Backwards K (REDUX)

8.5.2019  (first posted this week 2001)

Founding member and Linkey-Loo coordinator Alan J. Chimenti suggested that I call and ask some of the venues that the TNSC descends upon for a little something back, what with the hundreds of drinks we pour down our throats and the generous tips we often throw down onto the bar. I thought about it for a good hour or two. Came up with a few reasons for, a few against. The pros were more compelling than the cons so I had at the phonebook, jotted down some numbers and let ‘er rip. Results:

Li Po: (Last visited 28 June 2001)
Some fella answered didn’t know anything about no TNSC. I told him we had a lame ass turnout when we went there but we might do better we had us some scratch. He said he might budge if he knew I wasn’t jerking his chain … that I was a real customer. I tried to prove we were there by describing in oozing detail the fucking gross whore who ate our pizza and spiked her ginger-ale-no-ice with whatever was in her hip flask. I don’t think that was what he wanted to hear because he screamed something about Buddha Bar and slammed down the phone. Strike one.

Lucky 13: (Last visited 21 June 2001)
I asked the lady who answered the phone if she was covered with tattoos of birds. She said shit yeah and I said I was in a few Thursdays back with the drinkin’ club. I was the one who killed the PBR stash. She said: “Oh yeh,” and I asked her if the truck brought more yet. She said: “Everyday,” then she asked if we were comin’ back in and I said: “Yeh, well, mebbe you ought to do a buy one PBR, get one PBR free thing. That kinda deal would make a visit hard to resist.” She thought about it for a minute then said, “Well I can’t do buy one PBR, get one PBR free but I could do a buy one poppy jaspar get two free; or buy one Boddington’s, get six pints free; or how ‘bout buy one Sierra Nevada, get a case free.” I screamed like a girl and threw the phone out the window. Strike two.

POW! (Last visited 03 May 2001)
After retrieving the phone, I dialed up one of the TNSC’s fave bars. Someone answered, I guess, but I couldn’t hear a goddamn thing, because of the earsplitting volume of the DJ. I couldn’t even tell if anyone said anything like, “hello.” Hung up. Foul tip. Still 0-2.

Sadie’s Flying Elephant: (Last visited 25 January 2001)
Down in the count, I ring up the pachyderm. The lady answers and says yeh she remembers us. This is after I identify myself and claim to be in the group that laughed like hell when Barry Bonds struck out looking to end the playoff game last October (see 10.1.2k). “You damn-near got yer heads taken off by some fellas didn’t like you laughing at Bonds,” she said. I said: “What were they expecting? Bonds to come through in October? Please … the guy’s a cock.” She agreed then asked what the fuck I wanted. I want free beer and not Grolsch or Bitburger or Sierra or any shit like that. She said what the fuck’s the matter with those other beers. I told her that they were really really gross and if you drank fifteen you’d be as big as a house and have a wicked skull ache. She agreed then said no fucking way. “Free popcorn,” she said, “and a bunch of crap to put on it.” Fair enough. I figure that counts for an infield single.

That said, tonight's destinatio is:  The Homestead.
It's Heather Lake's Birthday!!  C'mon out and toast her in person!

News: You lovely list members have exactly one week from today to come up with TNSC code names. If you don’t submit one, you will be assigned one. The Founding Members have decreed that at meetings and in Official TNSC communications we will refer to each other using official code names. Submit via email here: Code Name
No other news.

Comments: tnsc@therein-lies.com

TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Find the reference!

Last Week’s Contest results: Founding Member and Linkey Loo coordinator Alan J. Chimenti almost disqualified himself from winning the contest because he refused to go through proper channels of submitting his answer. He first tried telling me. No. Then he emailed to an alternate address. No again. Only then did he click on the link to officially submit his answer, which was correct. The VA’s title, “Duke of Chicago” was a film in which DeForest Kelley, mentioned in the VA, starred. That was the reference. Congrats. He enjoyed a lovely prize.

