Pt. 3

1.3.2k2

Continued from 1.2.2k2 …
You must know by now that I have a startlingly large collection of shoes. Some are of the low-maintenance Converse/Vans/Airwalk type, while others need routine polishing and buffing. Having spent a number of winters in the Midwest, where the salt used to melt the ice on the streets leaves an unsightly white salt-stain on shoes, I could often be found cleaning the salt off my shoes and polishing them to a brilliant shine. I enjoyed doing this, as the result was a well-cared-for-looking pair of shoes. Salt-stains on my shoes I could deal with. Soon to come, though, was the trigger to my obsession with vacuuming shoes.
It started innocently enough. The two long-haired cats I lived with began to lounge on my shoes. My cats’ direct contact with canvas shoes, leather shoes, boots, laces and buckles coupled with hardwood floors led to a surprising amount of cat hair all over my shoes. (The hardwood floors factored because the random bits of cat fluff elsewhere in the apartment would inevitably drift across the floor, find and stick to my pile of shoes.) I determined that the most efficient way to rid my shoes of cat dander was to simply vacuum it up.
It seemed, though, that the moment I rid the shoe pile of cat hair that it would again be infested. These were LONG-HAIRED cats, people. How much fur they shed amazed me. So with no small effort, I launched a campaign to keep the shoe-pile free of cat. A vacuuming of the pile every month or so became every week or so. Then the frequency increased to every day. Then, frighteningly, twice a day. Soon I would wake in the night and stumble to my Hoover and my shoe pile. I would find myself carrying a Dust Buster with me to vacuum the shoes I had on in the field. I would suck off my shoes when there was nothing to suck off. Oh, the humanity.

Tonight: Mauna Loa

Last week at the Elephant sure was fun! Lots of friendly faces, new and old. New to the list is Katie.
Some of the TNSC’s more sophisticated systems, such as the Tonight’s Dramatic Reenactment engine, the Tonight’s Contest Generator turned out to not be Y2K2 compatible. Fear not! The geeks at the University of Bisbee have assured me that software upgrades are mere weeks from completion. In the meantime, please enjoy the serialized bullshit adventure.

See you all at the dive! bye-ee!