Rob
1.4.2k6
The partying with rock stars and gallons of booze and "watching" people snort coke off hooker's tits until 8:45 this morning and 15 minutes later making dailies halfway across town (thank you Milo from Luxor Cab) has left me feeling ZOMBIFIED! I'm sure you'll feel right at home at the aptly-named HOMESTEAD tonight.
Tonight - The Homestead ... finder @ Folsom and 19th.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
Pork tenderloin or roti chicken?
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Thursday, January 19, 2006
You can't win.
1.3.2k6
Transcript of my Lotto Win press conference.
Lotto Rep: And may I introduce the big Lotto winner, Mr. TNSC Robot.
(applause)
TNSC Rbt: Thank you. First thing, Go Cubs. (applause) Okay, thanks, thanks. I'd, uh, like to thank the Cal Lotto commission and Gov. Terminator. I'd like to thank Hadj from Alameda Quickie Lickey Liquor #2, but since he gets a cut, mebbe he should be thanking me.
Hadj: Thanky Boss.
TNSC Rbt: Yeh, okay. Yr welcome. Anyway, the wife gets a new car, the car gets new mud bog tires, the yard gets a mud bog ... um ... oh yeh: The cat gets a thyroid. I'm gonna see how far that pipe-dream of buying a kid from his shitbox ma and giving him to his papa will come to reality. I'll throw some cabbage at it. Should be fun. Sorry I said shitbox - this is live TV - but I still mean it. Anyway, I'm gonna quit my job and buy a condo in Chicago. Stay there when the weather ain't cold. My lovely wife gets all that's left and, heh heh, since there's likely still MILLIONS left, she gets to do whatever she wants.
(applause)
Now if you'd all join me at TNSC's newly relocated headquarters, we should begin the party.
Tonight - Annie's Social Club
Please note that Annie's has moved and is now located at 917 Folsom (@ 5th). LLC and I stopped by last Friday pm and it's great and you gotta see it!
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
1.3.2k6
Transcript of my Lotto Win press conference.
Lotto Rep: And may I introduce the big Lotto winner, Mr. TNSC Robot.
(applause)
TNSC Rbt: Thank you. First thing, Go Cubs. (applause) Okay, thanks, thanks. I'd, uh, like to thank the Cal Lotto commission and Gov. Terminator. I'd like to thank Hadj from Alameda Quickie Lickey Liquor #2, but since he gets a cut, mebbe he should be thanking me.
Hadj: Thanky Boss.
TNSC Rbt: Yeh, okay. Yr welcome. Anyway, the wife gets a new car, the car gets new mud bog tires, the yard gets a mud bog ... um ... oh yeh: The cat gets a thyroid. I'm gonna see how far that pipe-dream of buying a kid from his shitbox ma and giving him to his papa will come to reality. I'll throw some cabbage at it. Should be fun. Sorry I said shitbox - this is live TV - but I still mean it. Anyway, I'm gonna quit my job and buy a condo in Chicago. Stay there when the weather ain't cold. My lovely wife gets all that's left and, heh heh, since there's likely still MILLIONS left, she gets to do whatever she wants.
(applause)
Now if you'd all join me at TNSC's newly relocated headquarters, we should begin the party.
Tonight - Annie's Social Club
Please note that Annie's has moved and is now located at 917 Folsom (@ 5th). LLC and I stopped by last Friday pm and it's great and you gotta see it!
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Shamalama Ding Dong
1.2.2k6
There was a show on in the 70's hosted by Spock Nimoy called In Search of and on the show he explored strange things in the universe, like the Shroud of Turin, haunted houses and if plants could communicate with each other, to name a few. I shure wish the show was still on the air, because I'd call up one of the producers and have 'em bring a crew over to my place as there is some seriously unexplained shit goin' on.
Or so my landlady would like me to believe.
Here's the story: Kitchen sink faucet has a drip. I notice it only because there's a coffee cup under the tap and the drip begins to fill the cup and thus begins to to make the classic drip-drip-drip noise. Additionally, it's the hot faucet that won't tighten and hot water is leaking. I'm thinking about wasted $$. I'm not totally useless so I get out my toolbox, turn off the water, unscrew the faucet, replace the washer and reassemble. The drip stops.
