2.4.2kXII
tool |toōl|
noun
One who lacks the mental capacity to know he is being used. A fool. A cretin. Characterized by low intelligence and/or self-esteem: Because Josh let me down once again, he clearly is a tool.
Tonight - Homestead. Yay!!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Becket Redux
2.3.2kXI
Fer better or worse, computers are quite crucial to my life. Communication, entertainment, research, news, "relaxation," and my CAREER have computers as the key component. I'm really happy with my home computer setup. I got a slick, fast, feature-rich PowerBook that runs a fantastic operating system. I got a huge storage drive that currently has about 50 days-worth of music. And I got a phone, a camera and another gadget that play nicely with the computer.
I'm not having the same joy with my work computer. Sure it's fast and the applications work as they're intended to, but dealing with the Windows OS has always bummed me out. Recently there's one particular thing about the Windows experience that kills me: The "Windows Button."
If you don't know of the "Windows Button," it's fairly simply explained. One button to the left and to the right of the spacebar is the "Windows Button." Pressing it one gets booted out of the application they are in and presented with the "Start Menu" that contains shortcuts to applications. Ok, on the surface it's a fine idea. A hard-wired shortcut that MS knows by god that its customers NEED. Realistically, though, it sucks. It sucks because when one augments their primary input device (in my case a Wacom pressure-sensitive graphics tablet and stylus) with the keyboard to quickly change tools, the "Windows Button" is strategically located to get in the way. My work demands attention, concentration, focus and precision. I cannot afford to break concentration by looking down at my keyboard, let alone be totally derailed by accidentally touching the "Windows Button" when trying to press CTL or ALT and being presented with a shortcut to MY DOCUMENTS. It's retarded. It needs to go.
So I'm putting a call out to a List Member. I can't remember who it was but they had a kid. A clever kid. A young lad that will be going places in his life. This kid modified his daddy's computer's keyboard. And I'm talkin' CUSTOM mod. And with a non-standard tool: His SHOE! This kid extracted the Z key from his dad's computer with his shoe. I need to rent that kid and his shoe to get over here and rid me of this "Windows Button."
Will no one rid me of this meddlesome button?
Tonight - Tosca Cafe
(cash only)
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Fer better or worse, computers are quite crucial to my life. Communication, entertainment, research, news, "relaxation," and my CAREER have computers as the key component. I'm really happy with my home computer setup. I got a slick, fast, feature-rich PowerBook that runs a fantastic operating system. I got a huge storage drive that currently has about 50 days-worth of music. And I got a phone, a camera and another gadget that play nicely with the computer.
I'm not having the same joy with my work computer. Sure it's fast and the applications work as they're intended to, but dealing with the Windows OS has always bummed me out. Recently there's one particular thing about the Windows experience that kills me: The "Windows Button."
If you don't know of the "Windows Button," it's fairly simply explained. One button to the left and to the right of the spacebar is the "Windows Button." Pressing it one gets booted out of the application they are in and presented with the "Start Menu" that contains shortcuts to applications. Ok, on the surface it's a fine idea. A hard-wired shortcut that MS knows by god that its customers NEED. Realistically, though, it sucks. It sucks because when one augments their primary input device (in my case a Wacom pressure-sensitive graphics tablet and stylus) with the keyboard to quickly change tools, the "Windows Button" is strategically located to get in the way. My work demands attention, concentration, focus and precision. I cannot afford to break concentration by looking down at my keyboard, let alone be totally derailed by accidentally touching the "Windows Button" when trying to press CTL or ALT and being presented with a shortcut to MY DOCUMENTS. It's retarded. It needs to go.
So I'm putting a call out to a List Member. I can't remember who it was but they had a kid. A clever kid. A young lad that will be going places in his life. This kid modified his daddy's computer's keyboard. And I'm talkin' CUSTOM mod. And with a non-standard tool: His SHOE! This kid extracted the Z key from his dad's computer with his shoe. I need to rent that kid and his shoe to get over here and rid me of this "Windows Button."
Will no one rid me of this meddlesome button?
Tonight - Tosca Cafe
(cash only)
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, February 09, 2012
I'm all lost.
2.3.2kXII
Among the no-hope causes I'm for, including fairness, the Chicago Cubs and world peace, I got a thing for honesty. I've said for many years that the only thing I hate more than a thief is a liar. Both have shit on honesty.
I bring this up because I had a reminder of just how crappy people are recently. A neighbor of mine has a gigantic orange tree in her yard. Her back yard. But it's along the fence facing the street, so a good half of the orange-producing part of it hangs over into her side, street-facing yard.
The neighborhood we live in seems to have been built before sidewalks were fashionable, so many street sides don't have sidewalks parallel to them; my neighbor's side yard is one of these stretches. So do the math: pedestrians trudge through her hard and, lo! Spy a juicy orange on a tree branch extending out over the fence. Many passers-by - you guessed it - help themselves.
Is it okay to pull over on a country road and snag a bushel of corn from a cornfield? Is it proper to pull a fish from someone's decorative pond, take it home and fry it up? Can you gather a bouquet of roses from someone's carefully manicured rose garden because they're within reach? Fuck no.
