Who wants Jack Daniels?
3.5.2k6
I'm disturbed by all the God-this and WWJD-that. I wanted to see just how stupid people were so I decided to run a little experiment. I figured that anything to do w/ the Lord would carry some weight, so I started an eBay auction. The item up for bids was "$110 Cash." That's right. $110 cash. I wrote the description: "You read it right: I'm auctioning cash money. 110 bucks broken down like this: 1x 50, 5x 10 and 2x 5. It's ordinary American money with one catch: A real-live Nun may or may not have looked at it." I left it somewhat ambiguous with the may or may not bullshit. As it is, the whole thing was a bullshit experiment anyway.
So I set the auction to be a 24-hr only auction. I hit "Go" and waited. Nothing happened for the first 22 hrs then I got a hit. Some yokel bid fifty bucks - my preset opening bid. That's all she took. A few minutes later someone bid $52.51. Then it went crazy. I watched it PASS $110. There were 324 bidders all tryin' to outfox each other and snag some cash a nun glanced at ... or mebbe DIDN'T glance at. Goddang auction ended at $140. I paid eBay $6.50 to host the thing so I made ... um ... 20-some bucks for nothin' but bullshit. In yr FACE, Space Coyote!
Tonight - House of Shields.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Doobie Bros.
3.4.2k5
Minutes from last week's TNSC SUMMIT.
7:45p The Summit was unofficially called to order.
7:47p Alberta began preparing a drink with apple slices and tequila.
7:55p Alberta presented me the drink.
8:05p The roll was called. In attendance: TNSC Robot, Linkey-Loo Coordinator, Porn Title of the Week Coordinator, Lee Lee The Musical Bee, Founding Member Mr. Metsker, Honorary Founding Member Mr. Genser, Defacto Founding Memeber Mr. Lindo, Adjunct Founding Member Mr. Porter, Lieutenant Founding Member Miss Wilson, Junior Founding Member Spark, Founding Member At Large Mr. Fassberg, State-Sponsored Founding Member Mr. Stillman, A Dingo Ate My Baby-Inspired Founding Member Mr. Kaphan, Honorary Founding Member Candidates Mr. Bell, Miss Borges, Mr. Vila and Doktor-Colonel (Ret.) Founding Member Mrs. Alan J. Chimenti.
8:07p Honorary Founding Member Mr. Gross was to have officiated the TNSC Flag Ceremony, but as there is no flag, no TNSC Flag Ceremony and Honorary Founding Member Mr. Gross is in the Far East, nothing happened.
8:10p The floor was opened for proposals.
8:11p Mr. Stillman, Mr. Bell, Mr. Vila and Mr. Lindo queued for drinks.
8:37p Nothing was proposed.
8:50p Nothing was seconded.
9:24p No one voted.
10:34 Mr. Stillman, Mr. Bell, Mr. Vila and Mr. Lindo ordered drinks.
11:02 Mr. Stillman, Mr. Bell, Mr. Vila and Mr. Lindo received their drinks.
11:25p The TNSC Minutes Recorder was damaged by a spilled adult beverage.
11:59p By Rule, The SUMMIT was ended.
Tonight - The Homestead. Folsom & 19th.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
3.4.2k5
Minutes from last week's TNSC SUMMIT.
7:45p The Summit was unofficially called to order.
7:47p Alberta began preparing a drink with apple slices and tequila.
7:55p Alberta presented me the drink.
8:05p The roll was called. In attendance: TNSC Robot, Linkey-Loo Coordinator, Porn Title of the Week Coordinator, Lee Lee The Musical Bee, Founding Member Mr. Metsker, Honorary Founding Member Mr. Genser, Defacto Founding Memeber Mr. Lindo, Adjunct Founding Member Mr. Porter, Lieutenant Founding Member Miss Wilson, Junior Founding Member Spark, Founding Member At Large Mr. Fassberg, State-Sponsored Founding Member Mr. Stillman, A Dingo Ate My Baby-Inspired Founding Member Mr. Kaphan, Honorary Founding Member Candidates Mr. Bell, Miss Borges, Mr. Vila and Doktor-Colonel (Ret.) Founding Member Mrs. Alan J. Chimenti.
8:07p Honorary Founding Member Mr. Gross was to have officiated the TNSC Flag Ceremony, but as there is no flag, no TNSC Flag Ceremony and Honorary Founding Member Mr. Gross is in the Far East, nothing happened.
8:10p The floor was opened for proposals.
8:11p Mr. Stillman, Mr. Bell, Mr. Vila and Mr. Lindo queued for drinks.
8:37p Nothing was proposed.
8:50p Nothing was seconded.
9:24p No one voted.
