The Slider (REDUX)

9.4.2017  (first posted this week 2006)

Ya hear of the phenomenon of The Phantom Limb? Wikipedia succinctly defines it as "the sensation that an amputated or missing limb is still attached to the body." Sensations experienced include warmth, cold, itching, pain or burning. It's really quite interesting and research into it suggests that even those born without limbs still experience the sensations in the null-limb even though they have never had "real" experience. Wow. That's fuct up!

I've read up on (Googled) the condition because I've got a little phantom "limb" thing going on: I'm like every other voter in America who puts his or her sunglasses up on top of his or her head when ducking in the booth to waste his or her vote. I also chuck 'em up there when at the magazine store, the Peet's™ coffee queue, the cinema, the gas station pay kiosk, the ATM, the shooting range, the doctor's office, the Sonic Youth show at the Wiltern, the Cuban restaurant, the architecture tour ticket office, the TSA security check-in and so on and so on. My sunnys are on top of my head so often that I feel them there even when they're not.

That really screws me up when, for example, I think I hear the ice-cream man down the street to the right and whip my head around to look and -oh crap!- my glasses go flying. This has happened a lot: I'm often whipping my head around to see if the freelance (gypsy) fruit and veg van really is pulling down my block or if the critical care van (ambulance) is headed my way or if the Kool-Aid™ dude (Punchy™) is fixin' to crash through my wall. I've head-whipped many pairs of sunglasses to their doom. Now I'm afraid to do it. Now I feel them suckers up there morning, noon and night. In- and outdoors. I must see a professional (shrink) about this phantom sunglasses sensation soon.

Tonight - The Homestead.

bye-ee!

whrr ... clik! 

Sweep the Leg

9.3.2017

"Your driver-side brake light is out."

If someone pulled along side you and said that in such a way that you heard it, would you know what it meant - assuming you understood spoken English?

For reasons I do not fully understand, I often inform drivers that their tail lights are out when I see them out and can catch the driver.  (Since I'm almost always on my bike when I see blown out tail lights, I can't always catch the cars to inform the drivers.)

My ride to work takes me through residential neighborhoods that feature intersections with stop signs that sometimes drivers observe and comply with.  When I pull alongside a car and motioning for them to roll the window down, most have an, "uh oh, what'd I do to the bike guy?" -look on his or her face.  I see it every time and counter with a big, "you didn't do anything wrong" -smile.

When I tell them their brake light is out, they all thank me and rarely knew about it being out.  I think of this as a public service and a small way to help drivers not hate all bike riders.

A few weeks ago I spotted a blue Honda with a blown passenger-side brake light.  I happened to catch up to him because he pulled over to park or whatever.  I came along side, motioned for him to roll his window down - he gave me the look - and he very sheepishly rolled down his window - a lot more sheepishly than most.

I smiled at him and told him his passenger-side brake light was out.

He looked blankly at me.

I repeated myself.

He said, "what?"

I repeated myself again.

He said, "what does that mean?"

I said, "your car brake lights.  The red ones in the back.  They go on when you hit the brake pedal, right?"

He looked at me, doe-eyed.  He said, "what?"

I said, "it was on the driver's test.  Tell ya what.  Your brake light is out.  The cops give tickets for having brake lights that are out.  Take that for what you will."  I added, "Later!" and I left, shaking my head.

In "The Karate Kid" (1984, Columbia Pictures), the wise Okinawsn karate teacher gives his young karate student a car and says, "Remember, Danial-san, driver license does not replace eye, ear and brain."  Does any driver today realize that?

Tonight - Doc's Clock (new locatio 1 block away)
**still CASH ONLY**

bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!

Now it is 1985...

9.2.2017

I’m a big fan of Dead Kennedys so when the goddamn nazis in ‘Merica reared-up recently I immediately thought of the DK song, “Nazi Punks Fuck Off.”  Jello even joined the band Dead Cross onstage to render a new version of it for a live crowd:  “Nazi Trumps Fuck Off.” It sure is sad how that decades-old song is as true as ever.

And remember the large swath of ‘Mericans that got ‘ol 46 elected in the first place?  The disenfranchised working class ring a bell?  Yep, they feel betrayed because the times a-changed and they didn’t keep up.  But was it their fault?  Was it the factory owners and shareholders who were at fault?  Who cares?  However, Jello and them wrote about that very phenomenon in their song, “Soup Is Good Food” from the album “Frankenchrist.”  The song begins with these lyrics:

We're sorry
But you're no longer needed
Or wanted
Or even cared about here
Machines can do a better job than you
This is what you get for asking questions
The unions agree
'Sacrifices must be made'
Computers never go on strike
To save the working man you've got to put him out to pasture
Looks like we'll have to let you go
Doesn't it feel fulfilling to know
That you-the human being-are now obsolete
And there's nothing in hell we'll let you do about it

How spot-on is that?  More sad than the truth of the lyrics is that most of those in that situation probably doesn’t listen to Dead Kennedys.

Tonight - Sutter Station Tavern  (aka "Sutter Gutter")

bye-ee!

whrr ... clik!

Payback

9.1.2017

You know what I hate about weeks w/ federal holidays?
When you get in the next day you have to cram 6 days worth of work into 4 days.
If you feel like me, go here:
Tonight - Latin American Club

bye-ee!

whrr ... clik!