Breaking News!
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Shocking the entire TNSC community, the Founding Members today announced the appointment of two longtime List Members to the lofty status of Honorary Founding Members. Mr. Moss Gross and Mr. Mathias Genser sped through the appointment and confirmation processes and endured a formal but brief inauguration ceremony this afternoon at the TNSC's temporary headquarters near the Jon D. Fiore Room at the Tinhorn Bar in San Francisco's UN Plaza (the actual location of the TNSC's temporary headquarters is classified). (See photo spread at end of article.)
A press release by the Founding Members, read by outgoing TNSC Press Secretary/Master of Ceremonies Mr. Todd Lindo, declared Mr. Gross and Mr. Genser worthy of their appointments for being "especially diligent in attendance, utterly presentable in appearance, exceptional in generosity ... and excelling ... in promotion of the TNSC Spirit."
When asked for an explaination of "the TNSC Sprit" at the subsequent press conference, Founding Member Alan J. Chimenti stated, "That's a typo. It should have said 'TNSC Spit.'" Further explaination did not seem to be necessary, as the reporter from the Radium Glow retook her seat.
Mr. Gross is an ex-Navy SEAL, whose military exploits include infiltrating Iraq's fabled Republican Guard, singlehandedly tricking a batallion of the little devils into turning themselves over to the Coalition forces at Basra. He has a no-nonsense approach to closing car doors, buying drinks for other List Members and tweeking the nonsensical entertainment engines dreamed up by TNSC Robot and programmed by the geeks at the University of Bisbee. He joined the TNSC in 1997.
Mr. Genser boasts an impressive list of friends he wouldn't dare bring to a TNSC meeting, in addition to a well-managed and very stylish silver goatee. A World Record-holding skin diver, Mr. Genser legally changed his middle name to Abalone in 1977. He is known for selflessly giving people rides home after TNSC meetings, even if those he's driving are scattered all over the Bay Area. Mr. Genser has been a member since Spring 2000 and currently leads all List Members in consecutive meetings attended.
A reception for the Honorary Founding Members is planned for this evening at the Orbit Room.
Here's a couple pics.
Misters Gross and Genser arrive at their Honorary Founding Member swearing-in ceremony, accompanied by TNSC Founding Member Mr. Alan J. Chimenti and Longtime List Member Mr. Cedrick Jonnae. Not Pictured is driver/Founding Member Mr. John Metsker. Photo D. Ingle UofB Bee
TNSC MC/Outgoing Press Secretary Mr. Todd Lindo administers the Club's secret rite, The Oath of Melissa, to Mr. Gross at precisely 13:37 PST, 17 October 2002. Attending the ceremony, from left: Old Crone, Mrs. David Hindley, Mr. Ceddrick Jonnae, Mr. Carl Kaphan, Founding Member TNSC Robot, Mr. Mark Bobek, Mr. Bob Roesler, Founding Member Mr. Alan J. Chimenti, Honorary Founding Member Mr. Mathias Genser, Honorary Founding Member Mr. Moss Gross, Porn Title of the Week Coordinator Miss Tama Blough, (Unidentified person), Mrs. Alan J. Chimenti, TNSC MC/Outgoing Press Secretary Mr. Todd Lindo, Founding Member Miss Susan Dynamite, Founding Member Mr. John Metsker and Longtime List Member Mr. Jason Porter. TNSC Patron, Mr. John Astin's likeness hangs in the background. (Some Members not to scale.) Photo D. Ingle UofB Bee
Thursday, October 17, 2002
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