5.5.2013
Last night's fantastic victory of the Blackhawks over the Scum (Red Wings) was particularly satisfying not because it was our third win in an elimination game in a row, nor was it because our probable game-winning goal with 1:47 remaining in regulation was waved-off by an atrocious penalty called behind the scoring play; it was particularly satisfying because our opponent was our arch rival, our mortal enemy, our nemesis, and it took everything we had to vanquish them to the post-season golf course. Or whatever they do in Sweden.
I told Alan that in the spirit of the Blackhawks' big playoff series win I would relate the story of me breaking the silence in a tomb-like Chicago Stadium during a Hawks game many years ago:
I was sitting with some friends at center ice (but about a million rows up) at a game against the Calgary Flames. The play was back-and-forth, exciting and fast-paced, but scoreless through the first period and then halfway through the second. That's when the star of the Flames, Theo Fleury, took a pass on a breakaway and beat our goalie high glove-side. Boo. Then I noticed something: The entire 20,000-person crowd at Old Chicago Stadium was silent. No one made a sound.
I took it upon myself to change that: I stood up, made a bullhorn with my hands and yelled, "BOOOOO!!" as loudly I could. The stadium was so quiet that a moment later, the echo of my "BOOOO!" sounded off the far wall and came back to me ... and everyone at center ice a million rows up. They all heard it and looked at me (since I was the only one standing) and I could tell they enjoyed the echo as much as the sentiment. Many of them added their own BOOS and a moment later the entire stadium voiced their displeasure at the Flames' goal. My pals and many others in my section - for the remainder of the game - congratulated me for breaking the awkward silence.
Tonight - Homestead.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Puffy Yumi Umi
5.4.2013
I'm sitting here trying to finish a couple things before I go snag Ez, lace up our skates and hit the ice. I raise my right hand to cover a sneeze and I graze the front of my T-shirt and come up with some weird-looking funky goop. Ah shit! What in Hell is this? Did I sneeze a big boogie right on the front of my shirt (I've done that before, many times)? This stuff doesn't look like big boogie:
Again, What in HELL is it? Is that BLOOD in there? Fuck.
Oh wait. It's this
with a shitload of this
in it.
I had a pre-burrito snack a while back and I must have slobbed a blob of it on my shirt. I'm classy, ain't I?
Tonight - Lucky 13.
Do you like my sausage-y fingers?
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
I'm sitting here trying to finish a couple things before I go snag Ez, lace up our skates and hit the ice. I raise my right hand to cover a sneeze and I graze the front of my T-shirt and come up with some weird-looking funky goop. Ah shit! What in Hell is this? Did I sneeze a big boogie right on the front of my shirt (I've done that before, many times)? This stuff doesn't look like big boogie:
Oh wait. It's this
with a shitload of this
in it.
I had a pre-burrito snack a while back and I must have slobbed a blob of it on my shirt. I'm classy, ain't I?
Tonight - Lucky 13.
Do you like my sausage-y fingers?
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Juan's Goat: More coffee rants.
5.3.2013
In January of this year, social media erupted with the story that Dunkin' Donuts' CEO announced the company was expanding into Southern California. People were going apeshit about it. I love a good donut (and I like spelling it that way), sure, but most postings, and indeed the CEO's press release itself noted that most people were clamoring for Dunkin' Donuts coffee.
Since I've lived in California for - shit - 17 years, it's been quite a while since I've had donuts, coffee or anything else from Dunkin' Donuts, so I took it for granted that their coffee was a step up from other donut shops' godless, soulless, horrible coffee. Some day I thought I'd look into it.
That day came a week or so back on my Little Family's last day of our Florida trip. We were driving around Cocoa Beach and passed a Dunkin' Donuts. I asked my Little Wife if we could stop in and she agreed. I got a chocolate-frosted, chocolate cake donut for her, a heart-shaped "brownie batter" donut for Ez and a SOUR CREAM donut and a large Dunkin' Donuts coffee for me. God damn but my donut was good! Holy shit. And on the flipside: God damn but my large coffee was bad: It was burnt! It wasn't all that great beyond being burnt, but it was burnt! They served up everyone on that same "pot" World-Famous Dunkin' Donuts burnt goddamn coffee. Suck it, Dunkin' Donuts.
