Happy New Year

12.4.2k

Hey.

If'n yer in town, go hoist one with other lovely list members at Annie's tonight. Be sure to buy a round for and say something nice to our pals who got coal in their stockings this Christmas.

I'll see you next week for 1.1.2k1.

My wombat.

12.3.2k

I ain't giving any presents fer xmas this year. Instead I figure I'm just gonna party. I was out pickin' up some Christmas paper and I'm thinkin' I need to start getting things to wrap up with this stuff. I'm makin' up a list of folks and there's quite a few people I'm figurin' I ought to be picking something up for, but nothin' is jumping right out at me. That's when I figure out the party deal. So simple. Party. And race. Party and race. Dog? Nope. Horse! Them are two things you can do at the same time: Party and race. So that's it. You want a Christmas present? Sorry. You want someone to party with? Cool. I'm yer man. You wanna go to the racetrack? That's cool too. Too bad there ain't any, like, car or motorcycle races going on around now. Or bike races. That's a full day of fun. Goin' to the mountain bike races. Oh yeah ... I'll go skating too. Party, racetrack and skate. I know a bunch of people are clearin' out for Christmas and all, but there are going to be people about to party. So that's it. Let's kick off the partyin' tonight!

La Rondalla
901 Valencia St. SF
647-7474

Everyday is frikkin' Christmas at this joint. Thanks to Tama for the venue suggestion. Any more news? I don't know. One announcement: If you're to enjoy winter sports, esp. alpine events, please be careful. Have fun, but safety first.

TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Refrigerator Art. (Art majors not eligible.)

TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: The Rescue of the Andes Plane Crash Survivors. On this day in 1972, two members of the Uruguayan rugby team who had survived the crash of their plane in the Andes mountains led rescuers to the crash site and 14 more survivors. The plane had crashed ten weeks earlier and many passengers survived both the crash and the fierce conditions high in the Andes. These folks resorted to cannibalism to stay alive! Players: Raub plays the plane; Alan plays the Andes; Lori K. plays the fierce elements (!); Serena and Lisa W. play the two team members who led the rescuers to the crash site; Clova and Al play rescuers; Team Bjeldanes plays the dead folks and ... eeeewwww ... Bobo, Mark, Chef, Bishop, Jeremy, Robin, Sue, Dee and (nameless) play the CANNIBALS!

TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER(S): Mr. and Mrs. Jim Rose. C'mon out.

Guess what? I used to rotate. Now I spin.

Lock them casters and climb on the TNSC experience! After all, it is the penultimate Y2K TNSC meeting! Bring a yule log and some mistletoe and knock back some nog at La Rondolla. Bring yer pals, I know I will. See you there! bye-ee!

"In?"

12.2.2k

I'm wonderin' if my best friend can kick my other best friend's ass. Let's say that one of my best friend's name is Phil and the other's name is ... uh ... Phil too. Okay. Phil is pretty tall and, I dunno, works out a lot I guess. I don't know if he does for sure but it sorta seems like it. Big dude. So Phil's a pretty tall, big guy, and he could probably kick some ass. Makes sense. He's mostly non-violent though. He'll fight to protect himself or his girlfriend. Or his other friends. Or somebody who's getting their asses kicked unfairly, probably. You know, jump in if the fight's unfair. That's an important factor in being one of my best friends: Not being a hothead, but being just. Back to the question! Can Phil kick Phil's ass? One Phil is big, strong and nonviolent. The other Phil ... wouldn't balk at a fight, but he ain't that big. He wouldn't start it, necessarily, but he'd fight. I picture the Phil/Phil fight being like, Phil not starting the fight and the other Phil not jumping in the nonfight. They'd sit around and talk and laugh and drink beer. Kinda like they do already. The whole concept reminds me of the old "Who-would-win-in-a-fight-between-a-velociraptor-and-a-ninja" dealio. That one's still up in the air. Sit around, talk and drink beer here tonight:

Field Of San Francisco
524 Union St, San Francisco, CA 94133
(415) 433-7676

Brother Jer is bar-tendin.' Guess what? Allison is back on the list as herownself. Nicole is new to the list. As is Abigail. Welcome. (nameless) S. Miller alt. email address. A "Get Well Soon" goes out to Kevin. We're raising glasses to yer speedy recovery! Not much more news.

TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Make-out Contest.

TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: The opening of the first indoor ice rink. The year, 1912. The day, Christmas Day. The city, Victoria, B.C. Two brothers, Lester and Joe Patrick, opened the world's first indoor ice rink. The dang thing cost $110,000 (Canadian) and seated 4000 people. Under the ice was the world's largest refrigeration and ice-making equipment. A mere three days later, the brothers opened the world's second indoor ice rink in Vancouver. This one was bigger than the first, as it could hold more than 10,000 people. As one might guess, it's ice-making gear became the world's largest. These fellas didn't rest easy: Over the next few decades, they opened indoor rinks all throughout Western Canada and the Northwestern U.S. Players: Spaz and his brother Rob are Lester and Joe. Matt and the other Matt are the rink and ice-maker in Victoria; John and the other John are the rink and ice-maker in Vancouver. Whoever can skate play skaters. Whoever can't play the audience. I need a volunteer to play the Zamboni and the Zamboni operator.

TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: Woody. He used to bother Coach Bjeldanes a lot but does not so much anymore. Good for him! Good for her! God bless us, everyone!

When yer readin' something on a website or email that's misspelled, do you think the writer can't spell or can't type?

See you suckers in North Beach tonight. Bring somebody worth makin'-out with and win the contest. I know I will. (!) ... er ... what I mean is ... I'll see you suckers in North Beach. See you there! bye-ee!

Def Leppard

12.1.2k

All things considered, I suppose I'm a bit of a kleptomaniac; I love fire. I was ... wait. Kleptomaniac? It's not kleptomaniac. Nymphomaniac. That's it. Nympho- ... what the hell is going here? It's not klepto, it's not nympho. It's ... dang it ... I can't think what ... whataminute! I got it! PYROMANIAC! P-Y-R-O-M-A-N-I-A-C. Right! I'm a bit of a PYRO-maniac because I love fire. I don't like setting things on fire, mind you, (except for a pyramid of Kingsford briquettes!) but I'm fascinated by the sight of "all things ablaze!" Alan was just staring out the window and I looked where he was looking. Some dude across the street had a torch and he was dicking around with roof tar. Spittin' fire, burnin' tar, outside, beautiful morning – what a life! I sure would like a job that had somethin' to do with fire other than corny names for special effects software from Canada. I would love it if we could have a fire in a 55 gallon oil barrel and have it out by the coffee machine. Think about it: Wake up, ride to work, get a coffee and stand around the flaming barrel jawing with coworkers. Sounds pretty sweet. The only thing better would be: Sleep in, stay home, drink a pot of coffee and do nothing until you're damn good and ready. And when you're damn good and ready, why not go here tonight:

Attic Club
3336 24th St, San Francisco, CA 94110
(415) 643-3376

No news this week. So quiet. What are y'all up to?

TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Cooperation Contest. This will be difficult to win because no one cares to cooperate these days. Teams of at least two.

TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: It's December 7th, so guess what's going to be reenacted? You're right! December 7th, 1987: Mikhail Gorbachev arrives in United States for summit with Ronald Reagan! "Despite protests in Washington concerning Soviet human rights abuses, most Americans get swept up in "Gorbymania" as Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev arrives for his summit with President Ronald Reagan. Gorbachev and his wife, Raisa, charmed the American public and media by praising the United States and calling for closer relations between the Soviet Union and America." (Stole that description from historychannel.com) Our players: Lori K. is Gorby; Jim Rose is Reagan; Gareth is Raisa; Bishop, Chef, Jimi and Carl are human rights abuse protesters; John Metsker and Todd are Secret Service dudes; and the remaining List Members are a bunch of "Gorbymaniacs!"

TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: Amy Shuba. Where the hell is Amy Shuba? She missed her "Honorary Founding Member" ceremony last week. The ostriches alone cost a small fortune.

Has anybody had any success with spot removers? Like that DiDi 7 crap? Lemme know 'cause I got something on my T-shirt.

Stop what you're doing tonight, grab your sexaholic-thief-firebug pals and haul ass over to the Attic Club. You'll find a bunch of folks talking about STEALING, SEX and FIRE! I know I will. See you there! bye-ee!

Exothermic? Endothermic?

11.5.2k

You ever have one of them dreams "the experts" say means you want to sleep with your mother or that you harbor a deep guilt about shootin' pigeons with your BB gun when you were nine? Not me! I always have kick-ass dreams about surfing or finding a million bucks in my jeans pocket or finishing a really cool jigsaw puzzle. Of, like, the Hoover Dam or something. You ever been to the Hoover Dam? That sucker is somethin' else. Huge. I saw a TV documentary on it on the Discovery Channel. Amazing stuff. There's enough concrete in that thing to pave a 16-foot wide highway from San Francisco to New York City. Dang! Oh, and, they had to build an ice factory to cool the chemical heat created by the setting cement. Wow! The show's producers were quick to point out that, contrary to legend, nobody was buried alive in that concrete. I once had a dream about being buried alive. Sorta. I wasn't the one gettin' buried alive, I just witnessed it. A plane crash-landed on a pal and drove him deep into the ground. He survived, but was stuck in the ground with the wreck on top of him. I was like, "how sad," as a crowd of people gathered. I talked to him while he was stuck and he kept saying that he was hungry. I don't think he ever got out. Weird, huh? Try and make heads or tails of that one. Mull over tonight at:

Beauty Bar
2299 Mission St.
San Francisco, CA 94110
(415) 285-0323

Who wants to write a review of last week's "Secret Meeting?" I need a volunteer, as I was watching the Blackhawks give up power play goals to the Sharks. New to the list: Dan. Another Dan. Not the same Dan as a couple weeks back. Really. Swear to god.

TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Blue Ribbon Baby Photo Contest (?)

TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: Kasparov v. Deep Blue: The Rematch. In May 1997, Gary Kasparov, the World's reigning chess champ, played a rematch chess tournament with the IBM supercomputer named "Deep Blue." In an exciting turn-of-events, Deep Blue beat Kasparov. Game One, played on 03 May 1997, will feature Alan as Kasparov and Lee Lee the Musical Bee as Deep Blue. (Kasparov wins.) Game Two, played on 04 May, has Susan Smith as Kasparov and Jerry Castro as Deep Blue. (Deep Blue wins.) Game Three (06 May) will be Danielle as Kasparov and Belinda as Deep Blue. (Draw.) Game Four: (07 May) (nameless) as Kasparov, Teensy as Deep Blue. (Draw.) Game Five: (10 May) Moss as Kasparov, Jeremy as Deep Blue (Draw.) And the decisive Game Six, where Kasparov disgraced the human race, has John Metsker as Kasparov and Sue Erokan as the rampaging Deep Blue, the machine bent on World Domination!

TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: Scott Harris. He is singled out because of his keen new SPD-compatible shoes. Say "hi" and check out his zapatos!

Stadium seats at the movies are cool, sure, but what about two-seater stadium seats? For snuggling, hiding, whatever! Your thoughts.

Anybody have Andy Breccia's phone number? I lost it.

Shake off the tryptophan hangovers and get yerselves to Beauty Bar. Bring yer beautiful pals. I will. Fer sure. See you there! bye-ee!

Your Lexicon

11.3.2k

I looked up the word "paradox" in the dictionary. I know what the word means but sometimes it's nice to see an official definition. Clears up any ambiguities. www.dictionary.com (a very cool resource) defines "paradox" as:

1. A seemingly contradictory statement that may nonetheless be true: the paradox that standing is more tiring than walking.

2. One exhibiting inexplicable or contradictory aspects: "You have the paradox of a Celt being the smooth Oxonian" (Anthony Burgess).

3. An assertion that is essentially self-contradictory, though based on a valid deduction from acceptable premises.

4. A statement contrary to received opinion. I like the number two definition.

At a Cubs / Giants game a couple years back my lovely sister wore a Giants cap and a Cubs jersey. I pointed a finger at her and said, "yer a damn paradox there, sister." (Anybody know what an Oxonian is? Look that sucker up.) It is, however, the number three definition that clearly conveys the paradoxical feeling I had the other day. I was being bad, but at the same time it was really good. I ain't gonna tell you details. (I don't want to tip my hand to the Sherrif's Department, if you know what I mean.) But there's yer paradox: Bad is good. Self-contradiction. Weird how that works out. I just wanted to share one of my favorite words with you. Tonight we trade favorite words and drink here:

Doctor Bombay's
3192 16th St, San Francisco, CA 94103
(415) 431-5255

One fella new to the list: Don. Hi Don. Really nice turnout at Latin American Club last week. Might as well make tonight's meeting, too.

TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Limbo.

TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. Players: Tama plays the Edmund Fitzgerald, "The Pride of the American Flag." ("The ship was the pride of the American side / comin' back from some mill in Wisconsin "); Moss plays iron ore. ("With a load of iron ore 26,000 tons more / than the Edmund Fitzgerald weighed empty"); Jerry plays Lake Superior ("The lake it is said never gives up her dead / when the skies of November turn gloomy"); (nameless) and Dee play the northeast winds and the wily northwest winds, respectively ("and late that night when the ship' bell rang / could it be the north wind they'd bin feelin'); Spark plays the waves breaking over the side ("The captain wired in he had water comin' in / and the good ship and crew was in peril"); and Clova plays the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald ("and later that night when 'is lights went out of sight / came the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"). (You might guess that them lyrics are from that famous song. The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald; Lyrics by Gordon Lightfoot, Moose Music Ltd.)

TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: Coach Anna Bjeldanes. She likes to eat Cobb salads for breakfast. She says no to Cocoa Puffs. "Savory. Not sweet." She says she ain't comin' to the meeting.

Anybody see that lady sitting in her car in the parking lot yesterday? She was crying really hard. Weeping. I wonder if she's all right.

Another of my fav. words is "pariah." Haul your behinds to the Doc's fer a shot. Bring yer pals. As always, I will. See you there! bye-ee!

Nosotros tenemos mas queso que tu tiene.

11.2.2k

I'm totally bummed and not a little bit pissed off. Some jackass threw out my lunch. I'm trying to save some dough by bringing a lunch rather than going out every day and here we have some (expletive) going and throwing it out. Sure I can see the need to clean up - more so because this joint is filled to overflow with (expletive) slobs. (I think one of our technical staffers is actually a chunk of moldy cheese from the fridge that acquired sentience, mobility, language and LAN management skills and got his ass a good haircut and a job. I'm considering blowing the whistle on that gouda-boy and if I found out he's the one chucked my lunch I will.) Dang. It was a good lunch, too. The sandwich was my fav: A BLORT sandwich. That's right, a Bacon, Lettuce, Onion, Ranch and Tomato sandy. You add the ranch early so the bread sogs up good. What else? Oh yeah, pickle. Oh (expletive)! My pickle! I wanted that (expletive) pickle! Ack! Yeah, I also got screwed out of Chili-Cheese Fritos. Best salty treat ... ever. Hunk of homemade punkin' pie. I'm not takin' hostages over that one because I gave this girl I know some of the pie in my super antique (mfg. 1954!) Tupperware pie tupper-thingy. I'm glad it's out on loan and not at the bottom of the (expletive) dust bin. It was my mom's. Crap. Tum-tum's a'growlin' and my former lunch is eight feet under. Or six. Six feet. Right. Six feet under. I have a problem with them things sometimes. Six feet under; Davey Smith's Locker, or Jones or whatever; "Give you an inch, You take a yard"; and the shave-your-dog's-ass-'cause-you're-so-dang-ugly joke. I screw those up all the time. I'm hungry now and it ain't even luncheon. Pitched lunch. Unlucky me. Let's drink here tonight fer chrissakes:

Latin American Club
3286 22nd St, San Francisco, CA 94110
(415) 647-2732

How about that goddamn election? "Gigantic step backward!" And I hear we ain't gonna get squished now: "INTERNET LINK" Might have been better? Nobody new to list. Nobody booted.

TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Voter-fraud contest (Bonus points if you're from Florida.)

TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: Sorry. The TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT Generator is offline. We hoped to have it back up by now, but no. Let's see ... go ahead and reenact last week's meeting. Kinda lame, sure, but without the TDRGen I'm at a loss. Next week for sure. (No Refunds. Don't even ask.)

TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: Teensy. The TNSC Attendance Probability Engine (still online) calculated a very low chance of Teensy showing up tonight. That data fed into the TNSC-TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER Calculator (also still online) coughed up Teensy's name. Tag, Teensy, you're it.

I've seen three squished rats on the street lately. Just tail, claws and grease stain. Anybody out there slowing down for them poor, little, ugly suckers?

Repeat this throughout the day: I will go to the TNSC meeting tonight. I will bring my pals. I will see you there. bye-ee!

No polling within 50 feet!

11.1.2k

PROPOSITION TNDC

Shall the Thursday Night Social Club officially and finally change its name to the Thursday Night Drinking Club, and now and forevermore to be referred to by the initials "TNDC?"

THE WAY IT IS NOW: It's known as the Thursday Night Social Club.

THE PROPOSAL: Change it.

A "YES" VOTE MEANS: Change it.

A "NO" VOTE MEANS: Don't change it.

Former Unofficial TNSC Controller's Statement on "TNDC"

Former Unofficial TNSC Controller Mike "Rosey" Rosenberg has issued the following statement on the realistic impact of Proposition TNDC. Should the TNSC change its name to TNDC List Members would incur no financial responsibility at all. The Proposition doesn't have anything to do with money. It's a name change. It's semantics, really. Nothing to do about nothing. The real issue is being overlooked: That maps to meeting locations is vital for people who need hand-holding and should be required in the venue announcements. I propose a rider to the Proposition. Include a map in the venue announcement for the geographically challenged. Like myself.



How the Founding Members Voted on "TNDC"

Opposed: Susan "Dynamite" Smith, Alan "Mad Daddy" Chimenti, Josh "Cushy" Johnson

Abstaining: John "Trouble" Metsker



PROPONENT'S ARGUMENT IN FAVOR OF PROPOSITION TNDC

It's a drinking club. Call it what it is, people. Jesus.

-Drinking Club 2000 Foundation



REBUTTAL TO PROPONENT'S ARGUMENT IN FAVOR OF PROPOSITION TNDC

That's a stupid argument in favor.

-Tennessee Forever 2000



OPPONENT'S ARGUMENT AGAINST PROPOSITION TNDC

Some people don't drink at the SOCIAL CLUB, dipshits.

-Tennessee Forever 2000



REBUTTAL TO OPPONENT'S ARGUMENT AGAINST PROPOSITION TNDC

That's a stupid argument in favor. er, uh, against.

-Drinking Club 2000 Foundation



PAID ARGUMENT IN FAVOR OF PROPOSITION TNDC

The Founding Members are on dope and we've heard that barnyard animals have been seen leaving some of their homes late at night. Like people who torture dogs, these people are not to be trusted. Don't vote like they did.

-Paid for the Smear Tactics Worked in '88 Foundation 2000



PAID ARGUMENT AGAINST PROPOSITION TNDC

We have a legacy here, people, let's do the right thing and keep it real. Keep it at home. Keep it social.

-Paid for by the Keep It Real / Keep It Social Campaign 2000





Goddamn politicians. What the hell is that all about? How 'bout the foul-mouth on the Tennessee Forever 2000 group? Haven't seen that at the polls before. Somebody tell Rosey that riders go on bills, not props. Why not go here for Founder's Day tonight:

Orbit Room Cafe
1900 Market St, San Francisco, CA 94102
(415) 252-9525



Ced's on the list. So are Al and Kelly Z. Lotsa folks are off. If yer still on, yer on forever! (Stop sweatin' Tellegen!)

The Governor wanted to close the bars for the election. I guess he thought that people would get smashed and then vote. I thought that was a great idea so I negotiated a deal: I traded TONIGHT'S CONTEST and TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT for keeping Orbit open. The idea is we'll concentrate on drinking and voting and not concern ourselves with contests or reenactments. Still got TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER, though!

TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: Bobo! Speedy recovery! We're thinking about you.

They're welding some crap across the street and this morning I accidentally looked at the arc. Now everything tastes funny. Is that supposed to happen?

Vote. Founders Day. Bring your favorite voter. Anybody having trouble sleeping at 2am like me? See you there! bye-ee!