So one day last week I saw some fuckwit pulling down several oranges and went outside. I feed peanuts to the crows in my neighborhood and as I stepped out of the door, I noticed that there were three or four crows waiting for me, as they often do. So I ducked back in and grabbed a handful of peanuts, went back out, went through the back gate and stood in our driveway, tossing peanuts to the crows, who dove and fought each other for them.
The crows make a helluva racket during this peanut-frenzy and it caught the attention of the orange thief, who looked over and saw me looking right at her.
I said, "do you like my crows?"
She said, "they're your crows?"
"As much as those are your oranges, lady," I replied.
She sheepishly looked away, dropped the oranges and walked away.
I told my neighbor and she howled.
Tonight - By special request: Lucky 13.
Great beer, good pool, free popcorn. Winning!!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Among the no-hope causes I'm for, including fairness, the Chicago Cubs and world peace, I got a thing for honesty. I've said for many years that the only thing I hate more than a thief is a liar. Both have shit on honesty.
I bring this up because I had a reminder of just how crappy people are recently. A neighbor of mine has a gigantic orange tree in her yard. Her back yard. But it's along the fence facing the street, so a good half of the orange-producing part of it hangs over into her side, street-facing yard.
The neighborhood we live in seems to have been built before sidewalks were fashionable, so many street sides don't have sidewalks parallel to them; my neighbor's side yard is one of these stretches. So do the math: pedestrians trudge through her hard and, lo! Spy a juicy orange on a tree branch extending out over the fence. Many passers-by - you guessed it - help themselves.
Is it okay to pull over on a country road and snag a bushel of corn from a cornfield? Is it proper to pull a fish from someone's decorative pond, take it home and fry it up? Can you gather a bouquet of roses from someone's carefully manicured rose garden because they're within reach? Fuck no.
So one day last week I saw some fuckwit pulling down several oranges and went outside. I feed peanuts to the crows in my neighborhood and as I stepped out of the door, I noticed that there were three or four crows waiting for me, as they often do. So I ducked back in and grabbed a handful of peanuts, went back out, went through the back gate and stood in our driveway, tossing peanuts to the crows, who dove and fought each other for them.
The crows make a helluva racket during this peanut-frenzy and it caught the attention of the orange thief, who looked over and saw me looking right at her.
I said, "do you like my crows?"
She said, "they're your crows?"
"As much as those are your oranges, lady," I replied.
She sheepishly looked away, dropped the oranges and walked away.
I told my neighbor and she howled.
Tonight - By special request: Lucky 13.
Great beer, good pool, free popcorn. Winning!!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, February 02, 2012
3rd Time is a Charm
2.1.2kXII
A re-re-post from the past - but in case you're lacking for Super Bowl munchies, I will now share a recipe essential to all Lovely List Members: Frito™ Pie. It will make a dandy dish, for sure, and lure people back into your home for years to come.
Here we go.
Get you these ingredients: A sac of Fritos™ (original flavor); an onion (and chop it); two cans of chili; cheddar cheese (shred it); and some toppings for adding after cooking (pictured here: Tabasco™, sliced jalapenos and sour cream).
Grease and line a square baking dish (preferably glass). Put down a layer of Fritos™. Use 2/3 of the bag.
Layer on shredded cheddar to cover.
Gently layer on the chili so as not to disturb the Frito™ layer. Then add chopped onions.
Add the last 1/3 of the bag of Fritos™ and bake at 350º F for 25 - 30 minutes or until the Fritos™ brown and the chili is bubbly.
Remove from oven and top with more shredded cheese. Bake this or broil just to melt the cheese.
Dish out, top with goodness and eat the whole goddamn thing. It reheats well if ya can't eat it all at once.
Tonight - (new bar) Dear Mom
Cash only, so I'm told. Welcome back to the fray, Lake.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
A re-re-post from the past - but in case you're lacking for Super Bowl munchies, I will now share a recipe essential to all Lovely List Members: Frito™ Pie. It will make a dandy dish, for sure, and lure people back into your home for years to come.
Here we go.
Get you these ingredients: A sac of Fritos™ (original flavor); an onion (and chop it); two cans of chili; cheddar cheese (shred it); and some toppings for adding after cooking (pictured here: Tabasco™, sliced jalapenos and sour cream).
Grease and line a square baking dish (preferably glass). Put down a layer of Fritos™. Use 2/3 of the bag.
Layer on shredded cheddar to cover.
Gently layer on the chili so as not to disturb the Frito™ layer. Then add chopped onions.
Add the last 1/3 of the bag of Fritos™ and bake at 350º F for 25 - 30 minutes or until the Fritos™ brown and the chili is bubbly.
Remove from oven and top with more shredded cheese. Bake this or broil just to melt the cheese.
Dish out, top with goodness and eat the whole goddamn thing. It reheats well if ya can't eat it all at once.
Tonight - (new bar) Dear Mom
Cash only, so I'm told. Welcome back to the fray, Lake.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
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