They ain't all winners.

9.2.2013

Okay, so thrills in my life so richly detailed here in VAs from long-ago weeks are few these days.  At least ones that don't concern my Ez, my little wife, Jeep, cat, Cubs, Bears or Blackhawks.  So when an opportunity to MANUFACTURE a thrill pops up, I take a chance.  For better or worse or, as in this case, for nothing but a VA.

Among the reams of paperwork coming home from school in Ez's folder, Friday's lot had a flyer with a picture of a big mobile shredding truck and the words:  "Free Shredding!  Bring your documents to school Saturday and we'll shred them in this big ass truck!  Free tacos, too!  And fucking raffles for gourmet cupcakes, that new quinoa burger place and the "no lard" bakery.  Brought to you by the Crazy Gals Realtor Co."  As I had a box of shredables, and because I like tacos, I figured I'd go.  My little wife said, "buy some cupcakes."  I said they were raffling-off giftcards for the cupcake place.  "Buy some raffle tickets for the cupcakes."  Okay.

I chatted with the shred-truck operator and he was cool.  He said he could shred a desk with his truck and I asked if he ever tried.  No, he said, but he said he shredded some batteries before and they found the fire they made before it burned his truck down.

I excused myself from the truck and went to buy my raffle tickets.  I endured the realtor's sales pitches and signed up for a weekly email or something, give me my tacos.  I got my tacos and they were yummy!

So a couple days later the phone rings.  Predictably, it was the Crazy Gals.

"Hi.  Are you the man who brought his two gorgeous blonde girls to the shred event Saturday?"

"Um, no," I said, "and frankly, if I had a different life and two gorgeous blonde girls, I'd be going somewhere other than to a shred-fest with them."

"..."

"Oh!  Did you say young girls- like KIDS young?  No.  That wasn't me."

"Ah, okay.  Well you didn't with the raffle."

"Okay," I said, "the tacos were great and the shred truck was cool.  Thanks for bringing it along."

I'm pretty sure she wanted to hang up on me.  "You're welcome," she said, "would you like our newsletter?"

I told her I signed up for it at the shred-fest.  "If I'm going to buy a house, I'm gonna use you guys.  The Hell with those other realtors, right?"

"Um, okay.  Thanks."

"You bet, bye-bye."

Tonight - Zeitgeist


bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!