Goodbye to You

5.1.2014


Happy Last Day of School, yo!  That's right, LAUSD's FRANZ SCHUBERT ELEMENTARY is concluding its class schedules today, "graduating" its 5th graders to oblivion, moving all the grades up one, flipping off the lights and locking up the doors for the summer.  Our 50 lb. robot goes from K to 1.  The year absolutely blew by.

So what do you do when you conclude a grade, project or season?  Have a party, that's what.  Our ever-helpful room mother made a big 'ol sign-up sheet for things for parents to bring.  She filled it out with the usual kid-friendly items: Pretzels, cupcakes, pizza (small slices), Golfish® crackers, juice boxes, cookies, water, napkins, paper plates and so on.  We've done several of these potluck parties for tots before and have a plan:  Sign up for a single, simple item and then check the chart just before the party to see if there are no takers for napkins or something, then get that last item.  When we checked, the whole list was filled out, so we were just going to bring our already-purchased big goddamn container of Goldfish® crackers.

On the day of the party, Ez proudly hauled the big goddamn container of Goldfish® crackers in to school.  When we arrived at the Kindergarten, uh, garten, another little kid - Gideon or something -
was toting the same big goddamn container of Goldfish® crackers Ez had.  I said, "That's what we packed for Ez's lunch too!" to him and he said, "it's not lunch, it's for the party."  Some folks don't know a good one when he hears one.

Anyway, I thought it curious that there were two big goddamn containers of Goldfish® crackers brought to the party, but figured it was listed twice or the cupcakes didn't turn out or something.  I was wrong.

My Little Wife walked toward me with a blank look.  She had just checked the sign-up sheet and told me what she found.

"Oh my god.  Our names were ERASED from the sheet and Gideon and his mom's names were it their place," she said.  "They erased our fucking names and signed-up for what we were bringing."

I immediately cracked up laughing.  "You've got to be fucking kidding," I said, knowing she wasn't.  She could barely speak.

"What the fuck is up with that," she managed.  "Didn't they think we'd NOTICE?"

"Holy shit.  How stupid," I said.

Now there's a fair chance that Ez will be in the same class as Gideon next year and perhaps until they "graduate" from 5th grade, since the school is so small.  That makes it even more curious:  Do they think we won't forever remember this petty subterfuge?  Ez and Gideon weren't best friends or anything, but they were school pals and we were friendly with his and all the other kindergartener's parents.  Change comin' to that!

I told a few people the story already.  Two of them had the exact same initial reaction:

"Oh, COME ON!"

That's the perfect reaction to such a weird event.

Tonight - Orbit Room.


bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!