Slam!

10.4.2kXI

I was walking through a parking lot the other day and a fellow standing among the parked cars tried to get my attention.  "Sir?  Sir?"  I didn't look back:  I've lived in cities long enough to know that he could be trying to show me his dong.
"Sir? Sir?  Can I ask you a question?"  He said as he pursued me (and I was walking briskly).
I looked over my shoulder, "Yo."
"Hey, man," he said, "Look."  I slowed and stopped.  Mostly because I had a feeling about what was going to happen and I wanted to know the "fine points."
"Look," he said, as he caught up to me, "My name is James Evans.  I live at bla bla bla (he had taken out his wallet and was showing me his ID).
"Yes?" I said.
"Look, man.  This is who I am and this is where I live."
"Yes?"
"I got a wife and two kids and my car won't start.  I gotta get home.  I need $13.50 for the cab and I got six bucks.  Can you help me out?"
I said the truth:  "I have no cash for you."
He said, 'Okay.  God bless you."

I wanted to know what I called the "fine points" of his pitch because I've heard many of them before, I wanted to know if it was something new.  It wasn't.  I've heard "I'm THIS short of a train ticket to wherever," "My car won't start/I'm locked out/I'm out of gas and I need a cab," "My wife needs toothpaste and I'm 75¢ short ... "


Is there anyone out there who hasn't heard these pitches before?  Are there enough people who keep falling for them?  There must be if there are still people trying them.


Tonight - Homestead.


bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!

Thrill Kill Kult

10.3.2kXII

My Life with Bufalo® brand Chipotle sauce.

I discovered this magic stuff while living in SF.  In a nutshell, it's black as Hell, thick as ketchup and while not terribly hot, it's got a nice heat, but its best quality is its smoky flavor.  It's unlike any other chipotle sauce.  If you see it, buy at least six bottles.  It'll run you about six bucks (seriously), but it tastes like a million of 'em.

After my first bottle I was hooked.  I bought mine at what was Leonardo's 2001 (it's now "Cheese Plus) for 95¢.  The next week I bought six bottles.  A few weeks later, I was due to renew my supply and there were none to be found.  I asked the guy about it and he said he had a fight with his supplier and there were no more coming.  I was distraught.

A few weeks later, I visited the shop and found it resupplied!!  I took ALL the bottles from the shelf to the counter (no lie) and chatted with the guy.  He remembered me from before and assured me that the fight with the supplier was over.  I told him I believed him but I wasn't taking any chances.  He asked me if I wanted a case.  I did.  (It was fun hauling that case of hot sauce through the Polk Gulch all afternoon.)

When I moved to Alameda, I found a vendor.
When I moved to LA, I found a vendor.

At some point a few months back, a different Bufalo® brand sauce - Rojo Jalapeño - joined the chipotle and Salsa Classica on the shelf.  Little did I know that soon, the other sauces would push the chipotle sauce from the shelf.  Oh the HORROR.

So as my home supply continues to diminish, I've started a desperate search of the markets and bodegas of the surrounding area.  I haven't found anything but the other two Bufalo® brand sauces.  I'm down to my last bottle and I'm seriously thinking about buying from the intertubes (the problem there is that the cost per bottle quadruples to $4 and there's a shipping cost.  ugh.)

There is an interesting development, though:  I was at the checkout of the supermarket that used to have the sauce just the other day, and the Store Manager herself was at the register.  I told her my plight and she said I was the second guy to ask about that specific sauce and she said she was working on it!  She said to try back in a few days or a week or two!  Fuck that:  I'm checking every goddamn day.

Tonight - Zeitgeist
 Grab some patio while the weather is still warm!


bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!

Choosy moms.

10.2.2kXI

I pawed through my brother's books and man, does he have a lot of cook books.  Cool!  I love cook books.  He has enough to fill a B. Dalton Borders Barnes & Noble store's cook book section, I swear.

One of the titles got me thinking.  It was called "Make the Bread, Buy the Butter."  I scanned it and the gist was pretty simple:  It was a guide of what you should and shouldn't make from scratch.  Make sandwich bread, buy baguettes.  Okay, fine.

I was knee-deep in my current project, a home made 5000 volt electronic bug zapper, when I thought of her book.  I'd already slightly electrocuted myself a few times and I was shaking-off the latest jolt when I thought, "hey, maybe I'll use her method on THIS project."  I was kinda tired of shocking myself and the neighbors were complaining about the brownouts. 

Problem is, I can't find a commercial zapper with enough voltage.  Maybe I mod an off-the-shelf model?  hmmmm.


Tonight -  Thieves Tavern. 
(Haven't been there since it was "Hush Hush", so the time is right)


bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!

Duet don't.

10.1.2kXII

What is that "engineer over yr shoulder" phenomenon called?  You know the one:  Yr gear is fuckin' BROKEN and you've tried everything at yr disposal to fix it to no avail.  Yr last resort is to call an engineer, technician, mr. fix-it, handyman, expert, etc. and have him or her fuckin' fix it.
And yr gear performs like it's just out of the box.

We gots a dryer that stops mid-cycle.  Boop!  Stop.  Wet clothes.  And this is purported to be one smart appliance!  So we tried what we could and nothin' worked.

So we got the technician to come out for a couple hundred bucks.  He put the thing through its paces and it performed like a circus animal.  He said it's in perfect working condition, took a check and left.

Today?  Motherfucker is turning itself off again.

Tonight - Mini Bar.


bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!