Idiots!

5.1.2014

I quit smoking on this day in 2005.  KRAZY!

That reminded me of the time in high school when my pals Phil, Phil and I were bored and decided to go swimming at the local resort pool.  It was late at night and in those days, resort security wasn't what it is today, so it was easy to walk in and hop in one of several pools - as long as you looked like you belonged there.  That night we took that "looking/acting like we belonged there" to a new level.

Quickly tiring with the pool, we started walking around the resort grounds, and soon found an arcade!  It had several games, all kinda old, but Hell, it had full-sized video games.  We did have a couple bucks among us but we discovered the machines all ran on tokens.  Shit!  Wait, let's go to the front desk and ask for tokens!

A sleepy-looking clerk said, "okay," and went in the back to look for some.  That's when Phil reached over the counter and snagged a key from a row of keys.  (Yes, this was long ago when hotels and resorts used keys.)  We got the tokens and went back to the arcade and used them all.

"Anything left?" Phil asked.

"Just the key," Phil said, so we checked it out.  It had a room number printed on it.  (Yes, this was long ago when hotels and resorts used keys and printed room numbers on them.)  So we did the smart thing and went in search of the room.

Not finding the room, we were about to give up when a gardener in a golf cart pulled up.  We asked him where our room was and he obliged by giving us a ride there.  It was a villa.  A two-story, three bedroom townhouse out in the "villa" section of the resort.  Holy crap.

We knocked on the door and waited.  Nothing.  We found a house phone and called.  No answer.  We repeated this process until we decided it was empty, then we used the key.  It worked.  The place was empty.  Clean, big and empty.  Nothing in it but a fully-stocked liquor cabinet.  Could this get any better?  Yes, because the room key opened the liquor cabinet.  Using all the pillow cases in the place, we liberated every bottle in it.  It was like Christmas.

It was a lot like Christmas because three dipshits with Santa bags full of clanky bottles started trudging home.  Jesus.  It took a block or two to figure out that we'd never make it, so we stashed our Santa sacks in a dirt lot next to a model home and "camouflaged" them with tumbleweeds and stuff, intending on returning the next day with a car to pick them up.

The next day, we cut our friend Phil in (he got 1/4 of the haul) because he had wheels.  We all drove over and were pulling up when we saw the realtor of the model home setting up for the day.  We watched as one of her flags blew away from her.  We watched as the wind carried the flag into the field as she followed it.  We saw the wind carry the flag right to our stash.  We watched as she came to our stash.  We heard her say, "Oh my."

We drove away.



Tonight - Il Pirata
If were not in the bar area, be sure to check the back patio.  We'll be partying with the raccoons. 


bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!