Salt 'n Pepa

4.2.2k4
Thursday, 8 APril 2004



Have a look at this little "news" story I found on the Internet the other day:

SAN ANTONIO (Reuters) - A Texas woman heating fish sticks was shot in the leg by a gun that had been stashed in her oven, police said.
Roxanne Perez, 29, was taken to a local hospital where she was in good condition, police said Friday. They said a friend of hers had hidden the .357 caliber handgun in the stove two weeks earlier without telling her after she told him no guns were allowed in her house. When Perez heated up the fish sticks she also heated up the gun, which caused several rounds to be fired. One hit her in the leg. No charges have been filed because the shooting was accidental, police said.

I love this story so much I read it once a day at least. Every part of the story makes me happy to be an American. Here's why, bit-by-bit:
Fish sticks. I fuckin' love fish sticks and I love people who love 'em.
Roxanne Perez. That's one hell of a name.
Stashing a gun in an oven b/c you were told No Guns Allowed. If that don't say America I don't know what does. It screams RESOURCEFUL and CRAFTY and WILEY and DUMB-AS-DIRT and ... all this says AMERICA.
Heating up fish sticks = heating up gun. Funny how science works. It don't care if it's a pie, a cake, a casserole or a .357 yr heating up in the oven. Motherfucker ain't broke, oven will heat it up. It's like that, yeah.
No charges filed. If it was Roxanne or her pal that popped off some rounds, you bet charges would be filed. But as it was the Magic Chef or Kenmore or Whirlpool or whatever, no charges. (Sorta surprises me that them Texicans DIDN'T charge the oven. They're kinda ... you know ... thick.)
Roxy at hospital in good condition. I'm glad she weren't too badly hurt.
The story did leave me wondering who ate up them 'sticks ... or if any had been shot. Oh the humanity!

Tonight - Hug the Yeti at: Bigfoot Lodge.

Here's tonight's "harder": Find the Reference!


Bring yr pals. I know I will.

See you there!

bye-ee!



whrr ... clik!