I'm also a client

2.4.2013

I vaguely remember the gasoline crisis of the late 1970s.  I do remember the threat of bad people siphoning gas from people's tanks.
"What in Hell is siphoning?" I remember asking my mother.  She told me that a bunch of assholes around town would unscrew a gas cap, stick a rubber tube down into the tank, suck on the tube until gas came out.  She said it was actually a rather neat way of getting gravity to act as a pump for you, but in this case it was stealing.  Some fuckers were stealing gasoline.

So I have a postage stamp-sized back yard.  And a while back, when I refused to waste water on it - we're in a rather nasty drought here in LA - the bermuda grass all but died.  But it went away in patches.  Dead and dying grass - dirt - dead grass - dirt.  It was a mess.

So when it became so bad that it was almost all dead and dirt, I took a page outta the 1970s and got me a siphon tube.  Here's why:  I figured that, drought or no drought, Ez had to bathe.  He got dirty and stinky every day and we had to get him clean.  His preferred method, like many a wee robot, was in the bathtub.  I had a tub of water left over after his bath and since his soap/shampoo was super SUPER fucking mild, I decided to get a second use out of the bath water.  I started siphoning it out and draining it into the back yard.

After a while, the god damned yard came back to life.  "No duh," said my little wife.  "If you water grass it grows."  Point.  I started feeling pretty good about it but noticed that, as it went away in patches, it came back in patches.  I had to do something.

And I did.  I invented "The Hair Club for Lawns."  Since this is creeping bermuda grass it doesn't come from seeds.  I couldn't seed the yard and expect results.  I could only resod or ... PLUG.  I had plenty of good creeps that I could dig up and relocate to bald spots.  After a while they took hold and plugged the holes.  The Hair Club for Lawns gave results!

There's a rain storm expected tonight.  It won't end the drought, but it will help.  And as Ez himself noted, "This rain is great for the Hair Club for Lawns."

Tonight - The Homestead.
 
"A neighborhood bar with paintings of breasts on the walls.”
Um... it's a whole lot more than that, pal.

bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!