Black and Deck Her (REDUX)

12.3.2016 (first posted this week 2009)


Witnessing righteous mothering in action daily, what with my Little Wife throwing around mothering Ez Pez like a pro, I figure it's a good time to dig up a TRUE story of a mother doing some kick ASS mothering to combat a lousy mother's mothering from way back, nearly a meeelion years ago, sometime in the 1980s.

My neighbor's future convict, or "son," had a birthday and, being neighbors of the same age, I got to go give him a Chewbacca actio figure and get some cake and ice cream with a bunch of other little lunatics. It all went down like you can imagine: Screaming and yelling, cowboys and indians (or "coyotes and Border Patrol" as we played in the Desert Southwest), Jarts®, presents, and then cake and ice cream. I played the role of Milton from Office Space and, uh, got no cake and ice cream. Because I had a run-in with my neighbor's lousy mom a couple days earlier, I clammed-up and sat it out. No cake, no ice cream. No shit.

I must have casually mentioned the omission to my mom later that day. That's the only thing that explains why shitty-neighbor mom brought a slice of lousy cake and a scoop of melted ice cream over to my house. I think she asked why I didn't say anything at the time. I don't remember what I said, but I hope to fuck it was funny.

Tonight - Wooden Nickel

Robots wish Happy Birthday Drinkys to H.Founding Member Mathias Alonzo Genser and Novice Member Gaelan Thomas Alonzo Mundorff

Oh and for you archivists out there (Alan), the neighbor lady mentioned in the VA is indeed the one who got a penny stuck in her scalp. Yay, lawnmowers!

bye-ee!

whrr ... clik!