Two Hit Shutout

2.2.2015

Don't know if I've ever mentioned my 1994 CroMoly steel Gary Fisher Aquila mountain bike before.
I got it out of mothballs when we uncrated our mini-TNSC Robot in 2008 and I got a bike seat for it.  I have Continental "Town & Country" semi-slicks on it and man, is that old girl fast and smooth.  I wouldn't think of parting with it and glad for that, because my new gig is allowing me to ride it to work again, as I did for years in Chicago, SF and for some time here in LA.  (I mentioned an anecdote about it last week, yo.)

Since I have an advanced memory storage and retrieval system, I remember something someone said about my bike shortly after I got it, 22 years ago (if you're doing the math).

"Nice bike.  Why does it have reflectors?  It's a mountain bike, isn't it?"

I had no answer at that time, and I regret being tongue-tied to this day.  I've had all those years to craft the perfect response and I was reminded of it when I climbed aboard for today's commute.

"I don't live on a mountain, fuck head."

I'm glad I have reflectors on it.  I wish I had more.  I have blinkys, reflectors, head lights, luminous tape and frikkin' LASERS now.  Biking in LA (or Chi, or SF) at night is perilous.  You try to be seen by drivers, skaters, peds and everyone else so you don't.  Wreck.  Don't wreck.

--

Every time I remember turfing a come-back to that stupid comment I remember the other time I didn't have one in the chamber for another asshole's remark.

It was several years ago now when I pulled up in my 2002 "Cactus Green" Jeep Liberty Renegade to pick the asshole and his slut wife up for a ride to a Cubs game here in LA.  He said, "Dude, isn't that a chick's car?"  I wasn't expecting it so I flubbed out:  "Do you want a ride or not?"

I've had time to rewrite my response.

"Your mom likes the back seat, asshole."

Tonight - The Hyde Out   (by request) 


bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!