Nosotros tenemos mas queso que tu tiene. (REDUX)

11.2.2017 (first posted this day 2000)

I'm totally bummed and not a little bit pissed off. Some jackass threw out my lunch. I'm trying to save some dough by bringing a lunch rather than going out every day and here we have some (expletive) going and throwing it out. Sure I can see the need to clean up - more so because this joint is filled to overflow with (expletive) slobs. (I think one of our technical staffers is actually a chunk of moldy cheese from the fridge that acquired sentience, mobility, language and LAN management skills and got his ass a good haircut and a job. I'm considering blowing the whistle on that gouda-boy and if I found out he's the one chucked my lunch I will.)

Dang. It was a good lunch, too. The sandwich was my fav: A BLORT sandwich. That's right, a Bacon, Lettuce, Onion, Ranch and Tomato sandy. You add the ranch early so the bread sogs up good. What else? Oh yeah, pickle. Oh (expletive)! My pickle! I wanted that (expletive) pickle! Ack! Yeah, I also got screwed out of Chili-Cheese Fritos. Best salty treat ... ever. Hunk of homemade punkin' pie. I'm not takin' hostages over that one because I gave this girl I know some of the pie in my super antique (mfg. 1954!) Tupperware pie tupper-thingy. I'm glad it's out on loan and not at the bottom of the (expletive) dust bin. It was my mom's. Crap. Tum-tum's a'growlin' and my former lunch is eight feet under. Or six. Six feet. Right. Six feet under. I have a problem with them things sometimes. Six feet under; Davey Smith's Locker, or Jones or whatever; "Give you an inch, You take a yard"; and the shave-your-dog's-ass-'cause-you're-so-dang-ugly joke. I screw those up all the time. I'm hungry now and it ain't even luncheon. Pitched lunch. Unlucky me. Let's drink here tonight fer chrissakes:


Broken Record  (by request - a little detour to the Excelsior)
**CASH ONLY**

How about that goddamn election? "Gigantic step backward!" And I hear we ain't gonna get squished now: "INTERNET LINK" Might have been better? Nobody new to list. Nobody booted.

TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Voter-fraud contest (Bonus points if you're from Florida.)

TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: Sorry. The TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT Generator is offline. We hoped to have it back up by now, but no. Let's see ... go ahead and reenact last week's meeting. Kinda lame, sure, but without the TDRGen I'm at a loss. Next week for sure. (No Refunds. Don't even ask.)

TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: Teensy. The TNSC Attendance Probability Engine (still online) calculated a very low chance of Teensy showing up tonight. That data fed into the TNSC-TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER Calculator (also still online) coughed up Teensy's name. Tag, Teensy, you're it.

I've seen three squished rats on the street lately. Just tail, claws and grease stain. Anybody out there slowing down for them poor, little, ugly suckers?

Repeat this throughout the day: I will go to the TNSC meeting tonight. I will bring my pals. I will see you there. bye-ee!