So because I tend to obsess a bit about things like this, I snagged a vacuum-sealed pound of "Dunkin' Donuts Whole Bean (Original Blend)" coffee from the Von's the other day. I ground up a batch, brewed it up and poured a cup. Uh ... Not good. Experiment over. I'm back to Peet's and I can't say that curiosity won't again get the best of me, but I'm here to stay.
Tonight - by request - Minibar
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
In January of this year, social media erupted with the story that Dunkin' Donuts' CEO announced the company was expanding into Southern California. People were going apeshit about it. I love a good donut (and I like spelling it that way), sure, but most postings, and indeed the CEO's press release itself noted that most people were clamoring for Dunkin' Donuts coffee.
Since I've lived in California for - shit - 17 years, it's been quite a while since I've had donuts, coffee or anything else from Dunkin' Donuts, so I took it for granted that their coffee was a step up from other donut shops' godless, soulless, horrible coffee. Some day I thought I'd look into it.
That day came a week or so back on my Little Family's last day of our Florida trip. We were driving around Cocoa Beach and passed a Dunkin' Donuts. I asked my Little Wife if we could stop in and she agreed. I got a chocolate-frosted, chocolate cake donut for her, a heart-shaped "brownie batter" donut for Ez and a SOUR CREAM donut and a large Dunkin' Donuts coffee for me. God damn but my donut was good! Holy shit. And on the flipside: God damn but my large coffee was bad: It was burnt! It wasn't all that great beyond being burnt, but it was burnt! They served up everyone on that same "pot" World-Famous Dunkin' Donuts burnt goddamn coffee. Suck it, Dunkin' Donuts.
So because I tend to obsess a bit about things like this, I snagged a vacuum-sealed pound of "Dunkin' Donuts Whole Bean (Original Blend)" coffee from the Von's the other day. I ground up a batch, brewed it up and poured a cup. Uh ... Not good. Experiment over. I'm back to Peet's and I can't say that curiosity won't again get the best of me, but I'm here to stay.
Tonight - by request - Minibar
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, May 09, 2013
Save our planet: It's the only one with beer
5.2.2013
My little family and I went to Florida last week to visit kin. Florida! Bugs, Space Centers, beaches, crazy weather, pools, dipshit people, gators and beers from Pittsburgh.
I know some lovely people who hail from or live in Florida. It also has some really beautiful birds, creatures and landscapes. Here is a swamp that I walked around in with my little family:
Another feature is that, unlike California, its ocean is warm. Also unlike California - and something that completely surprised me - Florida drivers KNOW HOW TO DRIVE. Especially on highways!
Yes! People drive on the right and pass on the left. People move over when there are vehicles stopped on the shoulder. People let people merge. People use their turn signals.
I used to think that most Floridians that weren't college students, retirees or theme park employees were a bunch of weird, swamp-dwelling rednecks. I still think that, but now I think they're weird, swamp-dwelling rednecks that have excellent driving habits.
Tonight - Lone Palm
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
My little family and I went to Florida last week to visit kin. Florida! Bugs, Space Centers, beaches, crazy weather, pools, dipshit people, gators and beers from Pittsburgh.
I know some lovely people who hail from or live in Florida. It also has some really beautiful birds, creatures and landscapes. Here is a swamp that I walked around in with my little family:
Another feature is that, unlike California, its ocean is warm. Also unlike California - and something that completely surprised me - Florida drivers KNOW HOW TO DRIVE. Especially on highways!
Yes! People drive on the right and pass on the left. People move over when there are vehicles stopped on the shoulder. People let people merge. People use their turn signals.
I used to think that most Floridians that weren't college students, retirees or theme park employees were a bunch of weird, swamp-dwelling rednecks. I still think that, but now I think they're weird, swamp-dwelling rednecks that have excellent driving habits.
Tonight - Lone Palm
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, May 02, 2013
Who can you trust? (Redux)
5.1.2013
It's always helpful to know different approaches to difficult situations. Like hangovers for example. Mebbe you've tried and tried but just can't find a way to alleviate the effects of yr fun the night before. I solicited five-or-so List Members and collected their "cures." Next time yr in a bind and gotta get up for 9am dailies (often in my case) or catch the early bus while feeling like hell try one of these:
Anonymous List Member 1.
Date of hangover: Damn....I really can't remember the "last" one.
Cure: Water, aspirin, coffee (lots of it) water, aspirin, coffee (spiked) water, aspirin, coffee, bloody, beer
Effectiveness: Medium
Anonymous List Member 2.
