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If someone says the words, "I've been thinking about suicide lately," most people will assume that the person is thinking about committing suicide and not merely about the act itself. I say this because I started this very Venue Announcement with those words and I know that some of you ... well, a lot of you don't read much of the Venue Announcement except for maybe the first sentence and the venue itself and THIS PAINS ME but that ain't my point right now. My point is that I didn't want you all to read the words, "I've been thinking about suicide lately," and think that I'm thinking about committing suicide and not simply thinking of the act itself. I have been thinking of suicide since this past Monday's news item that Hunter S. Thompson blasted his brains out.

I've been a fan of HST since I started reading his work while still a lad in high school. Both my folks were English majors in college and they held onto a lot of their books and so we had literally (heh) a wall of books in one of the rooms in the house. In addition to being an invaluable resource when required to read the classics, as our collection usually had the book in it, once I became both interested in reading for fun and interested in reading things I wasn't supposed to, the collection made good on this, too. For example, we had a great book on Greek mythology. Fun stuff. Also found in the stacks a book called, "Stories of Scarlet Women." Sweet! It was published by Esquire Magazine and had stories about whores by famous authors, notably among them Ernest Hemmingway, himself a suicide victim.

After finishing the Book of Sluts, I peeked around and found a little green hardcover called "Hells Angels." I hadn't ever heard of Hunter S. Thompson, but I became an instant fan and sought out and devoured as much of his work as I could find. So it was with sadness that I greeted the news of his death.

Then I heard that he had some kind of disease and figured, what the hell. I can't fault a guy whose been given a death sentence from his doctor for choosing the quick way out.

So thinking about suicide, I recalled the time many years ago that my sister and I witnessed a suicide. It was pretty dramatic, as it was that special kind of suicide known as Suicide-By-Cop. Here's what went down: We spent the day at my dad's place in rural Lake County Illinois, barbecuing meats and drinking beers. After the fun and games, we bid farewell to my pop and drove toward the highway home but only got to the end of the drive when we saw a fox. A real fox! I like foxes so I got kinda excited and yelled something like, "Holy fucking shit, there's a goddamn sonofabitch FOX!!!" Sister was driving and hit the brakes. Foxy sat there by the side of the road and let us admire her. Sister and I were all smiles until we realized something weren't right with the fox. Foxy didn't seem to see us and, well, didn't move much at all. Kinda had a glazed look about her. Blasting the horn of the car didn't scare her off. She only slightly turned her little nose toward us. Yep. Something was wrong. We turned the car around and went back to our dad's to use the phone to call ... what were we thinking? The pound? We called the pound and they sent the cops. We met the cop, a giant, corn-fed dud of a trooper, near where we saw the fox and pointed her out, as she was still there. The cop chock-chocked his riot gun and my sister screamed, "FUCK, you're going to shoot her?" Cop said you bet yr ass I'm gonna shoot and with a gleam in his eye, leaned out the window and with a mighty blast, turned the fox into pudding. I had to console the sister as we sped out of there. "Ol' lady foxy was sick, ya see? And like them weirdoes that wave their pistols at cops so they'll get shot cuz they're too scared to pull down on themselves, ol' foxy knew she was sick and needed to die. She prolly thought suicide by cop was easier than runnin' under some truck."

Ol' foxy was prolly right. Still, the look on that little face still haunts me ...

Tonight - Lone Palm.

Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!

What's not to like? Alan will be attending tonight after two consecutive weeks away on biz.

bye-ee!

whrr ... clik!