Dramatic reenactment: Filling in for Tonight’s Dramatic reenactment is Tonight’s Satanic Word: Official

TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: (nameless) Miller. She used to live next door to Sadie’s. And she’s cute.

PORN TITLE OF THE WEEK: Can't You Just Fuck Me and Go Home? (Porn Title of the Week coordinator Tama’s new fave title. And why not?)

No excuses. You must pop in for a pop at The Homestead. We’re going for a new record. Parking abounds, so designate a driver and get over. Bring your friends. I know I will. See you there! See my sister there!

bye-ee!

whrr ... clik!

-untitled TNSC transmission- (REDUX)

8.4.2019  (first posted this week 2000)


Attention lovely list members: This week's preamble has been designated "epilogue." See below. Now for the news. Tonight's destination is the choice of long-time list member Sue "Birthday Grrrl" Erokan. In her own words:

> > All right, here it is...Benders Bar & Grill. 
(by request / **CASH ONLY**)

It is located on 19th between South Van Ness
> > and Capp Street. Yay!

So be it. Now for the business. Dora's name was butchered last week. Dora, not "Doval." Francesca is the mystery name of fhaliburton@xxx. I think I spelled something wrong somewhere else too. Nice turnout at Butter. Nice turnout at The El Bobo. You represented your social club well.

TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Horseshoes and Hand Grenades.

TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: The Origin of Greek Rembetika Music. In the early 1920's the Greek Army was in retreat from Turkish forces led by Kemal Attaturk (Formerly known as Mustafa Kemal (remember the nursery rhyme?). Greece had invaded Turkey (at the instigation of England, France, Italy and Russia) to claim the coast of Asia Minor where millions of ethnic Greeks had lived for generation upon generation. When the support countries pulled out, the Turks turned the tables. The Greeks retreated home and brought back with them the surviving Greek population of Asia Minor. These people had once been prominent citizens but were now reduced to refugees. This is the origin of Rembetika. The lyrics reflected their surroundings, poverty, pain, drug addiction, police oppression, prison, unrequited love, betrayal and hashish. It was the Greek urban blues. The players: A one-woman show! Sue Erokan plays the Greek Army, Kemal Attaturk, the Turkish Army, England, France, Italy and Russia, Asia Minor, Asia Minor's Ethnic Greeks, poverty, pain, drug addiction, police oppression, prison, unrequited love, betrayal, hashish and, most importantly, Rembetika!

TONIGHT'S SINGLED OUT LIST MEMBER(S): Tellegen(s) Karen and Mark. They had a wee baby girl. Congrats from TNSC!

Team Bjeldanes results from 20aug00: Tie. Undefeated we march (stagger?) into the playoffs. See you 10sep00.

See you tonight! Bring yer pals - I'm going to! 

bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!

Hijacked!!! (REDUX)

8.3.2019  (first posted this week 2005)

Being a freelancer, I tend to have a lot of "vacation" time between jobs. Technically, it isn't REALLY vacation, as I'm actually getting paid for doing nuthin' (but still learning new software, updating my demo reel, networking for future gigs, and stuff like that). But sometimes, a REAL vacation comes along. One that involves travel to far away places, like Costa Rica or Greece. The kind of vacation that takes planning. Vaccinations, passports, stopping the newspaper, making sure someone is lined up to feed the cats.

But I got the last one covered as I usually have the same person feed my cats for me while we're gone. He has a key so all I have to do is call him and relay the dates I'll be gone. I was thinking, it would be a really terrible thing if I didn't tell him. Fats and Po'kchop would be livid...not to mentioned starved. I'm sure my friend, being the good friend that he is, would just normally check in if he had an inkling that I was going away, but forgot to tell him. He basically knows the routine, and, as I mentioned, has a key to my place. That also got me thinking that if that were to happen, I hope that he would never be pissed and ransack my house, or throw Mazzola Twister™ parties, or generally go through my stuff while I was gone. Then I thought, "He's a really great friend, he would NEVER do that."