Date of hangover: Specific date was April 29.
Cure: I alleviated it by brewing a large pot of coffee and slaughtering approximately 9,253 Nazis in a three-hour period. I also would ocassionally pet Dave Revis's dog, Heidi.
Effectiveness: High
Anonymous List Member 3.
Date of hangover: I guess it was during the 70's.
Cure: As well as I can remember, it just wore off with the passing of time. It involved headache and there was no playing the puke-a-lele.
Effectiveness: Low
Anonymous List Member 4.
Date of hangover: Last week.
Cure: Fried egg and bacon sandy, green or red GatorAde, TCPPWD (thin-crust pepperoni pizza well-done) Margarita on rocks w/ salt.
Effectiveness: Wishful thinking
Anonymous List Member 5.
Date of hangover: the last one that stands out is new year's eve. not drunk, but not well.
Cure: what i did to alleviate the symptom? grovel.
Effectiveness: n/a
Anonymous List Member 6.
Date of hangover: This Monday.
Cure: Went to work and had to grin and bare it. Soon as I got off work I went and had a few slices of pizza and a couple shots and beers.
Effectiveness: None
Anonymous List Member 6.
Date of hangover: it's the last time you were here, that Saturday.. the worst hangover, nothing could help.. or so I thought... I puked about four times on my empty stomach.. can I eat?, I should eat?.
Cure: ate a banana, puked it, but there are worse things to taste a second time than a banana. and then it was as though the sky split open, and the angels came floating down, and when they did they were in the form of my Man and he was holding bags of food... from Taco Bell. I had a chicken quesadilla-no sauce and a giant diet mystery soda (you know the ones that are so bad, they just taste like a mixture of soda flavors) and I was semi cured..
Effectiveness: Semi
There you have it. Go try each one. Get back to me.
Tonight - The Orbit Room
Special guests from near and far!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
It's always helpful to know different approaches to difficult situations. Like hangovers for example. Mebbe you've tried and tried but just can't find a way to alleviate the effects of yr fun the night before. I solicited five-or-so List Members and collected their "cures." Next time yr in a bind and gotta get up for 9am dailies (often in my case) or catch the early bus while feeling like hell try one of these:
Anonymous List Member 1.
Date of hangover: Damn....I really can't remember the "last" one.
Cure: Water, aspirin, coffee (lots of it) water, aspirin, coffee (spiked) water, aspirin, coffee, bloody, beer
Effectiveness: Medium
Anonymous List Member 2.
Date of hangover: Specific date was April 29.
Cure: I alleviated it by brewing a large pot of coffee and slaughtering approximately 9,253 Nazis in a three-hour period. I also would ocassionally pet Dave Revis's dog, Heidi.
Effectiveness: High
Anonymous List Member 3.
Date of hangover: I guess it was during the 70's.
Cure: As well as I can remember, it just wore off with the passing of time. It involved headache and there was no playing the puke-a-lele.
Effectiveness: Low
Anonymous List Member 4.
Date of hangover: Last week.
Cure: Fried egg and bacon sandy, green or red GatorAde, TCPPWD (thin-crust pepperoni pizza well-done) Margarita on rocks w/ salt.
Effectiveness: Wishful thinking
Anonymous List Member 5.
Date of hangover: the last one that stands out is new year's eve. not drunk, but not well.
Cure: what i did to alleviate the symptom? grovel.
Effectiveness: n/a
Anonymous List Member 6.
Date of hangover: This Monday.
Cure: Went to work and had to grin and bare it. Soon as I got off work I went and had a few slices of pizza and a couple shots and beers.
Effectiveness: None
Anonymous List Member 6.
Date of hangover: it's the last time you were here, that Saturday.. the worst hangover, nothing could help.. or so I thought... I puked about four times on my empty stomach.. can I eat?, I should eat?.
Cure: ate a banana, puked it, but there are worse things to taste a second time than a banana. and then it was as though the sky split open, and the angels came floating down, and when they did they were in the form of my Man and he was holding bags of food... from Taco Bell. I had a chicken quesadilla-no sauce and a giant diet mystery soda (you know the ones that are so bad, they just taste like a mixture of soda flavors) and I was semi cured..
Effectiveness: Semi
There you have it. Go try each one. Get back to me.
Tonight - The Orbit Room
Special guests from near and far!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
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