For a week or so.
Yes, the dang drip comes back and this time the drops of hot water are bigger and the frequency of drips is faster. I did what I could so I called my landlady. She said, "I'll come over with a plumber. Is the dog tied up?" I told her we didn't have a dog. Cats. We had cats. "Is the cats tied up?" I said no, but please don't let them out when you come over, because we will be at work and you will have to let yourself in. Then I said, "While yr at it, please call me and tell me when you are coming over." We had a problem with a workman coming over when we weren't home and landlady didn't tell us. Workman stomped flat some plants in the back yard, left tools, hardware and trash around and left the fucking gate open when he left. I didn't care for that. I wanted to know when people were coming around.
She called and said she'll be over in about an hour and asked if the dog was tied up. I reminded her we had cats and told her I wished she would have given us more heads-up than "an hour" so we could get prepared for work to be done. As it was, I remembered there were a couple dishes in the sink, but oh well. Turns out: Not "oh well."
I got home and found the cats to be okay. I looked at the sink and the drip was gone and the dishes were in the sink. Funny. I figured that I'd wash the dishes and so I turned on the water, soaped up a sponge and picked up a glass. The glass was broken. Cracked. It was on its side in the sink and it must have broken when tipped over. And as I don't lay glasses on thier sides when depositing into the sink, I guessed that the idiot "plumber" didn't empty the sink when doing his "work" and knocked the glass over, breaking it. Shit, I thought, but oh well: It's just a glass. Then i picked up a bowl to wash it and in it was a jagged shard of broken wine glass. Motherfucker, I thought, he broke two glasses. I looked for other broken pieces and they were nowhere. Not in the recycling bin, not in the garbage can and definately not in the sink. Holy shit! He broke them, then hid the evidence. But he didn't know he broke the other glass and therefore didn't hide it. I had to call landlady and ask her about it.
I called and asked. She said she standing by guy whole time. He did not break. I said they were not broken when I left and broken when I got home and most of one broken glass was hidden. She said not hidden, did not break. I asked her to ask the "plumber." She called back and said he no break no hide. I said I didn't break them and she said maybe the break themself. I said, okay, then one cleaned itself up and threw itself away in a place I couldn't find and she said yes. Maybe it break itself.
True fucking story. True. Actually happened.
Tonight - Sadie's Flying Elephant.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
Worst turnout ever last week. Sorry to anyone coming late as I wasn't in the mood to sit around by myself. Redemption tonight!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
1.2.2k6
There was a show on in the 70's hosted by Spock Nimoy called In Search of and on the show he explored strange things in the universe, like the Shroud of Turin, haunted houses and if plants could communicate with each other, to name a few. I shure wish the show was still on the air, because I'd call up one of the producers and have 'em bring a crew over to my place as there is some seriously unexplained shit goin' on.
Or so my landlady would like me to believe.
Here's the story: Kitchen sink faucet has a drip. I notice it only because there's a coffee cup under the tap and the drip begins to fill the cup and thus begins to to make the classic drip-drip-drip noise. Additionally, it's the hot faucet that won't tighten and hot water is leaking. I'm thinking about wasted $$. I'm not totally useless so I get out my toolbox, turn off the water, unscrew the faucet, replace the washer and reassemble. The drip stops.
For a week or so.
Yes, the dang drip comes back and this time the drops of hot water are bigger and the frequency of drips is faster. I did what I could so I called my landlady. She said, "I'll come over with a plumber. Is the dog tied up?" I told her we didn't have a dog. Cats. We had cats. "Is the cats tied up?" I said no, but please don't let them out when you come over, because we will be at work and you will have to let yourself in. Then I said, "While yr at it, please call me and tell me when you are coming over." We had a problem with a workman coming over when we weren't home and landlady didn't tell us. Workman stomped flat some plants in the back yard, left tools, hardware and trash around and left the fucking gate open when he left. I didn't care for that. I wanted to know when people were coming around.
