10.1.2kX

Since about May, when the Cubs flatlined, baseball has been pretty uninteresting to me. But the start of the postseason, which I can feel in my bones, is upon us, and just now on the iTunes a Liz Phair song came on. It was off her decent WHITECHOCOLATESPACEEGG record and the song, and the feel of baseball in me bones reminded me of a funny story.

Several of us were in my sister's red car, appropriately named "Super Honda." We were rolling into Candlestick suckass Park for a Cubs @ Giants game. The stupid parking lot there had miles of chainlink and only a few openings. Bishop jockeyed Super Honda into a line that was about ten cars back from the entrance. As she got in queue, a black lady "usher" of sorts, who had the longest goddamn gussied-up fingernails I'd ever seen, started wagging one of them menacingly at us.

"No no no! No cuts! Git outta line," she scolded. She had an orange vest and some patches and ID badges hanging off it, so she had some authority, but we were not intimidated. Especially Bishop. She was having none of it.

"Cuts? What are you talking about? We're in traffic: It's called a 'merge,' not 'cuts.' Besides, where does it say anywhere, 'no merging,' or, excuse me, 'no cuts?' Huh? Tell me that. Where's this rule posted?" She was on a tear.

"The people behind you been waiting. You can't cut in there," the attendant said.

"The people behind me let me merge, ma'am," Bishop said.

"No. Git outta line. You ain't going through," the attendant said. She remained obstinate.

"So where am I supposed to go," Bishop asked, "How do we get in?"

"Go up around there," said the attendant, pointing a fingernail toward the outer ring of cars, "go up around there and go to the next entrance."

"Up around there, eh?" Bishop asked, pointing to where the attendant pointed, "go up around there?"

"Yes."

"Okay!" Bishop said, and GUNNED IT toward the verboten entrance!"

As Bishop had stopped Super Honda to get yelled at, all the cars in front of us made it to and through the entrance. Bishop saw her chance and went for it. Fingernails was aghast! "Hey! HEY!! No, no, no! Get ... Hey!!" she yelled as she kinda jogged toward us.

Those of us in the car were surprised too. It was hilarious and we howled with laughter.

Tonight - Lucky 13.

Go Giants!!!


bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!