Pitch a Tent

6.2.2017 (first posted this week, 2004)

I hope all y'all enjoy camping and by that I mean "car camping" because it ain't really camping w/o scads of icy-cold Coors Lights. I hope you enjoy camping cuz it's fun to sit and stare at a real live fire that YOU built all the while drinking icy-cold Coors Lights and thinking mebbe it's time to pull the trigger on them sausages you got stashed in the non-beer cooler. It's fun to hit logs w/ hatchets. It's fun to pitch a tent in the out-of-doors ... if you catch my meaning.

Got a couple expectations when camping: Yr gonna get rather filthy. Yr gonna smell pine forest and clean air. Yr gonna get dirt and sticks and leaves and such in the tent no matter how hard you try not to. Yr gonna hear the calls of the wild creatures who LIVE in the forest. Yr gonna stay up late and yr gonna eat eggs in the morning. Yr gonna pee on a tree.

Another expectation when yr camping: Yr not gonna be woken in the middle of the night by an air-raid siren. Call me crazy but I never thought the campground in the Sierra Nat'l Forest near Huntington Lake at around 9000 feet elevation was a strategic target for whatever airborne enemies we got but clearly someone up around there does and remains vigilant 24/7 cuz they must have spotted some tell-tale sign of impending aerial assault on their radar and signaled the sound-asleep Memorial Day campers with the unmistakable klaxon that the bombers approached! I was eagerly awaiting the KRUMP! KRUMP! of the triple-A as our host fought off the hordes and dreading the bombs through the pines and dogwoods. And us without our helmets!

Not a fuckin' thing ever came of the air-raid siren. No ack-ack guns, no secondary explosions and no searchlights sweeping the heavens. Mebbe it was a drill or something. Mebbe the bombers turned back. Who the fuckey fuck knows?

Tonight - Spec's 12 Adler Museum Café
**CASH ONLY**
(Happy BDay, Ted!)


bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!