10:34 Mr. Stillman, Mr. Bell, Mr. Vila and Mr. Lindo ordered drinks.
11:02 Mr. Stillman, Mr. Bell, Mr. Vila and Mr. Lindo received their drinks.
11:25p The TNSC Minutes Recorder was damaged by a spilled adult beverage.
11:59p By Rule, The SUMMIT was ended.
Tonight - The Homestead. Folsom & 19th.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Marsh Mallon
3.3.2k5
I swear I don't know what it is about the people in San Francisco and their inability to stand on the sidewalk and wait for the light to turn to cross the street. If a guy or gal is lookin' to jaywalk it's one thing, but at every goddamn intersectio, there's a few fuckers that step off the curb and stare at the walk/don't walk sign with no intention of jaywalking. They DON'T look to see there's no one speeding toward them or taking the turn fast and tight. And I been walking and biking around SF for ten-fuck years now and I can affirm that drivers speed and take turns tight.
How many of these idiots been run over, hit or killed? I dunno. Lots, I bet, and you ask me I'd say FUCK 'EM. Doorknobs that stand in traffic deserve what they get.
Whoa! How's that for a rant? Here's another:
I take the bus home across the bridge. People queue up to wait at the TransBay Terminal at First and Mission. Sometimes there's a long line, sometimes it is short. I tend to keep my ears and eyes open most of the time and pay attention to shit. If someone looks like they're gonna puke, I stand somewhere else. So I'm queued up in a longish line a few months back and someone hacks a quasi-cough. It sounded a lot like a gag. I thought to myself, "I hope that leper covered his or her mouth." GAAACCKKKHH. The fucker does it again. The next thought I have is, "Oh great, some dick has whooooooooooping cough and I'm getting stuck on a bus with him." Every few minutes the scumbag gags and after a while I pick her out. Normalish looking lady. Pea-green iPod Mini. And a fucking annoying gag. The bus comes and I sit far away from her and open the window in my face.
THE NEXT day and for days, weeks and months later, the bitch's gag doesn't clear up. I know she's gonna get me sick so one day I walk up and hand her a bag of Fisherman's Friend coughdrops. "What's this," she said. "What do you think, Mary, that goddamn cough-gag-thing you can't shake. Me and the rest of the pilgrims on this heap would prefer not to be coughed on every night. And mebbe you should get some doctor to have a look at yr disease." She said, "Who's Mary?"
Tonight - The Orbit Room.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
Just to clarify, tonight is AC's Summit to determine the future of TNSC. Be there!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
3.3.2k5
I swear I don't know what it is about the people in San Francisco and their inability to stand on the sidewalk and wait for the light to turn to cross the street. If a guy or gal is lookin' to jaywalk it's one thing, but at every goddamn intersectio, there's a few fuckers that step off the curb and stare at the walk/don't walk sign with no intention of jaywalking. They DON'T look to see there's no one speeding toward them or taking the turn fast and tight. And I been walking and biking around SF for ten-fuck years now and I can affirm that drivers speed and take turns tight.
How many of these idiots been run over, hit or killed? I dunno. Lots, I bet, and you ask me I'd say FUCK 'EM. Doorknobs that stand in traffic deserve what they get.
Whoa! How's that for a rant? Here's another:
I take the bus home across the bridge. People queue up to wait at the TransBay Terminal at First and Mission. Sometimes there's a long line, sometimes it is short. I tend to keep my ears and eyes open most of the time and pay attention to shit. If someone looks like they're gonna puke, I stand somewhere else. So I'm queued up in a longish line a few months back and someone hacks a quasi-cough. It sounded a lot like a gag. I thought to myself, "I hope that leper covered his or her mouth." GAAACCKKKHH. The fucker does it again. The next thought I have is, "Oh great, some dick has whooooooooooping cough and I'm getting stuck on a bus with him." Every few minutes the scumbag gags and after a while I pick her out. Normalish looking lady. Pea-green iPod Mini. And a fucking annoying gag. The bus comes and I sit far away from her and open the window in my face.
THE NEXT day and for days, weeks and months later, the bitch's gag doesn't clear up. I know she's gonna get me sick so one day I walk up and hand her a bag of Fisherman's Friend coughdrops. "What's this," she said. "What do you think, Mary, that goddamn cough-gag-thing you can't shake. Me and the rest of the pilgrims on this heap would prefer not to be coughed on every night. And mebbe you should get some doctor to have a look at yr disease." She said, "Who's Mary?"
Tonight - The Orbit Room.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
Just to clarify, tonight is AC's Summit to determine the future of TNSC. Be there!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, March 09, 2006
And then?
