratin pan, dispossessed himself of the saute pan and washed his hands of the roasting pan.
He discarded the Joy of Cooking.
He pitched the Cheese Bible.
He threw to the winds The Food Lover’s Companion. I’m thinking he’s serious about this change.

I love that guy – of course I do! – so I’m supporting his decision. He’s making this change because he’s found a new passion. He’s really excited about this and he said that I could use this forum to make the official announcement. He’s swapped his old profession for this one: Celebrity Impersonation!
You might say to yourself: Wow! A celebrity impersonator, how exciting. You might think of your favorite celebs and wonder if my brother impersonates them. If you like Daniel Day Lewis -- sorry. He doesn’t impersonate him. Stallone? Nope. Jerry Lewis (lllllaaaaaddyy!!!)? Nuh-uh. However, if your favorite celeb is the late DeForest Kelley – Star Trek’s Dr. McCoy – you’re in luck! Boy my brother throws around some hilarious Dr. McCoy quotes: “Remind me to tell you that I’m sick of your logic,” and “I’m a doctor, not a bricklayer,” and “In plain, non-Vulcan English, we've been lucky.” The gags just keep on comin’. Oh how fun he is to have at partys. See for yourself, tonight, here: Dalva

News: We went to this joint Dalva on this date last year. Remember? The Founding Members have determined that a little walk down memory lane is in order here in the Dog Days. (Gimme a break, dog days. It’s freezin’ out here.) In other news: HBD to Longtime List Member and Miss-Not-Joining-Us-Tonight Sue Erokan. She is 25. Darin is new wo the list. Teensy is coming out tonight, so if you owe her money or prizes, bring ‘em. Robot screwed the Linkey Loo last week. Robot regrets the transgression. Bobo and Freshy’s mail got booted by the Giant Killer Robot Mail Server. Somebody tell them.

Comments: tnsc@therein-lies.com

TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Find the reference!

Last Week’s Contest Results: Founding Member and consistent Find The Reference! contestant John Metsker identified “STS-105” as “Space Shuttle mission to the International Space Station” at 2:33 pm. This is semi-correct: “STS” stands for Space Transportation System and can be unmanned rockets as well as Shuttles. I was about to award Mr. Metsker the prize when Longtime List Member Moss Gross’ message posted. It was held up in his mail server but had been stamped at 2:32pm! If his answer was more accurate than Mr. Metsker’s, Mr. Gross would win! His answer: “The last shuttle mission - the one you skipped town to see” That is more accurate! Mr. Gross wins the golfball and tee set from the titty bar.

TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: The firing of the French dude for wearing shorts to work. Now we all like to wear shorts to work but here’s a guy who got booted for it! Sure there was a dress code, but he was a factory worker and it was freakin’ hot! Leave it to the frogs to mete out such harsh justice. His case is in arbitration. Our players: Founding Member and Linkey-Loo Coordinator Alan J. Chimenti plays the bermuda short-wearing French dude; my brother plays the dude who fired him; Kira plays the bermuda shorts; and Kay Rough plays the arbitrator.

TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: Ced. He’s on vacation for the next few weeks but will be joining us again in Oct. Thanks for the head’s up!

PORN TITLE OF THE WEEK: The Bare Bitch Project

Ah, Dalva. The memories. Was that really a year ago? What bus route runs down that street? Do yourself a favor and come out tonight. Rub elbows with the Mission’s elite. Make some new memories. Throw someone against a wall. Bring your friends. I know I will. See you there! bye-ee!