Lost muh watch
5.5.2k3
Thursday, 29 May, 2003
Would ya look at the time! I almost missed my chance to tell you to grab a partner and head o'er to the Mission's Make Out Room for delicious drinkey-poos. Watch some ass shakin' as yr out-makin'. Bring yr pals. I will. See you there!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, May 29, 2003
Thursday, May 15, 2003
Look it up.
5.3.2k3
Thursday, 22 May, 2003
This one is dedicated to my sister, Bishop, who was married this past Saturday.
It was back in '74 or '75 ...
My sister claimed that she made up a new word to call my brother and me.
The word was "Oaf."
I told my mother of this claim and she suggested I look the word up in the dictionary.
The dictionary definition, and I quote: "A simpleton; dunce; moron. A clumsy stupid person."
I was four.
Or five.
Now get the rub:
My sister did not, in fact, make up the word, "oaf."
But she did call us dunces.
Kinda pyrrhic victory for her, I guess.
Tonight: POW!
See you there!
bye-ee!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
5.3.2k3
Thursday, 22 May, 2003
This one is dedicated to my sister, Bishop, who was married this past Saturday.
It was back in '74 or '75 ...
My sister claimed that she made up a new word to call my brother and me.
The word was "Oaf."
I told my mother of this claim and she suggested I look the word up in the dictionary.
The dictionary definition, and I quote: "A simpleton; dunce; moron. A clumsy stupid person."
I was four.
Or five.
Now get the rub:
My sister did not, in fact, make up the word, "oaf."
But she did call us dunces.
Kinda pyrrhic victory for her, I guess.
Tonight: POW!
See you there!
bye-ee!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, May 01, 2003
Ocho de Mayo, or, Here, Kitty Kitty
5.1.2k3
Thursday, 08 May, 2003
"For every bad action there's ten good actions that come of it."
I heard some blowhard on the radio say this. I don't have anything to do all day but listen for people on the radio to say stupid things, so when I heard this gem I was pleased.
I thought I'd put the stupid fucking statement to the test. THE BAD ACTION: I dumped a steamin' hot cuppa coffee in my lap. THE TEN GOOD ACTIONS: 1.) I screamed "FUCK" as loud as I could. So loud it hurt my throat. Not as bad as my steamin' hot lap, but I felt it later too. (So, really ... is this a good action? Nah.) 2.) I threw the mug against the wall. (Also not a good action: I really liked that mug. It's the last one I had from that shitty joint I used to work, Editel.) 3.) I got coffee stains all o-vah my trusty favorite shorts. (Yeah, that'll come out: BAD action.) 4.) It took the expression, "It burns when I pee," to a whole new level. A bad level. 5.) Steamin' hot cuppa coffee WASTED! Bad! 6.) Messy! Messy! Messy! 7.) A nun happened to be walking by my home and was within earshot when I yelled FUCK. You shoulda seen the disappointed look she gave me as she shook her penguin-head. 8.) The Cubs lost. (It's connected. And Bad.) 9.) The Lord happened to be checkin' in on the Editel mug and noticed I had just smashed it. He was pissed so he skunked all my beers. Very bad. 10.) My hot, wet lap got cold and I had major shrinkage. Oh so very very bad.
So blowhard had no idea what he was talkin' about after all, as 10 bad actions came of my initial bad actio. It's fun to prove people wrong.
Tonight: Lucky 13
Nice joint, that Lucky 13. Bring yr pals. I will. See you there!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
5.1.2k3
Thursday, 08 May, 2003
"For every bad action there's ten good actions that come of it."
I heard some blowhard on the radio say this. I don't have anything to do all day but listen for people on the radio to say stupid things, so when I heard this gem I was pleased.
I thought I'd put the stupid fucking statement to the test. THE BAD ACTION: I dumped a steamin' hot cuppa coffee in my lap. THE TEN GOOD ACTIONS: 1.) I screamed "FUCK" as loud as I could. So loud it hurt my throat. Not as bad as my steamin' hot lap, but I felt it later too. (So, really ... is this a good action? Nah.) 2.) I threw the mug against the wall. (Also not a good action: I really liked that mug. It's the last one I had from that shitty joint I used to work, Editel.) 3.) I got coffee stains all o-vah my trusty favorite shorts. (Yeah, that'll come out: BAD action.) 4.) It took the expression, "It burns when I pee," to a whole new level. A bad level. 5.) Steamin' hot cuppa coffee WASTED! Bad! 6.) Messy! Messy! Messy! 7.) A nun happened to be walking by my home and was within earshot when I yelled FUCK. You shoulda seen the disappointed look she gave me as she shook her penguin-head. 8.) The Cubs lost. (It's connected. And Bad.) 9.) The Lord happened to be checkin' in on the Editel mug and noticed I had just smashed it. He was pissed so he skunked all my beers. Very bad. 10.) My hot, wet lap got cold and I had major shrinkage. Oh so very very bad.
So blowhard had no idea what he was talkin' about after all, as 10 bad actions came of my initial bad actio. It's fun to prove people wrong.
Tonight: Lucky 13
Nice joint, that Lucky 13. Bring yr pals. I will. See you there!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
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