I just wanted to add Happy 15th Weddin' Anniversary to Mr. and Mrs. Linkey-Loo Robot. Now THAT is something to celebrate!! 

Tonight - House of Shields
(special out-of-town list member request!!)

Kiss my grits.

bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!

Souled Out (REDUX)

8.2.2019  (first posted this week 2005)

My brother once said, "You are all Jimi Hendrix assholes."

I don't have the slightest memory whatsoever of what he was talking about or who he was talking too; I can only guess that I was part of the party he addressed as "Jimi Hendrix assholes." I only know he said it because while cleaning my guns this week I found a scrap of a reciept for Kleen-Bore Formula 3 Gun Conditioner that on the opposite side said, "You are all Jimi Hendrix Assholes. -JAJ" Those would be my brother's initials. The handwriting was mine, but I don't remember anything about it.

Tonight - Shanghai Kelly's
(closest thing to Hong Kong that I could muster up for our out-of-town TNSC guest)

Party on, Wayne.

bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!

Zingaro! (REDUX)

8.1.2019  (first posted this week 2001)

With lousy weather, few spectators and deadbeats that mostly stayed put, San Francisco’s “Deadbeat on the Move Day 2001” was a less than spectacular event.
A spontaneous happening, the small number of deadbeats relocating was disappointing to some participants.

A middle-aged deadbeat named Sal was looking forward to new digs.“The place I was at got stale. I been in it every day for weeks. That’s what these ‘Onna Move’ days are all about. Change of venue. Only this time hardly anyone moved.”
No records exist from last year’s Deadbeat on the Move Day, but eyewitnesses to both events recall more deadbeats on the move in the year 2000.

Jessie, a 34 year-old deadbeat, chose not to move.
“My place here on the sidewalk is pretty okey,” he said. “I got here a week or two ago and I’m finding it to be great. Lotsa light, a good breeze, you know.”

Still, a fair amount of deadbeats went on the move: A scruffy man in a SF Giants cap and overalls stalked down Seventh Street, apparently with a purpose; a deadbeat riding a mountain bike with no seat cruised down Folsom Street at a speed that suggested he had a destination; a fellow pulling an impressive number of fully-laden shopping carts down Mission Street’s bike lane seemed to be going somewhere specific.

A man identified as “Phil,” a self-proclaimed sponsor of the event, was not impressed.
“Usually you get a mess of folks on the move. Not just one here, a few there. I don’t get it. Folks just not fired up anymore. Time was, “Deadbeat on the Move Day” was popular. Most my friends would get their butts in gear.”

Phil speculated that the recently completed construction on the highway overpasses had yielded prime real estate, complete with shelter and privacy. Many of the encampments can be seen outfitted with cookstoves, clothes lines, some furniture and electronic devices.

As to the handful of spectators, Phil would only guess.
“Some folks don’t wanna see deadbeats on the move. They turn their noses up. They cross the street and walk on the other side.”
No public official was seen at the event, nor could any be reached for comment.

Tonight - Wooden Nickel (by request)


TONIGHT'S CONTEST: Find the reference!

Last Week’s Contest Results: The VA title was "Bonneteau." This is a frog word for "little hat," which refers to the folded cards in three card monty which look like little hats. They look more like little tents, you ask me. Show a Frenchman a little tent and he'll call it a little hat ... after he surrenders to the nearest German. Winner ... Tama. She will enjoy a lovely prize.

TONIGHT'S DRAMATIC REENACTMENT: hmmm.

TONIGHT'S SINGLED-OUT LIST MEMBER: Anna. Because she never gets mentioned anymore.

PORN TITLE OF THE WEEK: The Politix of Spanking

Some folks will be working late, but the rest of ya get over to the bar! Some folks will be there as soon as they can. Bring your friends. Some folks I know will. See you there! bye-ee!



bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!