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1.5.2k8
The product-placement avalanche that's saturated the media has finally caught up to the TNSC website. I've accepted some offers from various product ... er ... producers in exchange for ... er ... I dunno. Peace of mind? It's all tied up in contract negotiation and frankly, I fall asleep at the first mention of a "reasonable person" or "estoppel." I don't know precisely what the lawyers are doing, but they're a crack team and couldn't possibly screw it up.
I do know that you aren't gonna see me holding up a box of Tide™, although when I did laundry I used that brand. You won't see enjoying Malt-o-Meal™ ... ever. On a related note, I praise the decision-making behind our family NOT being an Ovaltine™ family when I was a child. I would never endorse it. That shit is nasty.
It's an exciting development and I can't wait to share the many promised rewards with you beautiful people.
Peace out!
Tonight - Homestead.
Five TNSC meetings this month ... how many did YOU attend?
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Not for long.
1.4.2k8
Some famous actor did too many drugs and ended up dead. Some thousands of people who couldn't afford to buy a house up and bought houses, only to default on the loans and help contribute to the economy's slide into the pit. I hear over and over how sad it all is. I'm afraid I ain't all that sad.
Dude, ya get yr ass addicted to heavy drugs, a consequence - a forseable consequence - is winding up dead from them. Shocker!
My little wife and I have discussed buying a house and determined that even with our salaries, zero debt and no dependents we COULD NOT afford a house. So we didn't buy one and didn't default on our loan. Shocker number 2!
I'm a bit weary of all this sadness for bullshit decisions people make. As I said, I ain't sad. If I had to borrow a feeling, it would be pity.
I pity the foo' who takes too many drugs and drops. I pity the foo' buyin' houses when they can't afford it.
T was so right with his generous pity.
Tonight - just like the booze ... Jay & Bee's.
Don your mustache, and come on out and with lil' Timmy Pries a Happy 30th Birthday!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
1.4.2k8
Some famous actor did too many drugs and ended up dead. Some thousands of people who couldn't afford to buy a house up and bought houses, only to default on the loans and help contribute to the economy's slide into the pit. I hear over and over how sad it all is. I'm afraid I ain't all that sad.
Dude, ya get yr ass addicted to heavy drugs, a consequence - a forseable consequence - is winding up dead from them. Shocker!
My little wife and I have discussed buying a house and determined that even with our salaries, zero debt and no dependents we COULD NOT afford a house. So we didn't buy one and didn't default on our loan. Shocker number 2!
I'm a bit weary of all this sadness for bullshit decisions people make. As I said, I ain't sad. If I had to borrow a feeling, it would be pity.
I pity the foo' who takes too many drugs and drops. I pity the foo' buyin' houses when they can't afford it.
T was so right with his generous pity.
Tonight - just like the booze ... Jay & Bee's.
Don your mustache, and come on out and with lil' Timmy Pries a Happy 30th Birthday!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
River Thames
1.3.2k8
I've been in a war with my college roommate for some time now. I don't know for sure when or how it started, but I know I just won.
Early in our relationship, when we were, in fact, college roommates in a dorm, we would spent every weekday evening in front of the tele watching reruns of "Hill Street Blues" on WGN. A great show, to be sure, but commercial television always had something going against it: Commercials. I've hated them forever, despite the irony of working in commercial post-production for many, many years. I made the most of the commercial breaks by calling every toll-free number , stating my name as my roommate's name - Phil - and ordering the money-back-guaranteed, free 90-day-trial of whatever product was advertised, all the while Phil sat listening to everything I said. He only shook his head and waited for Hill, Renko, Belcher and Capt. Furino to come back to us.
Days or weeks later the goods would arrive: Hair Club for Men™ demo videos, applications to Space Camp™, DiDiSeven™ stain-remover samples. A Clapper™. A Salad Spinner™. A Bowflex™ (Phil got kinda riled at that one.)
That we haven't lived together for some time has certainly slowed the frequency of me shipping him random things, but the dog still hunts: I sent him a package last week that contained an item costing $7.50 and requiring $6.50 in shipping, but it was worth it: I didn't know or care if Phil had a ball-pein hammer because he was gonna get one.
He got it a week later and called. "You've outdone yourself," he said, "never in a million years would I guessed that the box addressed to 'Assistant Herb Strewer Phil' contained what it did. I can think of a thousand uses for it and what's more, I know how to spell 'pein' now."
Missio Accomplishio.
Tonight - The El Knockout SF.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
"Worst Music Ever"
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
1.3.2k8
I've been in a war with my college roommate for some time now. I don't know for sure when or how it started, but I know I just won.
Early in our relationship, when we were, in fact, college roommates in a dorm, we would spent every weekday evening in front of the tele watching reruns of "Hill Street Blues" on WGN. A great show, to be sure, but commercial television always had something going against it: Commercials. I've hated them forever, despite the irony of working in commercial post-production for many, many years. I made the most of the commercial breaks by calling every toll-free number , stating my name as my roommate's name - Phil - and ordering the money-back-guaranteed, free 90-day-trial of whatever product was advertised, all the while Phil sat listening to everything I said. He only shook his head and waited for Hill, Renko, Belcher and Capt. Furino to come back to us.
