Thursday, November 29, 2018

Lima Bean (REDUX)

11.4.2018  (first posted this week 2001)


Back by pop-ee-lar demand, it’s the Thursday Night Social Club Venue Announcement!! If yer one to pay attention, you might have noticed that two whole weeks have gone by with no VA! Ayiiiieee! I reckon that’s the first time that’s happened in more than two years! Ya, sure, there was a holiday in there, but we usually have a not-so-secret Secret Meeting at the Owl Tree. Who knows? Mebbe there was one. This Founding Member was not remiss in his duty to hoist one or two last Thursday, and I’m sure y’all did too. Turkey Day is a great opportunity to hoist several, you ask me. You need one or two merely to take the edge off the travel. Or if you didn’t travel, you had the cooking. Or the parents. Or the sibs. Or the In-Laws. Or the Dee-Troit RockCity Lions game. It usedta be the Bears always played on Turkey Day, but that seems to have gone the way of the Dodo. Anyway, I enjoyed my Thanksgiving drinks in a land far from my own, where the holiday is seldom celebrated, even then only by ex-Pats or tourists. I hoisted my beers in Peru!

Boy was it cool! The weather was great and the Incan ruins were neat. The beer down there is named after the city it is brewed in. For example, the city of Cuzco served Cuzquena beer and the city of Arequipa served Arequipena. I’m not sure why we’re not doing that up here. If yer drinkin’ beer in a foreign land while on vacation or business, it’s handy to have a reminder of what town yer in right in your hand. “Let’s see … are we in Lima? Ollayantytambo? Urubamba? Oh (looking at beer bottle), we’re in Puno! Mmmmmmmm … this Punoquena sure is good.” Anyway … the trip was really wonderful, despite the frustration of the language barrier. I don’t speak the Espanol very well at all. I can form crude sentences and ask and answer generic tourist-speak questions, but aside from that I’m not too good. I had a semester of the Espanol back when I was a freshman in college and only a bit has stayed with me in the fifty-or-so years since then. I made a mess out of communication, but I documented my clumsiness to share with you today. What follows are some of the Spanglish sentences I said, crammed back into English. In the cases where I didn’t know the Spanish word, I did what every silly tourist does, I did me some word fabrication.

Hello. I am to be liking some beers, please.
Why is that wall with mildew?
Is this water of the tap?
Please, where is the bar (barro) in that town?
Thank you, no more guinea pig.
They are not with me.
Is this the National fruit?
She is true.
What is it? Beans? OK!
Please to open this bottle.
I have fire in the caboose.
I cannot buy this for fifty soles (Peruvian money). Sixty. (Haggling up the price.)
My name is Melissa.

I figure I’ll take me another class then go back and apologise. And I already know where the bar is.

Tonight - The Homestead
(Get out of those wet clothes and into a dry Martini)

News: One lovely list member had some problems and ended up going to Bing’s two weeks in a row because the VA had not changed. That is part Robots fault for not changing the page, but pls. be sure to note the date of the VA and if it’s last week’s date, it’s an old, outdated Venue Announcement. That said, sorry about the confusion.

TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: I would say that for Tonight’s Dramatic Reenactment we will collectively reenact the 23 1/2 hours of travel time it took to get from Arequipa, Peru to SF, USA, but it sucked, so let’s not.

TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: Jimi Simmons. A hell of a guy. Do you know him? You’re lucky if you do.

PORN TITLE OF THE WEEK: Pimped by an Angel


I'm sure you all have a lot of great Turkey Day stories to tell. Tonight's venue is a great place to share the hilarity. And after a two week drought of NO meetings, I'm sure you're all dying. I know I am. So c'mon out! Bring yer bumpershoots and bring yer pals. I know I will. See you there. bye-ee!



bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!

Thursday, November 15, 2018

Fuzzy (REDUX)

11.3.2018  (first posted this week 2004)

Ya ever hear the expression: "Those that care a lot, swear a lot." ?? No? Well I just now made it up, so no wonder. But since you now have, think on it for a bit. I swear an awful lot and I care about a lot of things. So it's true. Ain't it?  

Tonight - Stookey's Club Moderne

Ain't

Couple things:  It's TNSC founding member John Metsker's birthday.  Come early and celebrate!

Mr. Lucky and the Cocktail Party will be serenading us throughout the evening (7:30 - 10pm).  There is no cover charge, but please consider a suitable offering to the artist and musicians as they pass the hat around.


bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!

