10.4.2018 (first published this week 2005)
When I lived in Chicago the city's professional basketball team, the Bulls (perhaps you've heard of them), were very good and won the championship several years in a row. Back then I gave a crap about basketball and it was really exciting to watch the games and feel the tension mount in the city and be rewarded with a fun, city-wide celebration.
The day that the Bulls won their second straight title I was sitting in a bar (surprise) hours before gametime having a cold beer. In walked the neighborhood's plainclothed cops came in and asked the big Serbian bartender when he was closing for the night. He told them 5 a.m., which is the normal closing time for Chicago bars. The cops said, "No, what time are you closing tonight?" The barkeep looked confused. "5?" he said. The bigger of the two big cops said, "You don't understand the question so I'll say it again: What time are you closing TONIGHT?" Something dawned on the bartender. "3 a.m.?" he said. The cop leaned in and said, "What did you say?" "Um ... I think I'm closing at 1 a.m. tonight," said the bartender. I nudged my roommate and said, "We need to stock the fridge cuz all the bars will be closed." I thought about it. "Probably a good idea," I said, looking at the cops. They were satisfied and said to the bartender on their way out, "see you at 1." I think Mil closed up at midnight.
Later that night my sister and I were saved from an exploding M-80 by a stranger. My ears rang for weeks.
Tonight - The Homestead
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, October 25, 2018
Thursday, October 18, 2018
Turkey (REDUX)
10.3.2018 (first posted this week 2001)
PalmPILOT let me down. I didn't know I had an appointment to pet and feed the cats at 4am. Surely I did, though, because they woke me up to remind me. They did it a bit less gracefully than PalmPILOT would have. PalmPILOT would have issued a polite "buh-da-beep, buh-da-beep," I would have blurrily read the display that said, "ALARM. 4am Pet/Feed Cats," and I would have petted and fed them. Fats and Mog, on the other hand, employed a slightly more invasive method of waking me: They stood on my head and howled. Ugh. The PalmPILOT's mode would have been preferred, but I guess I “forgot” to note the appointment.
Wouldn't that be great if you had a magic PalmPILOT that would schedule those difficult ones? I could see myself checking the calendar: "Lessee ... I got an appointment to get punched in the eye by some jackass at the park this Saturday." I'd look at that one and say, "uh, yeah. I think I'll be missing that." Or how about, “2pm, today, bump head really hard.” That would be great to skip. Then there are the bigger things: “Quit current job, get new one FAST; ride in NO cars today; do NOT eat that enchilada.” I’m sure that such a tricked out PalmPILOT would come in handy quite often.
(After all is said and done, I rather didn't mind getting woken up by the little jerks. I was having disturbing dreams about two people I don't care for who had shacked up together and dreams about a totally insolent and unapologetic asshole who resells AVIDS.)
PalmPILOT does have tonight’s venue noted:
The Final Final (by request)
News: As many may have gathered, the venerable Western Images has gone outta business, leaving many former and current employees eager to get together and laugh about the glory days. Tonight is the night. (The meeting ain’t exclusive to Western folks, of course.) Robot is hoping to recruit new list members.
Last Week’s Contest results: The VA's title, Laid, refered to "Laid Off, like we all were. However, other correct answers include, "euphemism for sex, also known as fucking, or getting fucked, like we are," and, "them IKEA bed slats." All good guesses, all winners.
TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBERS: All non-ex-Western employees.
PORN TITLE OF THE WEEK: (More Halloween fun) Hung Wankenstein
Last week's Annie's meeting brought a shit-ton of folks. I think tonight will bring more. Drink beer, do some networking. Bring your pals! I sure will!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
PalmPILOT let me down. I didn't know I had an appointment to pet and feed the cats at 4am. Surely I did, though, because they woke me up to remind me. They did it a bit less gracefully than PalmPILOT would have. PalmPILOT would have issued a polite "buh-da-beep, buh-da-beep," I would have blurrily read the display that said, "ALARM. 4am Pet/Feed Cats," and I would have petted and fed them. Fats and Mog, on the other hand, employed a slightly more invasive method of waking me: They stood on my head and howled. Ugh. The PalmPILOT's mode would have been preferred, but I guess I “forgot” to note the appointment.
Wouldn't that be great if you had a magic PalmPILOT that would schedule those difficult ones? I could see myself checking the calendar: "Lessee ... I got an appointment to get punched in the eye by some jackass at the park this Saturday." I'd look at that one and say, "uh, yeah. I think I'll be missing that." Or how about, “2pm, today, bump head really hard.” That would be great to skip. Then there are the bigger things: “Quit current job, get new one FAST; ride in NO cars today; do NOT eat that enchilada.” I’m sure that such a tricked out PalmPILOT would come in handy quite often.
(After all is said and done, I rather didn't mind getting woken up by the little jerks. I was having disturbing dreams about two people I don't care for who had shacked up together and dreams about a totally insolent and unapologetic asshole who resells AVIDS.)
PalmPILOT does have tonight’s venue noted:
The Final Final (by request)
News: As many may have gathered, the venerable Western Images has gone outta business, leaving many former and current employees eager to get together and laugh about the glory days. Tonight is the night. (The meeting ain’t exclusive to Western folks, of course.) Robot is hoping to recruit new list members.
Last Week’s Contest results: The VA's title, Laid, refered to "Laid Off, like we all were. However, other correct answers include, "euphemism for sex, also known as fucking, or getting fucked, like we are," and, "them IKEA bed slats." All good guesses, all winners.
TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBERS: All non-ex-Western employees.
PORN TITLE OF THE WEEK: (More Halloween fun) Hung Wankenstein
Last week's Annie's meeting brought a shit-ton of folks. I think tonight will bring more. Drink beer, do some networking. Bring your pals! I sure will!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, October 11, 2018
Prince Charm
10.2.2018
A reply to a TNSC post from this week 2003:
Anonymous said...
Tonight - Latin American Club (by request)
** CASH ONLY **
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
A reply to a TNSC post from this week 2003:
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Tonight - Latin American Club (by request)
** CASH ONLY **
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, October 04, 2018
Chez Jay Fave (REDUX)
10.1.2018. (first posted this week 2003)
Ya hear the one about the 12-year-old left home alone by some slacker parent? Survived on cocktail olives for three weeks? I heard about it. Read it in the paper not two days ago. I don't know what all the fuss is about. When me and my brother and sister were kids and got left alone we didn't have olives. We had to drink our martinis with twists. bleah!
Tonight - Hemlock Tavern
(last call for a TNSC fave - you've been good...)
Bring yr pals. Behave.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Ya hear the one about the 12-year-old left home alone by some slacker parent? Survived on cocktail olives for three weeks? I heard about it. Read it in the paper not two days ago. I don't know what all the fuss is about. When me and my brother and sister were kids and got left alone we didn't have olives. We had to drink our martinis with twists. bleah!
Tonight - Hemlock Tavern
(last call for a TNSC fave - you've been good...)
Bring yr pals. Behave.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
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