Inevitability

10.4.2k

I got an email from some telemarketing executive or some kinda crap like that and she made me an offer I couldn't refuse. She said that her company would pay for a big event (read: free booze) once a month for a year if I would include in these TNSC emails a fair amount of advertising. Being familiar with "big events" I wanted to know some details. You know: How long is the booze free, is top-shelf liquor included (some list members enjoy Bombay Sapphire and such), which venues were available, what about snacks, etc. I've been to so-called open bars where the free booze came in plastic bottles or was limited to Zima or some crap like Sierra Nevada and I won't sit still for that. She answered these Q's pretty satisfactorily: Open bar from 6p to midnight, top shelf booze, venues anywhere in the city, and as far as snacks, she would send over that nice tamale lady. Bein' that I like them tamales, that was good enough for me. So yeah, I sold out the list. But you have to know, I did it for you. All of you. Every last lovely one of you. Listen, you may be peeved now, but when Sue Erokan is enjoying a FREE Maker's Manhattan or Amy Shuba is sipping a NO CHARGE Herradurra Margarita or Metsker DOESN'T PAY for his fill of frosty Beck's, this Founding Member thinks they'll forget about the annoying banner ads. Oh yeah, that telemark-whatsit lady needs all your home addresses, telephone numbers, email addresses, birthdates, and other such demographic info. Jot it down on a 3x5 card and bring it to the meeting tonight.

Here:

Eagle's Drift In (South of Market)
527 Bryant St, San Francisco, CA 94107
(415) 495-4527

Ya. How 'bout that? We're stayin' South of Market because it's raining and there's parking around the Drift In. It was supposed to be Founder's Day and we were going to go to Orbit but Founding Member Alan Chimenti had a date with Jon Bon Jovi hisownself down in LA and had to cancel. Guess where we're goin' next week if AC can keep his paws off Jovi? Here's the news: David is new to the list. Hi David. Don't remember if I needed to add anyone else. Oh yeah, Clova is new. Allison new address. At least one person ain't getting the email anymore.

TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Staring contest.

TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: The final performance of the Sex Pistols. Hot on the heels of a secert UK tour (They were banned all across the country), the Pistols played eight shows here in the U.S., the last being in SF at a joint called the Winterland. Animosity, disappointment and frustrations came to a head that night in January 1978. At the end of the show, Johnny Rotten said, "Ever get the feeling you've been cheated?" a now infamous remark which sparked his departure from the band the next day. Players tonight: Belinda plays Rotten; Kevin plays Sid Vicious; Dee plays guitarist Steve Jones; Paul Cook, the drummer, is portrayed by Robin; and Malcolm McLaren, the band's producer, is played by Sue.

TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: Coach Bjeldanes. She is so sick and yet she has vowed to go out and drink a lot of whiskey tonight. What a trooper!

Lost and found notice: FOUND! One rollerskate key. Says "Chicago" on it. This wrench is used to adjust the truck locknut and also has a flat screwdriver end to adjust some kingpins. Found it by the "Shadow" pinball table at last week's meeting venue.

What the heck are ya doin' tonight? Why goin' t'the Thursday Night Social Club meeting, that's what! Yes ma'am and sir, throw yer best ma'ams and sirs into that SF city cab and git over to the bar. I'll see you there! bye-ee!

The el espejo.

10.3.2k

I don't know about you, but I see self-reflection as a very important part of life. I ain't talkin' about daily, meticulous examination or anything, but rather periodic check-ins. Like the other day. I was with a bunch of nice folks and we were talking about the things we used to do as kids. It got me thinking: How am I different from the kid I used to be? Not much, I guess. More responsible, probably; more confident. But generally the same person. What were you like in high school and how much of that person is still with you? Were you a punker who smoked tons of ciggys? Did you study all the time? Did you never study and still get good grades? Were you on the football team? Were you hostile, angry or violent? Were you a nerdy little office toady? Were you a person with artistic or literary interests who disregarded conventional standards of behavior? I knew plenty of guys and girls fitting this description. Some called them vagabonds. Nonconformists. The "Free-and-easys." They called themselves Bohemians. At tonight's meeting we celebrate the bohemians we know, used to know or used to be. Here:

Bohemia
1624 California St, San Francisco, CA 94109
(415) 474-6968

Kinda ironic, eh?

Eight people (JHJ, MM, BR, JM, BL, MG, MH, EH) out of 105 list members showed up last week. I guess a bunch of you got better offers. The Founding Members are re-thinking the no-one-gets-booted-off-the-list policy. Just so you know. No one new to the list this week, but Robin offers an alternate email address.

TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Spelling Bee (prizes)

TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: The Empire State Building getting hit by a plane.

Saturday, July 28, 1945. On this day, the world's tallest building, lousy weather and an old, obsolete bomber without sophisticated electronics combined with disastrous effects. The plane, a twin-engine, medium-sized U.S. Army Air Force B-25 Mitchell bomber was flying very low, about 700 feet, on a westerly approach to an airfield in Newark. Perhaps the pilot mistook the East River for the Hudson and thought he was already in New Jersey when he found himself in a forest of skyscrapers. Banking and climbing after a near-hit of the building at 5th and 42nd, the plane plowed directly into the Empire State between the 78th and 79th floors. One fortunate thing: Had the plane hit the building on a weekday, many, many more people would have been in the building. As it was, only about 1000 people (of the weekday normal of 15,000) were in it at the time. Players: John Henkel plays the Empire State Building; Allison Muir plays the B-25; Belinda plays lousy weather; Greg Gladstone plays New York; Jason Porter plays New Jersey; Bishop and (nameless) play the two office workers who survived a free-fall one-fifth of a mile from the 75th floor to the ground when their elevator's cable snapped; Moss plays a bunch of NYC firemen; and Jay Herda plays a gaping hole in the masonry between the 78th and 79th floor.

TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: Miss Amy Shuba. She's ditched us for a few weeks in a row and singling her out used to work to get her to the meeting. Let's see if Mr. Usedta is still kickin.

We still need volunteers for the 8-10 shift at the voter registration booth at the back bar. Sign up and get a free drink.

Yah, okey. Do you think we can do better than 8% attendance? I don't know. This is a pretty nice little joint, mind you. A "requested venue," if you must know. Bring someone squishy and squish them at Bohemia. bye-ee!

Patience

10.2.2k

The building I work in has this huge lobby that's normally packed with some of the crappiest sculpture I've ever seen. One time there was this itty bitty "house" that was full of rotten eggs hanging from the ceiling on fishing line. That thing smelled kinda bad. There were these ET-lookin' humanoid figures: short, fat, bald, big heads. Pink. Green. Stupid. Ugly. I wonder if anyone will ever look at them and say, "That's just what my collection needs! Here's a million bucks!" I doubt it. I get a sense of relief when I walk through the lobby in the morning and the night before the "artists" had come and gathered up their "art." The floor's all polished, lookin' nice, devoid of fuzzy orange church bells or ten tricycles welded together in a heap or various barnyard animal's heads epoxyed to plastic babydolls. Don't get me wrong, folks can go ahead and make bad art for all I care, I'm just sorta growin' weary of seeing it down there all the time. Some day I hope to see some nice stuff: paintings of pretty yellow flowers, antique jukeboxes, maybe a hotdog stand. How 'bout some dude's Vespa collection? I sorta appreciate some peoples' cornball hobbies. 'Cause I haven't gotten any better suggestions, tonight's meeting is gonna be here:

Annie's Cocktail Lounge
15 Boardman Pl San Francisco, CA 94103
(415) 703-0865

I got an email from my ISP and it said that "sirius.com" would be down for maintenance today. Great. Why not Sunday midnight? Naw, Thursday all day.

Believe it or not, ain't no one new to the list. That's the first time in a long time. No, wait, there's a late addition: Emmy. First one to buy Emmy a drink wins a prize. Still nobody chucked off the list. I hope you feel guilty if you're one of the ones not attending. (Clint said he'd come tonight.)

TONIGHT'S CONTEST: (Recess theme) Jacks, hopscotch, four-square, pig pog.

TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: The Native American occupation of Alcatraz. On 20 November 1969, members of the American Indian Movement began their 19-month occupation of the former maximum security prison. This event served as a springboard for the rise of Indian activism in the 1970's. The underlying goal of the Indians on Alcatraz Island was to awaken the American public to the plight of the first Americans, to the suffering caused by the Federal Government's broken treaties and broken promises, and to the need for Indian self-determination. Players tonight: The Western CGI department play the Indians, with Guy Hudson as Alcatraz Island; John Henkel as the Bay Area; Traci as the Federal Government; Sally Carter as the inept prison guard "Bunny"; and Matt as a can of spray paint.

TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: Serena Warner. Serena is singled-out for no other reason than it's her birthday. From the TNSC: "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday Ser-ee-na, happy birthday to you!" Be sure to wish her a happy birthday next time you see her.

My cat Junior was very upset this morning. I don't know why. Anyone else have trouble with kitty cats this AM?

Yeah, sure, we've been South of Market for several weeks in a row, but why not? Nice turnout last week, let's go for another. Call your friends around the country and tell them you're going to Annie's tonight. Tell them where it's at. Tell them how to get there. Vaya con queso! bye-ee!

For Neal Barrett, Jr.

10.1.2k

I was askin' Founding Member Mr. Alan Chimenti if he thought that the "cops and donuts" joke was so old it was actually over. He figures no. That sucker will be funny for many, many years to come. "Probably as long as the gum in your gumball machine is gonna last, mebbe longer," he says. I didn't exactly get his point: "Whaddya mean? You mean nobody's gonna eat all that gum, or you think that if no one eats it, it'll still be somewhat edible for a long, long time?" He mumbled something I didn't catch. "Huh?" I said, "What's that?" He mumbles something else. I'd about had it. "Don't go mumbling about the gum, A.C., I ain't gonna stand for you mumbling about the gum." He then tries to change the subject on me. "I bet your brother's glad all that gum's not in yer apartment anymore." I don't know about that. "I don't know nothin' about that, dude." I said, "Now what was it you were mumbling about a minute ago? And don't go and change the subject again. I won't sit still for that." He says, "I was wonderin' kinda out loud, you know, about how much dough you're pullin' in with that coin-op gumball machine." This surprised me. "Huh? How much money? What the heck ya mean?" "You had that sign on it a week ago, 'Quarters Only,' and that crappy drawing of a quarter. A quarter for one tiny gumball? You must be making bank." I didn't like the way this was heading. "I didn't even put that sign on it. I didn't draw that crude quarter. I would think I could draw a quarter better than that. What's more, what's more is that most of the money in that dang thing is mine. I have a mess of change right here that people can help themselves to." I pointed out the stack of change. "I just want to get rid of the frikkin' gum before it gets too stale." "Huh," he says, unimpressed. "No 'huh' about it, A.C., that's the truth there." "Okay then, if that's the way it is," he says. "Truth, man, I'm tellin' ya." I said. Then I told him that he had to wait for his email, just like everyone else, to learn the destination for tonight's meeting.

Sadie's Flying Elephant

Yeah, we went there a few weeks back, but the place is cool, the juke rocks (TWO Jesus Lizard CD's) and some very cool things happened that night. And they have Miller High Life.

