I went through a rough spell in the first half of the year 2000 and my brother, Linkey Loo Robot, Camel® Lights and Miller High Life® helped me begin to shake it. Then the Sydney Olympic summer games came along and my rough spell was over. Damn but I love the Olympics.
My brother and I sat there, drank beer and watched discus, javelin and women's beach volleyball. We were downright outraged when the Czech Republic got eliminated in the first round. Seriously, they were fun to watch.
Later events included crewing and other boat-related sports. We thoroughly enjoyed the constant reference to the "coxswain," and it made us laugh each time it was said on air. When we started saying it "off air," meaning insulting one another by calling each other "coxswain," we also laughed each time. (Don't be such a fucking coxswain, bring me a fresh beer when you get one.")
Over the course of the next several years, the insult "coxswain," morphed into "dickson." It was a perfectly natural evolution. Then later, "dickson" became "Dixon Landing Road." ("I'm sorry I acted like such a Dixon Landing Road last night.")
Which brings us to the ultimate evolutionary state of the insult my brother and I made up in 2000: "Auto Mall Parkway."
See, on Interstate 880 in Fremont, California, there are a couple exits near one another. One is "Dixon Landing Road," and the other, of course, is "Auto Mall Parkway."
So if I tell you to stop acting like an "Auto Mall Parkway," that means to stop acting like a person who steers boats.
Tonight - Homestead.
bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!
1 comment:
That story is recockulous.
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