Jules Verne

2.2.2k2

So I got one of them little peeky-peekys. Some folks call them satellite dishes. A fine, fun-loving List Member set me up with the hardware and I called the programming company and got me about 500 channels. Now while this might sound like a lot of stuff to watch, truth is there's nothing. A whole lot of nothing. The Home BO replays the crappiest movies ... ever. The Food Channel, while somewhat interesting at times, torpedoes its best show, Iron Chef, with that campy English voice over. (In the old days, Iron Chef was on a SF cable-access channel DIE-rect from Japan. It had no English VO, but rather these English subtitles, translations from Japanese, and reading them, the viewer had the feeling that the translator didn't quite saavy Japanese-to-English. And that he was stone drunk.) But at any rate, 500 channels or not, I could scarsely find anything to watch. That is, until I stumbled across the "Operation Channel."\
Pop on the Operation Channel and you're in for a treat, if you can stomach it. Well I can't. The close-ups of the gall bladder surgery or the intra-cavity camera's shots of the hernia operation frankly make me want to hurl. The strange thing, though, is my inability to look away. I'm grossed out, completely, but fascinated (discreetly).\
I threw on the Operation Channel the other night and found someone's toe being reconstructed. Someone had apparently dropped a heavy object, perhaps a bowling ball, on their toe and some enterprising surgeon figured they could salvage the little piggy. Dang but the inside of the toe is icky-looking. The doc was packing what looked like orzo or wee-little shipping peanuts into the meaty, pink, split-toe and I forgot that I needed to look away often and ended up staring at the screen for a long time. Nose wrinkled, squinting and about to puke, I remembered myself and looked at the back of my hand just in time.\
Moments later, as the nausea washed away, I returned to the screen. This time, they showed some fella sitting in bed, reading aloud crappy Laughter Is The Best Medicine jokes from Reader's Digest. The jokes weren't funny, but the guy was enjoying them. I was about to ask what happened to the toe when the camera panned down the bed and the Doc and a bunch of lackeys were down there working on the toe. The dude wasn't even konked out! That threw me for a loop. What a miraculous time we live in, when we can simultaneously enjoy the worst jokes on the planet and get our toe operated on. Oh joy!\

Tonight: Lone Palm

News: Arg! Mateys! Robot feels like a pirate!

Tonight’s Singled-Out List Member: Moss
Satanic Word of the Week: Error [(Venue Announcement not verbose enough to constitute Satanic Word of the Week. Error No. 666)]
Porn Title of the Week: Whore of the Rings

bye-ee!