The Ring of Doom (REDUX)

10.3.2017 (first published this week 2004)

On the old airliner I can often be found pawing through the airline's free magazine. SWA's "Spirit," AA's "The American Way," or Delta's very cleverly named, "Sky" often give you seven to twelve minutes of mind-numbing reading. Really great stuff. I love checking on the ongoing war btwn the American Cattlemen's Association and the Beef Ranchers of America in their ads for the "Greatest Steak Joints in America." The ACA will swear that Jeb's B&G in Amarillo has the best T-Bone while the BRA attests, no, Phil's Chop City in Chicago wears the crown. It's funny. Check it.

Sky Mall is a riot, too. You need a fake rock to cover that unsightly DPW water meter in yr front lawn? Sky Mall's got it, and in two-three shapes and sizes, too! Anything you want: Booze, meat, fruit, plastic bag clips, a mini-submarine, an ice rink, a replica compass as featured in "Titanic," key warmers, electric umbrellas, U-make/U-eat Advent Calendars ... Sky Mall lacks nothing. I like leafing through and counting the kitties and puppies. And references to god. If there are more references to god than there are puppies and kitties I throw the thing down in disgust. The one thing Sky Mall lacks, though, are ads.

Anyone ever hear of "Zocor?" Breezed past an ad for it in "Spirit" without reading about it, but the name has stuck with me. I think it's some sorta drug ... mebbe for yr toenail fungus or yr itchy burney ass or mebbe it puts the fire back in yr firewood. To ME, "Zocor" sounds like the name of the ancient monster god from Beyond Space, who has come back to destroy the world! OK, lemme check and see ... ummmmmm ... nope. Zocor is a drug for yr shitty cholesterol levels. It's not the name of the evil demonic world-plunderer, back again after millennia, here to stomp cities and suck dry the oceans.

Tonight - Hemlock Tavern  (by request)
Note:  Punk Rock benefit show for North Bay Fire Relief  Portion of bar proceeds are added to the fund, so drink up for a good cause.  Donations also kindly accepted.  Info here.
 

No, sir, I am a real horse!



bye-ee!

whrr ... clik!