Thursday, November 08, 2018

Charles Tillman (REDUX)

11.2.2018  (first posted this week 2007)

Ya may remember my post from a few weeks back listing the various things I see on my ride to work. I'm ever on the lookout for cars and other hazards, so it makes sense that I've got my eyes open. Open eyes this am revealed an ugly little poop-brown dog at the junction of an alley perp. to the street I was on. Approaching closer, I expected to see someone standing further down the alley - the ugly little dog's mommy or daddy. I saw neither. The ugly dog didn't look lost or scared or anything other than an unleashed dog out for a walk. "Where's yr ma?" I yelled to the dog as I passed. A block later I approached a young Asian lady in a robe and slippers. She was saying "EEE-NUFF !? !! ??" "EEENUFF!!" I got closer and found that she was in fact saying, "Pea-nut!! Pea-nut!" and looking around frantically.

I said, "You lookin' for a little brown dog?" She said yes. 

"It's down the block past that chain-link and the alley," I said, and turned around to indicate further by pointing to where I saw the ugly little dog. She looked where I was pointing. "Down there?" she asked. "Yeah, right there ... wait ... there he is!" I said. The dog stepped out from behind the fence. "That ugly brown dog? Is that what you saw?" she asked, "that's not Peanut." I thought 1 lost dog +1 frantic owner equaled 1 happy reunion. Nope. All it equaled was another morning in the 'hood. 

Tonight - Royal Cuckoo
Get your B-3 on!!!  **CASH ONLY**


bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!

Thursday, November 01, 2018

No polling within 50 feet! (REDUX)

11.1.2018  (first posted this week 2000)


PROPOSITION TNDC

Shall the Thursday Night Social Club officially and finally change its name to the Thursday Night Drinking Club, and now and forevermore to be referred to by the initials "TNDC?"

THE WAY IT IS NOW: It's known as the Thursday Night Social Club.

THE PROPOSAL: Change it.

A "YES" VOTE MEANS: Change it.

A "NO" VOTE MEANS: Don't change it.

Former Unofficial TNSC Controller's Statement on "TNDC"

Former Unofficial TNSC Controller Mike "Rosey" Rosenberg has issued the following statement on the realistic impact of Proposition TNDC. Should the TNSC change its name to TNDC List Members would incur no financial responsibility at all. The Proposition doesn't have anything to do with money. It's a name change. It's semantics, really. Nothing to do about nothing. The real issue is being overlooked: That maps to meeting locations is vital for people who need hand-holding and should be required in the venue announcements. I propose a rider to the Proposition. Include a map in the venue announcement for the geographically challenged. Like myself.



How the Founding Members Voted on "TNDC"

Opposed: Susan "Dynamite" Smith, Alan "Mad Daddy" Chimenti, Josh "Cushy" Johnson

Abstaining: John "Trouble" Metsker



PROPONENT'S ARGUMENT IN FAVOR OF PROPOSITION TNDC

It's a drinking club. Call it what it is, people. Jesus.

-Drinking Club 2000 Foundation



REBUTTAL TO PROPONENT'S ARGUMENT IN FAVOR OF PROPOSITION TNDC

That's a stupid argument in favor.

-Tennessee Forever 2000



OPPONENT'S ARGUMENT AGAINST PROPOSITION TNDC

Some people don't drink at the SOCIAL CLUB, dipshits.

-Tennessee Forever 2000



REBUTTAL TO OPPONENT'S ARGUMENT AGAINST PROPOSITION TNDC

That's a stupid argument in favor. er, uh, against.

-Drinking Club 2000 Foundation



PAID ARGUMENT IN FAVOR OF PROPOSITION TNDC

The Founding Members are on dope and we've heard that barnyard animals have been seen leaving some of their homes late at night. Like people who torture dogs, these people are not to be trusted. Don't vote like they did.

-Paid for the Smear Tactics Worked in '88 Foundation 2000



PAID ARGUMENT AGAINST PROPOSITION TNDC

We have a legacy here, people, let's do the right thing and keep it real. Keep it at home. Keep it social.

-Paid for by the Keep It Real / Keep It Social Campaign 2000





Goddamn politicians. What the hell is that all about? How 'bout the foul-mouth on the Tennessee Forever 2000 group? Haven't seen that at the polls before. Somebody tell Rosey that riders go on bills, not props. 



Ced's on the list. So are Al and Kelly Z. Lotsa folks are off. If yer still on, yer on forever! (Stop sweatin' Tellegen!)

The Governor wanted to close the bars for the election. I guess he thought that people would get smashed and then vote. 

TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: Bobo! Speedy recovery! We're thinking about you.

They're welding some crap across the street and this morning I accidentally looked at the arc. Now everything tastes funny. Is that supposed to happen?

Bring your favorite voter. Anybody having trouble sleeping at 2am like me? See you there! bye-ee!

Tonight - (the historic) Hotel Utah Saloon
(by request - special out-of-town guest!)


bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!