Days or weeks later the goods would arrive: Hair Club for Men™ demo videos, applications to Space Camp™, DiDiSeven™ stain-remover samples. A Clapper™. A Salad Spinner™. A Bowflex™ (Phil got kinda riled at that one.)
That we haven't lived together for some time has certainly slowed the frequency of me shipping him random things, but the dog still hunts: I sent him a package last week that contained an item costing $7.50 and requiring $6.50 in shipping, but it was worth it: I didn't know or care if Phil had a ball-pein hammer because he was gonna get one.
He got it a week later and called. "You've outdone yourself," he said, "never in a million years would I guessed that the box addressed to 'Assistant Herb Strewer Phil' contained what it did. I can think of a thousand uses for it and what's more, I know how to spell 'pein' now."
Missio Accomplishio.
Tonight - The El Knockout SF.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
"Worst Music Ever"
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Dragonfly
1.2.2k8
Ever since the mighty google took over this blogger site my life has been great. All the racehorses I bet on come in winners. The injured crow that I rescued from the gutter seconds before the street sweeper got him is now happily flying around the apartment, raining death from above down on our two miscreant kitties. My job picked up and moved two blocks closer to home and installed a gourmet kitchen - a teaching kitchen - and now we learn to make crepes and watch demos of turducken assembly while waiting on renders.
My allergies have gone away. I stumbled upon a drug deal gone wrong, found the suitcase full of cash and I don't have a dutchboy-coiffed Spaniard with a pneumatic bolt-gun on my tail. The Perrier™ doesn't make me burp.
My landlord is installing wood flooring. The heater constantly emits the roasting dust stench I love so much.
Google is my pal. It has brought me wonder and joy. Much like tonight's venue used to.
Tonight - Hemlock Tavern.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
Time to get out of that wet weather and into a dry martini.
Lots of "out of town" guests. Bring your friends.
That is all.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
1.2.2k8
Ever since the mighty google took over this blogger site my life has been great. All the racehorses I bet on come in winners. The injured crow that I rescued from the gutter seconds before the street sweeper got him is now happily flying around the apartment, raining death from above down on our two miscreant kitties. My job picked up and moved two blocks closer to home and installed a gourmet kitchen - a teaching kitchen - and now we learn to make crepes and watch demos of turducken assembly while waiting on renders.
My allergies have gone away. I stumbled upon a drug deal gone wrong, found the suitcase full of cash and I don't have a dutchboy-coiffed Spaniard with a pneumatic bolt-gun on my tail. The Perrier™ doesn't make me burp.
My landlord is installing wood flooring. The heater constantly emits the roasting dust stench I love so much.
Google is my pal. It has brought me wonder and joy. Much like tonight's venue used to.
Tonight - Hemlock Tavern.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
Time to get out of that wet weather and into a dry martini.
Lots of "out of town" guests. Bring your friends.
That is all.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Psychiatric Help
1.1.2k8
Was the same Republican scumbag jerk who spun "Global Warming" into "Climate Change" and the "Estate Tax" into the "Death Tax" the same douchebag who found that the word "Sale" was too uncouth a description for the period of time they were to offer the cars at their dealership at a reduced price? Seems to me the same lump of asshole-like brain was behind all of the above. No, no, says he, no I will not call my car sale a car sale. Why, these cars are christing LEXUSes. L. EX. U. S. "Luxury EXport U.S." They do not go on sale. There may well be a HAPPENING in which their price is reduced. There may be such an EVENT. Yes. An event! Our upper-class customers won't go to a sale, but they will attend a motherfucking EVENT!!
But everything's an event now. Not only the Caddys, Mercs and Lexuses. The Jeeps, Miatas and Saabs have events now, rather than sales. The toy stores, Best Buys and Sears only have events. The Thai menu on my doorknob has coupons for curry events. The dentist has filling events. I'm sick of it. I'm gonna build a kiosk and have a good old-fashioned lemonade sale on my street. Sale price? Fo-free!
Tonight - Orbit Room.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
1.1.2k8
Was the same Republican scumbag jerk who spun "Global Warming" into "Climate Change" and the "Estate Tax" into the "Death Tax" the same douchebag who found that the word "Sale" was too uncouth a description for the period of time they were to offer the cars at their dealership at a reduced price? Seems to me the same lump of asshole-like brain was behind all of the above. No, no, says he, no I will not call my car sale a car sale. Why, these cars are christing LEXUSes. L. EX. U. S. "Luxury EXport U.S." They do not go on sale. There may well be a HAPPENING in which their price is reduced. There may be such an EVENT. Yes. An event! Our upper-class customers won't go to a sale, but they will attend a motherfucking EVENT!!
But everything's an event now. Not only the Caddys, Mercs and Lexuses. The Jeeps, Miatas and Saabs have events now, rather than sales. The toy stores, Best Buys and Sears only have events. The Thai menu on my doorknob has coupons for curry events. The dentist has filling events. I'm sick of it. I'm gonna build a kiosk and have a good old-fashioned lemonade sale on my street. Sale price? Fo-free!
Tonight - Orbit Room.
Here's tonight's: Find the Reference!
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
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