3.2.2k5
Everyone says how much they hate Southwest Airlines: The long lines; the cattle-call free-for-all for seats; the unwashed masses. These are but a few of the things that make people hate it. I got no problem with SWA. They have planes that can go nonstop from the West Coast to Chicago. If ya book early enough, the flight is dirt cheap. The free flights come quickly, and they give you free drink tickets with every free flight. What's not to like.
People still say they hate it, though. I guess they hate it but fly it anyway, because for my annual trip to Spring Training baseball in Arizona I had to fly America West Airlines cuz all the cheap seats on SWA were gone and I was not gonna pay $1000 to fry OAK to PHX.
Oh and Am. West was SUCH a step up. Wow. It had, um ... unbelievable advantages over SW. Uh ... oh yeh! They had seat assignments! I got 12C (aisle) and my wife got 12B (middle). Fantastic! Only thing is we had different boarding grooooops. Stupid! And they boarded folks from all over the plane at the same time. Not first seats first, last last, last first, or whatever. Nope. I mean jeez. They might well have had Southwest's so-called "open seating."
And the class of people were such a welcome change from the mangy fucks from the budget airline. Some of these people had t-shirts without big johnson's or Cabo Wabo logos on them. Upper-upper crust, I'm tellin' ya. And the kicker - the thing that smacked me and said, "this here's some sophisticated folks," is the comments made by a beautiful couple of people making their way to row 16 or something. Passing me while looking for bin space for their luggage, the lady turned to the man trailing her and said, "Wow. Somebody actually put a BACKPACK in the overhead bin." To which the man said, "Huh. Sure looks that way."
I put the fucking backpack up there. I didn't see the sign that said, NO BACKPACKS. HERMES, COACH OR BETTER LUGGAGE ONLY. I suggested aloud to the people that they might charter their next flight so as not to be burdened with people putting backpacks in the place to put backpacks. The man opened his mouth to say something and I vomited on him. I excused myself and said I have a condition called Tarmac Airsickness and offered him my handkerchief. He declined.
OH! And the beers cost five bucks! SWA's beers are only four!
Tonight - Eagles Drift-In.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
3.2.2k5
Everyone says how much they hate Southwest Airlines: The long lines; the cattle-call free-for-all for seats; the unwashed masses. These are but a few of the things that make people hate it. I got no problem with SWA. They have planes that can go nonstop from the West Coast to Chicago. If ya book early enough, the flight is dirt cheap. The free flights come quickly, and they give you free drink tickets with every free flight. What's not to like.
People still say they hate it, though. I guess they hate it but fly it anyway, because for my annual trip to Spring Training baseball in Arizona I had to fly America West Airlines cuz all the cheap seats on SWA were gone and I was not gonna pay $1000 to fry OAK to PHX.
Oh and Am. West was SUCH a step up. Wow. It had, um ... unbelievable advantages over SW. Uh ... oh yeh! They had seat assignments! I got 12C (aisle) and my wife got 12B (middle). Fantastic! Only thing is we had different boarding grooooops. Stupid! And they boarded folks from all over the plane at the same time. Not first seats first, last last, last first, or whatever. Nope. I mean jeez. They might well have had Southwest's so-called "open seating."
And the class of people were such a welcome change from the mangy fucks from the budget airline. Some of these people had t-shirts without big johnson's or Cabo Wabo logos on them. Upper-upper crust, I'm tellin' ya. And the kicker - the thing that smacked me and said, "this here's some sophisticated folks," is the comments made by a beautiful couple of people making their way to row 16 or something. Passing me while looking for bin space for their luggage, the lady turned to the man trailing her and said, "Wow. Somebody actually put a BACKPACK in the overhead bin." To which the man said, "Huh. Sure looks that way."
I put the fucking backpack up there. I didn't see the sign that said, NO BACKPACKS. HERMES, COACH OR BETTER LUGGAGE ONLY. I suggested aloud to the people that they might charter their next flight so as not to be burdened with people putting backpacks in the place to put backpacks. The man opened his mouth to say something and I vomited on him. I excused myself and said I have a condition called Tarmac Airsickness and offered him my handkerchief. He declined.
OH! And the beers cost five bucks! SWA's beers are only four!
Tonight - Eagles Drift-In.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Cough..Cough
3.1.2k6
Avoid Bronchitis or Avian Flu by going to The Attic.
Have the lovely bartendress mix you up some "Brass Monkey" shots. Or whatever they're called. Mathias Genser knows. You won't be sorry.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
3.1.2k6
Avoid Bronchitis or Avian Flu by going to The Attic.
Have the lovely bartendress mix you up some "Brass Monkey" shots. Or whatever they're called. Mathias Genser knows. You won't be sorry.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
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