Anyone new to the list? Oh yeah, there's Lisa Whall and Kelly Dragoo. Welcome. Tara coughs up an alternate email address. The "No-one-gets-booted-off-the-list" policy is still in effect.

Tonight's Contest: Pinball tournament. Quarterfinals. See John Metsker for odds if yer wagering.

Tonight's Dramatic Reenactment: The day of the highest recorded temperature in King Salmon, Alaska in July. On July 15, 1975, the town of King Salmon, Alaska enjoyed an 86 degree day. The town's denizens responded by wearing t-shirts and shorts, barbecuing and picnicking in the town's park. No one complained about the summer-like temperatures. Nobody pined for the snow and fog and wind and rain to return. These were smart customers! Playing the smart customers: Bobo plays the Mayor of King Salmon; Amy Shuba plays summer; Rob Williams plays the thermometer that displayed 86 degrees; I play a 22 1/2" red Weber kettle grill; Heavy plays a frisbee; Mary Haring plays corn-on-the-cob; Jerry Castro and Jim Rose play drinking beer and staying out late; a bunch of list members who never come to the meetings play snow and fog and wind and rain, which were not there and NOT missed!

Tonight's Singled-Out List Member: Jeremy Johnson. My brother gets singled-out because it's his last TNSC meeting. He's high-tailing it outta town. Come and say "bye-ee."

The little bugs and assorted bacteria have built up a pretty solid resistance to the hand sanitizing gel we've been using. But ... Uriah and I have figured out that if you augment the stuff with gasoline and linseed oil all you gotta do is ignite it and them buggies are fried crispy. Resist that!

Get yer butts to the airborne pachyderm and help drink the beer. We get free popcorn if we finish the Miller. Bring yer friends, dang it. See you there. bye-ee!

Shut my mouth!

9.4.2k

Now believe it or not, and I've been known to lie, but this here's a true story.

Back in the Age of Sail, the days of the tall ships - the Man o'War, the galleon, the schooner - sailors relied on cats to do some of their dirtiest work. Hoards of rats and mice would tightrope-walk the mooring lines along the docks, eager to feast on the stores of grain and other food in the holds of the ships. Cats were very effective exterminators. They would rid the ship of vermin. In port or on the high seas, they followed the predatory role nature designed for them. Following the reverence the Ancient Egyptians had for cats, sailors treated their cats very well and held them in high regard. Seafaring cats played a lesser-known role, too: they would hear the confessions of the condemned man. Many of the ships had neither the room or supplies for a priest, cleric, monk or other such holy man who could not or would not pull his own weight. A religious lot, sailors doomed to walk the plank, hang from the yard-arm or be keel-hauled were desperate for an ear to hear their reconciliation. As it was bad luck for a layman to do such, the next obvious choice were the ship's cats. They could appear to be attentive listeners and trusted to never reveal what they've heard. It was not uncommon for the prisoner, in his last hours, to share the brig with as many as 50 cats.

For this week's meeting I'll be drowning my blues with the black cats at

Lucky 13

There ain't nobody new to the list. No one got booted, as per the new nobody-gets-booted dealio. A lot of complaints about the web-based TNSC meeting announcement. Overheard: "Poor user interface," "unintuitive," "confusing." Okey then. You can have your precious underlined links. More comments being accepted here.

Tonight's Contest: Piping-hot-coffee chug-a-lug. ow.

Tonight's Dramatic Reenactment: The "Death" of Ben "Obi-Wan" Kenobi.

In an attempt to allow a small band of rebels - including a princess, a pirate, a couple of gay robots and a bumpkin - to escape the ominous space station known as the "Death Star," an aged warrior selflessly sacrifices his corporeal body to his nemesis, the sinister "Darth Vader." It turns out, though, that the villain's "light saber" renders "Obi-Wan" more powerful than the evil one knows. Our players: Serena Warner plays "Obi-Wan," Uriah plays "Darth Vader," Lee Lee the Musical Bee plays the pirate, Teensy plays the princess, Rob Bonstin plays one of the gay robots, Jimi Simmons plays the other, April plays the bumpkin and Mrs. Alan Chimenti plays the role of the "Death Star." Clint plays some dude named George.

Tonight's Singled-Out List Member: Me. I single myself out because I've been bad. I have the headache to prove it. Spell check just caught me spelling "prove" with two o's. Yeouch.

Those snakes last week were Agkistrodon contortrix: copperheads! Here is Moss' picture. Sure they were cute little baby snakes, but they're trouble. Rarely fatal, but trouble. They're also an endangered species and federally protected. If you are one of the ones who took one home, take it back. If you've been bitten, click here.

Who couldn't use a little luck? Bring yer friends. Bring yer cats. Bring yer friends' cats. See you there. bye-ee!

(Fill out the questionnaire.)

"Chute, I almost made it!"

9.3.2k

I totally forgot that we have several list members representing the TNSC at the Sydney Olympics! Did anyone tape the Parade of Nations? Crap! I was at a bar with list member Mrs. Amanda Rose and at least we got to see it on the Tee Vee. Ya have to wait a long time for "Thursday" to come around in the alphabet. Our folks looked great, though, didn't they? Worth the wait. Congrats to Mary Haring for winning the "Olympic Parade of Nations Flag Bearer Contest" a few weeks back. I just checked the Medal Count board and TNSC is kickin' butt:

Bishop has a gold in Quit-your-job-and-go-to-art-school.

Moss bronzed in Suggest-Noc-Noc-for-the-TNSC-venue.

Anna and Dave won the gold in Get-Engaged.

(nameless) won the gold in Cubicle-construction.

John Metsker has silver in Best-Parking-Space.

Alan hisownself silvered in Cigarette-lighting.

Team Bjeldanes is holding its own in Softball-under-the-influence.

Susan Smith is still in medal contention for Avoid-getting-kicked-in-the-head-at-the-Man ... Or Astroman?-show.

Jerry just advanced to the medal round in Softball-homerun-derby.

Chef leads the pack in Liking-a-shitty-football-team.

Sally Carter won the gold in Needing-a-drink-after-a-helluva-Thursday-morning.

Guess what Rosey won gold in? Ha!

Still to come:

We have Amy Shuba competing in the Nice-car event.

Dee represents us in the Consecutive-hangovers contest (this is an exhibition sport).

Lori K. in the Photograph-drunk-list-members.

Jeremy in Blow-town (a clear favorite).

Sue Erokan in Pose-for-barroom-portraits.

And a whole bunch of people in Ditch-the-TNSC-meeting.

To that end, the meeting this week is here:

Il Pirata
2007 16th St
San Francisco, CA 94103
626-2626

We should enjoy the weather, no? These folks have a patio! And hotdogs!

New to the list: Mark, Edie. Hey folks. Like I said last week, no more mention of taking people who never come to the meetings ever off the list. Ever. Not one more time. I swear. Allison.

Tonight's Contest: Heck. Why not? "Puke on a raccoon" contest.

Tonight's Dramatic Reenactment: Evel Knievel jumps the Snake River Canyon.

8 November 1974. Twin Falls, Idaho. The World's Greatest Daredevil attempts to jump the 1,580-foot distance over the Snake River Canyon in the steam-powered X-1 Skycycle. His parachute deploys early and the stunt is a fiasco. Tonight's Reenactment is being performed by Jason Porter using the dolls (made by Ideal Toy (that's right, the real McCoy) and the puppetry skills he is famous for. Thanks to Belinda and Danielle for construction of the miniature Canyon and "launch site."

Tonight's Singled-Out List Member(s): All Western employees/list members who don't go to Il Pirata since it's so close to work.

The design for the postcard was rejected. "Try a different approach" was the art director's sad refrain.

Who doesn't like hotdogs? NO ONE! That's reason enough to go to the Il Pirata. Be sure to bring a pal. See you there. bye-ee!

No spitting. Litter. Smoking.

9.1.2k

Well them new VW Beetles have been with us for some time and I for one haven't heard the raging debate about their integrity even begin to subside. I know plenty of folks - owners of old Beetles - that don't even consider the new ones Beetles. I don't know but one new Beetle owner and he seems to like the thing a lot. I'm sittin' on the fence on this one. Both seem pretty okay to me. You see this kinda thing happen every so often. "Improvements" to an old design. I'll tell you one thing, there weren't no "improvements" on Miller High Life when the Miller Brewing Company coughed up "Miller Genuine Draft." It's kinda like apples and oranges - if ya like apples and can't stand oranges. (MGD bein' the oranges, mind you.) The kick in the pants is that MGD can be found in far more places than the Old Standard High Life. This week's venue is one of those joints where High Life fans gotta settle for MGD. Good thing the juke kicks yer butt. So get yer butt on down to:

Annies Cocktail Lounge
15 Boardman Pl
San Francisco, CA 94103-4727
Phone: (415) 703-0865

Note: You can get a bail bond v. close to this place.
Business/News/Sports: Some nice folks come new to the list this week: Teensy@xxx, I forget Teensy@xxx's real name; and Mary. Pls. introduce yerselves. Returning to the list is Robin Skirboll. Welcome back. No one removed.
Did ya all like Rosey's goodbye speech? Anybody gonna actually call him? Team Bjeldanes practiced under the lights last night in anticipation of the playoff game Sunday. Outlook for victory is good. (See John Metsker for current odds.)

TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Spin Yer Partner Round and Round Contest. That's right ... Dance Contest!
TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: The death of John Dillinger.
In the 1930's banks were often thought of as the "bad guy." Many outright failed, taking with them the life savings of their customers. Those that stayed open foreclosed on people's homes, farms and businesses as the Great Depression took hold of the nation. Many bank robbers would destroy mortgage records when they would hold-up a bank, giving the robber a Robin Hood-like status. Add to the criminal good looks, bravery and roguish charisma, and you had John Dillinger.
Dillinger robbed banks all over the Midwest, avoiding capture for years. When he was captured he would escape. One time he carved a pistol from wood, and the jailer, thinking that Dillinger had the drop on him, surrendered his own weapon. His public support began to wane, though, due to many lawmen and innocents alike being gunned down by Dillinger and his gang, not to mention the reward money offered for his capture and his status as Public Enemy Number One. Enter Polly Hamilton and Anna Sage - the Lady in Red. Polly was Dillinger's girlfriend in Chicago and Anna Sage was the owner of the brothel where Polly lived. Anna was in trouble with the cops - because of the brothel - and faced deportation to Romania. Anna Sage decided to make a deal with the Feds to avoid deportation. She set up Dillinger one night when the three of them - Dillinger, Anna and Polly - were going to the movies at the Biograph theater on Lincoln Avenue in Chicago. She was to single-out herself and her companion by wearing a very noticeable red dress. Accounts differ, but the consensus is that the FBI opened fire on Dillinger immediately upon seeing him. Something not unlike an assassination. Our players: Moss plays Melvin Purvis, G-Man in charge of the Dillinger Squad; Belinda plays J. Edgar Hoover, Director of the FBI; Chef plays John Dillinger; Spaz plays Baby-Face Nelson, of the Dillinger gang; Susan Smith plays Polly; and Kay Rough plays the Lady in Red, who, incidentally, got deported by Hoover anyway.

TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER(S): Moss. He missed a good one at the Elephant last week. Also singled-out: Amanda Rose. If she comes to Annies, one of her next-door neighbors will buy her a lovely Manhattan

We (the TNSC) nearly have enough Betty Crocker points to get the 20-quart crock pot.Is anyone sitting on a secret stash? Remember we're IN it to WIN it!

Load up on B vitamins and get on down to Annies tonight. Bring your wife, husband, brother, girlfriend - whatever (but no ex-es, please). Tell stories and be someone's pal. Yes or no: "spotty" bananas. See you there! bye-ee!Click on the messy lookin' thing below for the Rosey Memorial Map.

A Quinn-Martin Production

8.5.2k

I ride my bike a lot. I ride to and from work almost every day. The streets of San Francisco, for those of you who don't know, tend to be quite dangerous. Lotsa drivers don't seem to see bikes. Or pedestrians. Or cars, trucks, vans or busses for that matter. It also seems, and this is just my observation, that they are hell-bent on gettin' to wherever it is they're goin' - and damn the guy that gets in my way. In other words, IF they see you, they are probably very irritated to see that you are in their way.

A lot of people say that they would never ride a bike on the streets of San Francisco. Just too damn dangerous. They're right. I, however, continue to ride. No ... no, I don't have a death wish. I'm just committed to it. I also strive to be careful. I stop at red lights. I stop at stop signs. I yield for pedestrians. The most important thing I do is I behave "predictably." I ride straight, I don't weave around wildly, I don't act like a jerk. Bikes have a right to the road and I ain't afraid of traffic. Respectful, but not afraid. Wait. Yeah, okay, I am afraid of a certain component of traffic: those cement mixers. One of them huge suckers even nicks you and yer ridin' the high lonesome from now on. No chance.

Makes me think. I'm little and cement mixers are big. I'm afraid of them. They're not afraid of me. That seems natural. Little being afraid of big. Fine. How is it, then, that elephants (big) are afraid of mice (little)? Doesn't make a lot of sense. Elephants can stomp the crap out of a whole colony of mice. I think tonight we should find out the reason. We'll go to the source and ask an expert. Here:

Sadie's Flying Elephant
491 Potrero Ave, San Francisco, CA 94110
(415) 551-7988

Tangs to Miss (nameless) Miller for suggesting the pachyderm. On to the business:

New to the list are the aforementioned Miss (nameless) Miller and Chef (he's really on the list this time). Soon to be off the list: Rosey (quitter) and "others."

TONIGHT'S CONTEST: The quarter-finals of the Hold-Your-Breath contest. Check the leader board and make your wagers. (See John Metsker for current odds.)

TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: The "invention" of Crepes Suzette.

Henry Charpentier was the personal chef of Edward, Prince of Wales. One night Charpentier was preparing a new dessert to honor his patron. They were to be crepes with an elaborate sauce of lemon rind, orange rind, sugar, butter and liqueur.

As the sauce was boiling, the liqueur accidentally ignited. Charpentier panicked. He couldn't serve this to the prince, nor could he start over. After a moment of anguish, he tried the sauce. It was delicious! He then boiled the crepes in the sauce, added even more liqueur and served the dessert to the prince - sauce aflame! The prince was delighted with both the presentation and the crepes. He asked his chef the name of the dish, to which Charpentier replied that he had just devised it and would call them Crepes Edward. The prince was honored, but asked Charpentier if he would name them Suzette - the prince's "companion" that evening. And thus - Crepes Suzette! Our players: Rosey plays Charpentier. Scott Harris plays Edward, Prince of Wales. Lori K. plays the beautiful but otherwise unknown woman named Suzette. Danielle plays a bunch of crepes. John Metsker takes on the difficult role of flaming lemon rind, orange rind, sugar, butter and liqueur.

TONIGHT'S SINGLED OUT LIST MEMBER: Rosey. This is the last time this quitter will be singled out, as it is his last week with us. Someone gave him a map to LA and he's going. Good luck to Rosey and we'll miss him. Happy Trails!

The lizard in the sour cream and onion potato chips was a hoax. They are safe to eat.

I don't know about you but I've always wanted to go to the Flying Elephant. Why not go and bring yer pals? Heck, bring yer softball team for all I care. See you there! Oh, and that stuff about "missing Rosey" was a bunch of doo-doo. What do you call a group of mice? bye-ee!

-untitled TNSC transmission-

8.4.2k

Attention lovely list members: This week's preamble has been designated "epilogue." See below. Now for the news. Tonight's destination is the choice of long-time list member Sue "Birthday Grrrl" Erokan.In her own words:

> > All right, here it is...Dalva. It is located on 16th between Valencia
> > and Guerrero. It's next door to the Roxie theatre. Yay!

So be it. Now for the business. Dora's name was butchered last week. Dora, not "Doval." Francesca is the mystery name of fhaliburton@xxx. I think I spelled something wrong somewhere else too. Nice turnout at Butter. Nice turnout at The El Bobo. You represented your social club well.

TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Horseshoes and Hand Grenades.

TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: The Origin of Greek Rembetika Music. In the early 1920's the Greek Army was in retreat from Turkish forces led by Kemal Attaturk (Formerly known as Mustafa Kemal (remember the nursery rhyme?). Greece had invaded Turkey (at the instigation of England, France, Italy and Russia) to claim the coast of Asia Minor where millions of ethnic Greeks had lived for generation upon generation. When the support countries pulled out, the Turks turned the tables. The Greeks retreated home and brought back with them the surviving Greek population of Asia Minor. These people had once been prominent citizens but were now reduced to refugees. This is the origin of Rembetika. The lyrics reflected their surroundings, poverty, pain, drug addiction, police oppression, prison, unrequited love, betrayal and hashish. It was the Greek urban blues. The players: A one-woman show! Sue Erokan plays the Greek Army, Kemal Attaturk, the Turkish Army, England, France, Italy and Russia, Asia Minor, Asia Minor's Ethnic Greeks, poverty, pain, drug addiction, police oppression, prison, unrequited love, betrayal, hashish and, most importantly, Rembetika!

TONIGHT'S SINGLED OUT LIST MEMBER(S): Tellegen(s) Karen and Mark. They had a wee baby girl. Congrats from TNSC!

Team Bjeldanes results from 20aug00: Tie. Undefeated we march (stagger?) into the playoffs. See you 10sep00.

See you tonight at Dalva. Bring yer pals - I'm going to! bye-ee! (Don't forget to click the link below ... it will open in your browser.)



wordsearch!

Sweet ... creamery ...

8.3.2k

I've always wanted to make a time capsule and I figure now's the time. I'm making a list of things to put in it:

Packa smokes. (Obvious choice. First thing ya do when you crack the thing open is find smokes. Light up and go through the rest of the capsule.)

Case of Coors Light. (Folks'll be thirsty for good beer in the future.)

Chicago Cubs cap. (My time capsule. I decide what goes in it.)

Metal keys. (When them "retina scanners" come out metal keys are dinosaurs.)

Ream of copy paper. (Paper = GOLD in future.)

Cell Phone (I'm putting mine in there to get rid of it.)

Pecan Pie recipe. (De-lish.)

Assorted Joe R. Lansdale novels. (Read some yourself and you'll know why future-boy gets these gems.)

A roll of latent 35mm neg. (Picture the fella who opens the capsule finding this. Curiosity will get the better of them and they'll find themselves compelled to develop the negative (Prob at no small cost. You know, "digaital photography" is the future. Fotomats are gonna be bulldozed (or LASER-DEMOLISHED (??)) faster than you can say "Bob's Big Boy." Anyhoo, Future Citizen will go through this ordeal to find on the neg very tasteful pictures of my cats. My gift to them.)

Brand-new leather wallet. (For holding fancy-ass credit chips or whatever.)

Last, but not least, the name of the location of tonight's TNSC meeting:

Butter 354 Eleventh Street San Francisco 94103 tel: (415) 431-6545

List member Kay Rough suggests this dairy product/bar. She says they have PBR on tap. yee-ha.

Business news: Want a list of new members? Okay!

Megan
April
Chef (Real name: Brian)
kurtl@xxx (Real name: Kurt, or something)
otherwhirled@xxx (Real name: unknown)
doval@xxx (Real name: don't know)
ams144@xxx (Real name: ??)
tommy@xxx (Real name: Tommy?)
keseidel@xxx (Real name: don't know)
fhaliburton@xxx (Real name: F-something)
arose@xxx (Real name: Amanda (alternate address))

NOTE: I need real names for future SINGLED OUT LIST MEMBERS. More business news: I'm going to clean up the list soon. If you haven't come for a while, you might want to renew your membership by having someone buy you a drink at a meeting.

TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Firewalking

TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: The first time somebody stopped for a yellow light in San Francisco. The players: Well ... no one has actually ever stopped for a yellow light in SF, so we have to wait till someone does before we dramatically reenact it.

TONIGHT'S SINGLED OUT LIST MEMBER: Rosey. Still a quitter. Speaking of quitting, guess who quit smoking? I started for a good reason and quit for the same reason. Go figure.

Team Bjeldanes results from 12aug00: Win. 5-0 (yeah, I know. I said 5-0 last week. My typewriter is screwy. Sometimes it writes "5" instead of "4." Sometimes it writes "I like fancy-ass microbrews like Sierra Nevada" instead of "I hate fancy-ass microbrews like Sierra Nevada.")

Team Bjeldanes results from 13aug00: Win. Backwards "K" to end the game. Thanks Tobin Jones, pitcher-god. 6-0.

Does anyone want to go bowling?

See you all tonight or ELSE! Bring yer best pal or best gal to the Butter esta noche. bye-ee!

Try this on, okay?