She called and said she'll be over in about an hour and asked if the dog was tied up. I reminded her we had cats and told her I wished she would have given us more heads-up than "an hour" so we could get prepared for work to be done. As it was, I remembered there were a couple dishes in the sink, but oh well. Turns out: Not "oh well."
I got home and found the cats to be okay. I looked at the sink and the drip was gone and the dishes were in the sink. Funny. I figured that I'd wash the dishes and so I turned on the water, soaped up a sponge and picked up a glass. The glass was broken. Cracked. It was on its side in the sink and it must have broken when tipped over. And as I don't lay glasses on thier sides when depositing into the sink, I guessed that the idiot "plumber" didn't empty the sink when doing his "work" and knocked the glass over, breaking it. Shit, I thought, but oh well: It's just a glass. Then i picked up a bowl to wash it and in it was a jagged shard of broken wine glass. Motherfucker, I thought, he broke two glasses. I looked for other broken pieces and they were nowhere. Not in the recycling bin, not in the garbage can and definately not in the sink. Holy shit! He broke them, then hid the evidence. But he didn't know he broke the other glass and therefore didn't hide it. I had to call landlady and ask her about it.
I called and asked. She said she standing by guy whole time. He did not break. I said they were not broken when I left and broken when I got home and most of one broken glass was hidden. She said not hidden, did not break. I asked her to ask the "plumber." She called back and said he no break no hide. I said I didn't break them and she said maybe the break themself. I said, okay, then one cleaned itself up and threw itself away in a place I couldn't find and she said yes. Maybe it break itself.
True fucking story. True. Actually happened.
Tonight - Sadie's Flying Elephant.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
Worst turnout ever last week. Sorry to anyone coming late as I wasn't in the mood to sit around by myself. Redemption tonight!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Nightmare on Jump St.
1.1.2k6
If you saw me in Lost In La Mancha, the tragic story of the disastrous production and subsequent cancellation of Terry Gilliam's adaptation of Don Quixote, you might have wondered why I was wearing a pirate costume. I'll tell you why: I had taken Linky Loo Coordinator Alan J. Chimenti's advice and visited the Pirate Store in Bernal Heights right before I left for the shoot.
I was amazed at the place. There was everything a pirate might need, save a galleon to pursue, disable, forcibly board, plunder and ultimately burn and sink. There were fine silk shirts with voluminous pleated sleeves and tapered cuffs, dazzlingly shiny razor-sharp cutlasses, parrots of every species trained to sit atop either shoulder even in a fight, plain black and "fancy" eyepatches, plain wood and "fancy" peglegs, British Navy sailors to kill, unlucky sea passengers to assault and scurvy dogs to flog, keel-haul or make to walk the plank. And everything reasonably priced! I was a little low emotionally at the time and this place picked me right up. Seriously, you should go. They might even have ships now!
Tonight - Eagle's Drift-In Lounge.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
Happy New Year to all. Sorry to those that might have missed last week's secret meeting due to the unexpected closure of The Owl Tree. That place is unreliable.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
1.1.2k6
If you saw me in Lost In La Mancha, the tragic story of the disastrous production and subsequent cancellation of Terry Gilliam's adaptation of Don Quixote, you might have wondered why I was wearing a pirate costume. I'll tell you why: I had taken Linky Loo Coordinator Alan J. Chimenti's advice and visited the Pirate Store in Bernal Heights right before I left for the shoot.
I was amazed at the place. There was everything a pirate might need, save a galleon to pursue, disable, forcibly board, plunder and ultimately burn and sink. There were fine silk shirts with voluminous pleated sleeves and tapered cuffs, dazzlingly shiny razor-sharp cutlasses, parrots of every species trained to sit atop either shoulder even in a fight, plain black and "fancy" eyepatches, plain wood and "fancy" peglegs, British Navy sailors to kill, unlucky sea passengers to assault and scurvy dogs to flog, keel-haul or make to walk the plank. And everything reasonably priced! I was a little low emotionally at the time and this place picked me right up. Seriously, you should go. They might even have ships now!
Tonight - Eagle's Drift-In Lounge.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
Happy New Year to all. Sorry to those that might have missed last week's secret meeting due to the unexpected closure of The Owl Tree. That place is unreliable.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)