8.1.2k

Did you ever climb a tree only to find yourself unable to get down? I had a cat that we took camping and that little sucker climbed way up some ponderosa pine. Not a whole lot of horizontal limbs on this tree. Cricket could only go up. Couldn't turn around too easily. She just kinda hung there and squawked. I felt for her. I've been in situations where the way out wasn't too clear. Trees and other things. If you would like to talk to folks that get stuck up trees, the support group's meeting coincides with this week's TNSC meeting. Here:

Annies Cocktail Lounge
15 Boardman Pl San Francisco, CA 94103-4727
Phone: (415) 703-0865

You don't want to miss this. The keynote speaker has been stuck up in many a tree. New additions to the list: Brian and Kristin. Some folks call Kristin by her real name, Allison. Also new is a nice fella named Rob Williams. Returning to the list is our friend Colleen (She has a great story about the DMV and a lot of alcohol. Ask her to tell you.) Michael Weiss returns too. No one was purged from the list this week. Thanks to pinch hitter Mossy for last week's riveting TNSC announcement. Several of you wrote in to complain that I didn't give Rosey any guff a couple weeks back. Rosey hisownself noticed and mentioned it the next day. He also noticed that he got skipped on the ritual Friday morning slider run. I guess I'm responsible for Rosey's breakfast sandwich intake now, in addition to making sure his route to the TNSC meeting is mapped out. I wonder if he needs me to pay his rent next month for him or make some car repairs for him or shop for his mom's B-Day present or find a recipe for empanadas for him or pick out a Christmas tree for him or clean his carpets?

TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Bishop wants a strawberry picking contest. Okay then.

TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: The discovery of cesium. Mark Tellegen, in a dual role, will play both Robert Wilhelm Bunsen and the young Prussian physicist Gustav Kirchhoff, the discoverers of cesium. Heather Morra will play their spectroscope. Jeremy Johnson will play Bunsen's modifications to University of Heidelburg technician Peter Desaga's burner (Bunsen receives unfair credit for the invention of the classic piece of laboratory equipment, for he merely modified (and improved upon) an existing design). Spark Sorensen takes on the role of the burner itself. Kristin Nielson will play cesium's atomic number, 55. Amy Shuba will portray Desaga, who, in a little known bit of history, was so enraged with the license Bunsen took with his burner design, plotted with some of Heidelburg's most infamous and thoroughly discredited scientists and researchers in the biggest smear campaign against Bunsen that venerable institution, the U of Heidelburg, ever saw. (There were several smear campaigns. Desaga's was the biggest.)

TONIGHT'S SINGLED OUT LIST MEMBER: Todd Lindo is singled out tonight. People have been wondering where he's been.

Team Bjeldanes results from 23 July: Us - 28. Them - 9. We kinda ruled that one. They kinda cried about it. Three and oh. Team Bjeldanes results from 30 July: Us - 9. Them - 8. Got some lucky calls. Tough D in the last inning. Four and oh going into the bye week.

The Water-Pik has been repaired. It was under warranty so the repairs didn't cost anything. The sign-up sheet will be distributed first thing. Get there early for a good number.

Do yerself a favor and come to the meeting tonight. Marvel at Sue Erokan's beautifully rendered likeness. Bring yer pals. bye-ee

Try this on, okay?

8.1.2k

Did you ever climb a tree only to find yourself unable to get down? I had a cat that we took camping and that little sucker climbed way up some ponderosa pine. Not a whole lot of horizontal limbs on this tree. Cricket could only go up. Couldn't turn around too easily. She just kinda hung there and squawked. I felt for her. I've been in situations where the way out wasn't too clear. Trees and other things. If you would like to talk to folks that get stuck up trees, the support group's meeting coincides with this week's TNSC meeting. Here:

Annies Cocktail Lounge
15 Boardman Pl San Francisco, CA 94103-4727
Phone: (415) 703-0865

You don't want to miss this. The keynote speaker has been stuck up in many a tree. New additions to the list: Brian and Kristin. Some folks call Kristin by her real name, Allison. Also new is a nice fella named Rob Williams. Returning to the list is our friend Colleen (She has a great story about the DMV and a lot of alcohol. Ask her to tell you.) Michael Weiss returns too. No one was purged from the list this week. Thanks to pinch hitter Mossy for last week's riveting TNSC announcement. Several of you wrote in to complain that I didn't give Rosey any guff a couple weeks back. Rosey hisownself noticed and mentioned it the next day. He also noticed that he got skipped on the ritual Friday morning slider run. I guess I'm responsible for Rosey's breakfast sandwich intake now, in addition to making sure his route to the TNSC meeting is mapped out. I wonder if he needs me to pay his rent next month for him or make some car repairs for him or shop for his mom's B-Day present or find a recipe for empanadas for him or pick out a Christmas tree for him or clean his carpets?

TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Bishop wants a strawberry picking contest. Okay then.

TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: The discovery of cesium. Mark Tellegen, in a dual role, will play both Robert Wilhelm Bunsen and the young Prussian physicist Gustav Kirchhoff, the discoverers of cesium. Heather Morra will play their spectroscope. Jeremy Johnson will play Bunsen's modifications to University of Heidelburg technician Peter Desaga's burner (Bunsen receives unfair credit for the invention of the classic piece of laboratory equipment, for he merely modified (and improved upon) an existing design). Spark Sorensen takes on the role of the burner itself. Kristin Nielson will play cesium's atomic number, 55. Amy Shuba will portray Desaga, who, in a little known bit of history, was so enraged with the license Bunsen took with his burner design, plotted with some of Heidelburg's most infamous and thoroughly discredited scientists and researchers in the biggest smear campaign against Bunsen that venerable institution, the U of Heidelburg, ever saw. (There were several smear campaigns. Desaga's was the biggest.)

TONIGHT'S SINGLED OUT LIST MEMBER: Todd Lindo is singled out tonight. People have been wondering where he's been.

Team Bjeldanes results from 23 July: Us - 28. Them - 9. We kinda ruled that one. They kinda cried about it. Three and oh. Team Bjeldanes results from 30 July: Us - 9. Them - 8. Got some lucky calls. Tough D in the last inning. Four and oh going into the bye week.

The Water-Pik has been repaired. It was under warranty so the repairs didn't cost anything. The sign-up sheet will be distributed first thing. Get there early for a good number.

Do yerself a favor and come to the meeting tonight. Marvel at Sue Erokan's beautifully rendered likeness. Bring yer pals. bye-ee

Buick

7.3.2k

I am going to cancel my cable TV subscription, and that's official. I've had it up to here paying for a service that I'm not satisfied with. Last night? NOTHING ON. There was a boring Giants game. There are 50-odd other channels and there was nuthin.' Zip. I turned the sucker off and cleaned the cat box. But check out what's on tonight on channel SKYLARK: The Thursday Night Social Club! Starring ... (cut and paste long list of list members here). This is "reality television" at its finest, folks. To enjoy, tune into channel:

Skylark
3089 16th St, San Francisco, CA 94103
(415) 621-9294

(Emmy goes to Belinda Johnstone, Director of Programming, Channel SKYLARK.)

New to the list this week is Tony Pezzella. Hi Tony. Now then, several hundred of you list members have written in to complain about the cancellation of THIS WEEK'S ARTS & CRAFTS. Comments ranged from pleas and begging to nostalgic waxing to hostility and threats of hostage-taking if A'n C is not restored. List Member Chris Weldon wrote: "I have great memories of making mashed potato sculpture with Jimi Simmons. We modeled his truck. We used ketchup to make the taters red. I'm sorry to see my old friend, THIS WEEK'S ARTS AND CRAFTS, go away." Another note, from longtime List Member Jim Rose (Not to be confused with ROSEY), was decidedly venomous: "The self-appointed "Founding Members' can %$@# my %$#&!! Who gives a %$# about some %$#^%$# feud? Carl and Todd want to fight - let 'em!! (Ed. note, see "DEW" (6.2.2K) and "Rosey" (7.1.2K).) Bring back A'n C you bunch of %$#%$!! We never got around to tie-dying!! What the %$#%# am I supposed to do with all this RITT???" For the record, this Founding Member would love to have A'n C back. I was outvoted 3 to 1. The good news is that TNSC is unveiling a brand new weekly event! In the TNSC tradition, it will be full of fun, excitement and gut-shaking thrills for all. Here it is, hope you like it: TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: Yow! Think about the tons of things that can be dramatically reenacted. We're going to kick off this exciting new event with a doozy.

TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: THE FIRST DOG IN SPACE. Moss will be playing Laika, who, on 3 November 1957, rode Sputnik II (played by Woody) into orbit of the Earth (Jerry Castro), becoming the first animal in space. Anna will be portraying the pressurized cabin and Kenny Solomon is in the role of Vladimir Sjevjenko Parasjovsinski, the tough-as-nails-yet-loveable Ground Control chief / dog trainer. This ought to salve those A'n C wounds.

TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Spitting contest. (Thank Lee Lee The Musical Bee for this charmer.)

TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: John Volny. Why not try for a John Volny record two-in-a-row, John?

The races scheduled for this weekend are cancelled. The monkeys were all dead in the shipping crate. I'm thinking FULL REFUND.

Team Bjeldanes is Two and Oh. Oh yeah. The game one opponent no-show and the stifling "D" of the nightcap gives us a big 2-0. Can you say First Place? Tune yer sets into Channel Skylark tonight at 7/7:30. Bring your pals. Who else misses Kurdrajevskaya? bye-ee!

Morgane Lhote is a babe!!

7.2.2k

The gunfighter of the Old West had to live his life ever-ready to kill or be killed. Those that knew them said they developed "cat eyes" - any sudden movement, any twitch, any motion - the gunman would be slapping leather and lead would be flying - usually with deadly results. The members of the Thursday Night Social Club live their Thursday nights ever-ready to buy a drink for their fellow list member. Those that know them say they develop "hawk eyes" - while on their way to the bar for a refill, they could spot a fellow list member with a near-emptied drink clear across the bar. That fellow list member would hear the refrain: "What was that, fellow list member; I'll be buying you another right now!" The TNSC member would be slapping bills on the bar and drinks would be pouring - usually with fun results!

From J. Lechuga's introduction to I Was Born In Tennessee: The Myth and Reality of the Thursday Night Social Club, Stuart Pidd, author; University of Bisbee Press, 1999.

Ah, academia. Do you miss it? I sure do. We had a prof that would sometimes hold class at the bar around the corner. That was certainly a highlight. Class this week is to be held here:

Make Out Room
3225 22nd St San Francisco, CA 94110-3006
Phone: (415) 647-2888

Some business: I misspelled Lori K's name last week as Lisa K. I'm a poor typist. I also said that I added Amy's sister to the list but didn't. "This time for sure." Amy herownself is back on the list. Anybody wanna bet if she drives in from Mountain View or Sunnyvale or San Diego or wherever she's at? John Metsker has the current odds. Founding Member Susan "dynamite" Smith is back on the list. Don't ask me why she's been left off - it's a long story involving international intrigue that the State Department forbids me from getting into. Rosey asked if he could bring his 12-year old nephew to the meeting. I'm not one to say no, but could somebody check the state of CA's Legal Drinking Age for Rosey? He may find his own answer there. On that notion, Rosey found his own way to the meeting last week. No map. Yay! This Founding Member thinks Old Man Rosey is starting to come around. (See Metsker for them odds, too.)

TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Jarts. Watch yerself. They were recalled for a reason, remember?

TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBERS: Belinda Johnstone. She should be a model for the rest of us. Miss Johnstone suggested a venue - true to the spirit of TNSC - for next week. Not this week cause she's off to Ohio for god knows what. Hurry back, Belinda, we'll see you 7.3.2K! Also singled-out: Jason Porter. Did not come to the meeting last week. Birthday tomorrow. Gift ideas: matches, pencil sharpeners, vampire novels. Perhaps he'll show tonight and cash in.

No homework this week cause you've all been really good. Don't forget permission slips for the brewery tour. Bring someone to make out with at the Make Out Room. (Who is Morgane Lhote?) bye-ee!

Rosey

7.1.2k

If you had a screw-top head, you could unscrew, carefully lift out your brain and leave it at home Thursday nights so it wouldn't go gettin' in the way. Here are some instances of the damn thing gettin' in the way:

1. You say something stupid. Example: "Can I get a map to the bar, please, I do not know where it is." It's your brain that knows all the words and how to put them together to form a stupid sentence.

2. You do something stupid. Example: You knock over a full pint of your fellow list member's sweet, sweet beer. There again is your brain mucking things up. It tells your arms to flail wildly behind your back without looking over your shoulder to see if anything like a full pint of your fellow list member's sweet, sweet beer is back there.

Do yourself a favor and leave that darn thing at home tonight. Leave it when you're off to:

Il Pirata
2007 16th St. SF
(415) 626-2626

(Thursday night is hotdog night at the Il Pirata. boo-ya.)

Are you used to not getting maps yet? Good. Don't hold your breath for one. Most folks can get around a small city just fine, thank you very much. Most others know several excellent web sites that generate M A P S and D R I V I N G D I R E C T I O N S for free. Others are unclear on this concept. I shall not name names, but "you know who you are." New to the list is Amy "Quitter" Whitehead's sister, Sarah. Lisa K. is new too. Oh yeah, and the softball team: Erik, Heather, Patrick, Patrick (a different one), Dave, Woody, Haneefah, and Emily. No one came off the list this week. If you or someone you know want off the list (or need the TNSC weekly sent to an alternate address) lemme know.

Tonight's Contest: NEW CONTEST: "Guess the Random Number." (Thanks for the suggestion Bobo.) Also: "Name the Softball Team," and "Design the Softball Team's Uniform."

Tonight's Arts and Crafts: It's difficult to report this, but "Tonight's Arts and Crafts" is being discontinued. It seems that a nasty little feud going on between Carl and Todd ever since that scrape they had in the hopscotch contest (see "DEW" (6.2.2K)). The feud spilled over into Arts and Crafts, and last week's WICKER! Arts and Crafts theme got out of hand. Todd set fire to a really great wicker chaise lounge that Carl made and Carl retaliated by letting a bunch of cats scratch on the legs of Todd's almost-finished wicker couch. The Founding Members determined that discontinuing A&C would remove the venue for "feud escalation." The Founding Member's report will be posted in a few weeks, as soon as it is decrypted and edited for content. Todd and Carl have been talked to.

Tonight's Singled-Out List Member: Rob Bonstin. What the heck is up with Rob? Have ya seen Old Man Mossy's pics from 6.4.2K? Pretty good stuff. Thanks Mossy. They're here: http://www.kingofusa.com/tnsc/

Thanks to all of you who sent in fruitcake recipes. They have all been destroyed. Our chapter destroyed another 57 fruitcake recipes this quarter. We gained some ground and are ranked 413th nationally, up from 558. Yea!

See you tonight. Bring your old lady or old man. Leave the brain. bye-ee

R & B

6.5.2k

Howdy folks. I was going through my CD's the other night and I found a great blues compilation CD that I had totally forgotten about. I think I lifted it from one of my neighbors a long time ago. All I got was the CD and it had artwork all over it and - total bummer - no track names or artists were identified. This totally sucks because there's some kick butt songs. One has this woman singing about her man's foot getting chopped off. Drag. This other dude's lady skips out on him and his dog runs off. That's bluesy. I haven't listened for so long this other song took me totally by surprise. I had to listen to it again to make sure I heard it right, but on second listen it was the same. I couldn't believe it. The parallels to the TNSC are scary! REALLY WEIRD. Here's the words so you can see for yourself. Try to sing it - blues-style. The music's your standard blues rhythm, guitar, drum. Foot tappin.' Low old-dude voice. Use yer imagination:


Tonight you wan have fun
I'll tell you where you wa-na go
Said tonight you wan have you some fun
I'll tell you where you want to go
Jus you lissen up here fo 'while 'tell you
ev'ry lil bit you need to know

Goin out with bunch of folks tonight
prob'ly have too much to drink
goin out with a bunch of friends tonight
likely mess with the way I think
sure to be a real smoky place
when you get home you gonna stink

Lotsa people goin be there
so do what you can ta make th'scene
many people goin' be at that bar
you'll be packed in like a sardine
here's where I reveal to you where we're goin:
See you tonight at LUCKY THIRTEEN

Old man Rosey ain't goin be there
No one drew him a map
Said ol man Rosey won't be showin' up
Ain't nobody drew him no map
Prolly jes go on home cross the bay
have him a little vodka-induced nap

So see the rest-ya at the bar tonight
We'll have a real wild time
meet you a the bar tonight
sure to be a really wild time
If'n you don't get home till real, real late
Ain't a bit of fault of mine.


See what I mean? Whoa! Isn't that part about Rosey trippy? I mean, what a coincidence! WE have a TNSC list member named Rosey who always needs a map. Too bad he didn't sing about Lottery numbers. I'da had to play them. So let's take a cue from an old bluesman and meet up at the Lucky Thirteen. It's here:

Lucky 13
2140 Market St San Francisco, CA 94114-1319
Phone: (415) 487-1313



New to the list this week: Jeff Goldenson, Wendy Miller, Jerry Castro, Mrs Amanda Rose (NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH "ROSEY"). Welcome to FUN! Returning to the list: Kathleen Michaud.

Contest: Pickin' and Grinnin'

Arts & Craft: WICKER!

Singled-Out List Member: Amy Whitehead. Quitter. Someone tell her she's singled out, as she doesn't get this email anymore.

Be nice to someone tonight: Bring 'em to the Thursday Night Social Club meeting. See you at the pre-arranged time! bye-ee!

DEW (distant early warning)

6.3.2k

Friday, 16 June 2000

Dear Marvin, You'll never believe what you missed last night, you loser! It was one of the best TNSC meetings ever! Here's what happened: Everybody met at around 7 or 7:30 at the Irish Bank bar. You know, it's that place in the alley? Look here, it's called

The Irish Bank Bar And Restaurant
10 Mark Ln San Francisco, CA 94108-3703
Phone: (415) 788-7152

The cross streets are Grant and Bush. Its in the alley. Not too hard to find. That guy Rosey was there and I don't think he even had a map. Can you believe that? CRAZY! But that's NOTHING compared to the rest of the night.

Okay. That guy Alan (or is it Allen)? You know, the really nice guy with the long curly hair who always buys everyone drinks even if they're not wearing a tie? Well it was his birthday. (He was telling everyone he was 25 but I think that's total bullshit. He's 25 and I'm a 55 gallon barrel of United Arab Emirates crude.) Everybody there seems to have had this information in advance because they plied him with a lot of great stuff. Cufflinks, lighters, smokes, gin, Volkswagens, Folgers coffee (yum) and tons of domestic light beer from Golden, Colorado (super yum!). There was a special celebrity guest (not telling who) and lots of list members who haven't showed up in a while actually came. Matt Fassberg, for one. He ditched his wife and kid for a measly little bitty HOUR and came by for one. He brought his employee Uriah Lovelycolors (don't you love her name). She hasn't been for as long as I can remember. There was one new person added to the list: BJ Bateman, and no one removed.

The contest was fun: hopscotch. We chalked it right on the alley and played for a long time. There was a fight. Carl and Todd. Too bad. The arts and craft was finger painting. Kinda messy, but you should see the finger paint portrait that John Metsker did of a guy sleeping by the dumpster. It's really colorful and nice. The singled out list member was me! Why the hell was I singled out? I go to the meetings all the time! I thought the whole "Singled out list member" stuff was supposed to make people feel bad for whining about not being on the list then not coming.

Yeah, well ... the party moved to the Top of the Mark (for Alan's birthday) where Bud E. Luv's band was playing. TotM is in the Mark Hopkins Hotel. People who wanted to go to this dressed appropriately. It was fun. Here's a website to see what you missed: www.budeluv.com I'll send you pictures later. You're a total jerk for not coming. Alan asked about you and I lied and told him you were at the Giants game. Lucky for us he didn't know that the Giants played a day game. I said hi to Moss and Shuba and Bobo for you. Susan Smith is still pissed at you.

Okay bye-ee

Violins

6.2.2k

A long, long time ago I had a pet silverfish. It was quite the non-standard pet; not a single pet food store had silverfish food. Purina did not manufacture "Silverfish Chow." I guessed that not a lot of folks kept the little suckers as pets. I got a little worried when it didn't eat for a while. For a little over a year, actually. It got a little thin. It seemed happy, though. It really perked up when I discovered it's favorite foods: dried beef, flour, starch, paper, gum, glue, cotton, linen, rayon, silk, sugar, molds and breakfast cereals. It went through a LOT of cereal. Super Sugar Crisp. (It was a long time ago and it used to be okay to include the word "sugar" in product names. Now Post, Kellogg's and the big G wuss out and call things "Super Golden Crisp." yawn.) Anyhoo, tonight's venue for some weird reason reminded me of the happy days of scuttling across the concrete floor of the basement in Pittsburgh, PA, with my pet silverfish:

POW!
6th and Mission.

Rosey you go and dig out an old email with a map to POW!

Moss alternate email added to list. No one taken off this week. Next week? Is Serena Warner's address correct, or does she just keep getting better offers Thursday nights?

Alan Chimenti birthday next week. He likes cufflinks, lighters, ties, tikis, Volkswagens, gin and smokes. He will be 25.

Contests: Bloody knuckles. Chili pepper eating. Quilting (Tama not eligible).

This week's Art's and Crafts: God's eyes. (Bring your own popsicle sticks. Yarn will be provided.)

This week's singled-out list member: Uriah Lovelycolors. She said something like "See you there" last week. I didn't see her. Did anyone else?

bye-ee!

Jeopardy!

6.1.2k

"Pool halls for $200, please."

"The answer: Good bet for bad food; bad bet for TNSC."

"What is the 'Great Entertainer?"

"Correct for $200. Choose again."

"Potent Potable Purveyors for $1000, please, Alex, you little know-it-all."

"The answer is ... The Daily Double. (applause) How much you wanna bet?"

"All of it. You betcha."

"The answer: This Potent Potable Purveyor is known for its great location, its famous drinks, its illustrious past and present staff, and its status as this weeks destination for the TNSC invasion."

(confidently) "The Orbit Room ... er ... 'what is the Orbit Room?'"

"Correct. You win. I quit. Here's someone to tell you more about it ..."

Thanks Alex. That's right, people, git ye over t'the Orbit so's ye kin wet yer whistle with all yer Thursday night pals. Market and Valencia, or Guerrero, I think. Somethin' like that. You've been there before. I told you last week no map and that's the way it's gonna be. Rosey his ownself has been to the Orbit and prob doesn't even need a map. Who knows, maybe he does. I have to give him a map to his office, sometimes. I'm glad I don't know where he lives 'cause he'd prob ask me to plot a course home for him ...

Welcome Greg and Kristin new to the list, and Gareth back to the list.

Tonight's Contests: more "Jeopardy!," a little "Joker's Wild," and a wee pat of "The Dating Game."

This week's Art's and Crafts: potato stamps and ink pads (variety color pack)

This week's singled-out list member: Chris Green. He moved. He's never coming again. Bye Chris. The Giants suck.

Rosey ain't gonna be here tonight, but this will wait in his In Box to taunt him later next week. ha ha

Heads Up!!

5.4.2k

Incoming!!

Think back for a minute. Think about when you were a kid. What did you like to do most?

Climb trees? Eat Popsicle's? Play "Marco Polo?"

Fast forward. What do you like to do most now?

Day trade? Collect salt and pepper shakers? Drink a lot of booze?

If you like to drink a lot of booze, you're in luck, boy and girl. This is the official Thursday Night Social Club email communication! Accept no others! Tonight your fellow list members will descend on this little gem of a bar:

Annie's

Annies Cocktail Lounge
15 Boardman Pl
San Francisco, CA 94103-4727

No complaints about Annie's. What a jukebox. And you can smoke OUTSIDE!! yow!

Rosey's still out of town so once again there's no need for a map. Can you believe he needs a map to Annie's? The place is about a hundred steps from where he works for crying out loud.

Tonight's Contests: bubblegum bubbles, hold-your-breath, jump-rope, cartography (we can have this contest while Rosey's gone, otherwise we would spend the entire night explaining it to him.)

This week's Art's and Crafts: Stew-meat and puppets.

This week's singled-out list member: Sue Erokan. (Miss Sue is singled out this week because there's a great portrait of her on the wall at Annie's. Come out tonight and see it - and see Sue!!)

Don't have the time to reformat this automatically formatted message. It sure looks like crap, doesn't it? Thanks to our helpful friends at Microsoft for making such a wonderfully intuitive product that thinks it knows more than you how you want your document formatted. I was lucky enough to get the font size I wanted. sheesh! vaya con queso!

who, what, when, where, why, how

5.3.2k

Answers below:

You delightful members of the Thursday Night Social Club.

Tonight's meeting.

Tonight.

500 Club.

Because it's Thursday.

Walk, bus, bike, hang glide ... jes git there.



500 Club is located here: 500 Guerrero at 17th St. No need for a map, old man Rosey is out of town. The rest of you don't seem to need hand-holding. Don't expect a map next week either. He'll still be gone.

At 9:30 tonight, our friend Cameron's band is playing at Amnesia. Cover is free. I think. I can't remember. Amnesia is located on Valencia, between 19th and 20th. I think. I can't remember.

Some list members haven't attended a meeting for a long time. This is an observation. Is there a compelling reason why they should still be on the list? Your thoughts on this.

Tonight's Contests: Secret Santa, apple bobbing, balloon art, arm wrestling.

NEW WEEKLY EVENT: Arts and Crafts!! This week's Art's and Crafts: Cork and wire.

NEW WEEKLY EVENT: Single Out a List Member!! This week's singled-out list member: Serena Warner

Bye for now!

Thu.Nig.Soc.Clu.

5.2.2k

Hello all and welcome to 5.2.2k.

Tonight for your social event, please enjoy this lovely venue:

Doc's Clock

It can be found at: 2575 Mission St San Francisco, CA 94110-2511 Phone: (415) 824-3627

Tonight's contests: poker face contest, parallel parking, tamale eating, alliteration. Bring a friend if'n you got any.

beans

5.1.2k

this week: A N N I E' S.

Set your clocks. Recording begins, as always, 7-7:30. Bryant and Boardman.

Tonight's contests: school spirit, costume contest, biathalon, spelling bee.

tnsc

4.4.2k

Tune your TV sets into channel ...

LiLo Lounge

Guess where it is? Potrero Hill.

Here's what the internet says:

Lilo Lounge
San Francisco, CA
Phone: (415) 643-5678

Nice. How 'bout an address for Rosey? How the heck is the guy going to
find it. Maybe he'll see the number, not unlike a phone number, and
call for directions. hmmmm.

Tonight's contests:
find a chair at Lilo, find space to stand at Lilo, get a drink at Lilo,
oh, and re-assume control of your drinking club. goddamn
revolutionaries.

next week: A N N I E' S. Set your clocks.

tnsc

4.3.2k

Channeled from Josh,

The answer is:

Das El Bobo

1539 Folsom

You've been there before. They have fantastic potatoes (Kartoffeln!)

mwg

tnsc

4.2.2k

your venue:

POW!

6th and Mission

watch yer wallet

next week yer on yer own ...

tnsc

4.1.2k

remember where we went last week?

Annie's.

Get there however you can.

Date: Thursday, March 16, 2000 15:29
Subject: you sound surprised ...

Remember that joint called "Beer Ness?" It is gone, but in it's place
is a joint called:

Bohemia
1624 California St
San Francisco, CA 94109-4604
Phone: (415) 474-6968

I got Rosey's frikkin' map as an attachment. It's the best I can do
with this Microsoft product. (Anybody know how to include the thing in
an actual message rather than as an attachment wins tonight's contest.)

John Metsker asked if he could be mentioned in today's email.
John-John, ask and ye shall receive! He wants everyone to remember not
to take his parking space right out front of ... where are we going? ...
oh yeah, "Bohemia." There's been a rash of people taking his parking
space and, well, he's gettin' a little fed up. Ask yourself if you too
would be fed up BEFORE you judge our Charter Member.

In an unrelated note, Shuba, Whitehead, and Mrs. Alan Chimenti please
resist John's parking space.

This Charter Member wants to wish all list members an early Happy
Opening Day, the real thing being a mere 13 days away. How the Cubbies
got talked into playing in Japan is beyond me.

Sue Erokan shamelessly plugs her bellydance gig at the El Rio tonight at
10:30. I mean JeeZ!!! Advertise on Yahoo! or something.


bye-ee!


oh yeah, all or most of the above has not been corroborated, so it's not
really official. The part about the Bohemia is real, and I guess "Sue
Erokan performing LIVE at the El Rio tonight at 10:30" is pretty
official too, but some of the other stuff sounds kinda fishy to THIS
Charter Member ...

Date: Thursday, March 9, 2000 16:04
Subject: rejoice! (or ... "What time is it!?")

Rejoice all ye fried fiesta fans ... It's ...

(the) Doc's Clock (Mission and 22nd) time again!

(If you're one to keep track, it has not been Doc's Clock time since
2september99! If you're not, the List Manager IS ... lucky you!)

Curse John Volny if you don't like the Clock, but yer a fool if you
don't (according to the Charter Members). Doc's Clock is like John
Metsker ... "What's not to like?" (see 2.2.2k).

Hope to see some local Robots, MIA members, RAUB SHAPIRO, etc.

want a contest? OKAY! 1. Name that tune! 2. Resist Popeye's! 3.
Suggest Next Week's Venue!

coming soon to this mailing list ... "Meet your Charter Member."
bye-ee!

Date: Thursday, March 2, 2000 16:34
Subject: 3.1.2K

Hi. Go here:

The Max
1 Gilbert St.
552-7818

Gilbert Street is just past 7th Street off Bryant. The bar is right
across from the jail. Good for some of you.

Tonight's contest: "Hypopigmentation"

Date: Thursday, February 24, 2000 14:41
Subject: lame

Hey! Only "The Founders" and select "Honorary Founders" showed up last
week. How lame!

Now is your chance to make up for it.


Noc Noc
557 Haight St
San Francisco, CA 94117-3406
Phone: (415) 861-5811

The "Haight St" (above) should tip off all those (Rosey) who need a map
where in San Francisco, California this bar is. If you are in a car
driving on "Haight St" or riding a motorcycle or bike or hell, even
WALKING on "Haight St," look at the street addresses listed on the
buildings, and when you get to number "557," go in and meet the TNSC as
they honor Mr. Moss Gross for making it all the way to thirty years.

Contest: Get to "557 Haight St/San Francisco, Ca" without a map; think
of catchy phrases with the words "thirty" or "557 Haight St/San
Francisco, Ca" in them; paste maps into Microsoft-based e-mail
applications from Microsoft-based Web browsers running on computers
using Microsoft-based operating systems.


bye-ee

Date: Thursday, February 17, 2000 16:55
Subject: Re: 2.3.2K

Josh sez:

Julies Supper Club

7->7:30 pm as usual

Folsom St. somewhere around 7th st

Find it yourself this week.

Date: Thursday, January 6, 2000 15:18
Subject: Tennessee tonight!

We shall hold meeting 1.1.2K at

San Francisco Brewing Company thank you Moss, et al.

here:

San Francisco Brewing Co.
155 Columbus Ave, San Francisco, CA 94133
(415) 434-3344

You may be asking yourself "why 1.1.2K and not 1.6.2K?" Well my friends, we here at TNSC have enacted a new policy.
The policy is as follows:
First digit: Month (1=January, for example),
Second digit: Meeting number (or "week" if you wish) of month,
and you may guess, 2K means "Y2K."
So there you have it folks, a new and exciting way to differentiate TNSC meetings now and forever more.

See you in North Beach!


Contest: try not to end up at Mr. Bings for a nitecap.