Shut My Mouth! (REDUX)

9.4.2019  (first posted this week 2000)

Now believe it or not, and I've been known to lie, but this here's a true story.

Back in the Age of Sail, the days of the tall ships - the Man o'War, the galleon, the schooner - sailors relied on cats to do some of their dirtiest work. Hoards of rats and mice would tightrope-walk the mooring lines along the docks, eager to feast on the stores of grain and other food in the holds of the ships. Cats were very effective exterminators. They would rid the ship of vermin. In port or on the high seas, they followed the predatory role nature designed for them. Following the reverence the Ancient Egyptians had for cats, sailors treated their cats very well and held them in high regard. Seafaring cats played a lesser-known role, too: they would hear the confessions of the condemned man. Many of the ships had neither the room or supplies for a priest, cleric, monk or other such holy man who could not or would not pull his own weight. A religious lot, sailors doomed to walk the plank, hang from the yard-arm or be keel-hauled were desperate for an ear to hear their reconciliation. As it was bad luck for a layman to do such, the next obvious choice were the ship's cats. They could appear to be attentive listeners and trusted to never reveal what they've heard. It was not uncommon for the prisoner, in his last hours, to share the brig with as many as 50 cats.

For this week's meeting I'll be drowning my blues with the black cats at:

The Homestead

There ain't nobody new to the list. No one got booted, as per the new nobody-gets-booted dealio. A lot of complaints about the web-based TNSC meeting announcement. Overheard: "Poor user interface," "unintuitive," "confusing." Okey then. You can have your precious underlined links. More comments being accepted here.

Tonight's Contest: Piping-hot-coffee chug-a-lug. ow.

Tonight's Dramatic Reenactment: The "Death" of Ben "Obi-Wan" Kenobi.

In an attempt to allow a small band of rebels - including a princess, a pirate, a couple of gay robots and a bumpkin - to escape the ominous space station known as the "Death Star," an aged warrior selflessly sacrifices his corporeal body to his nemesis, the sinister "Darth Vader." It turns out, though, that the villain's "light saber" renders "Obi-Wan" more powerful than the evil one knows. Our players: Serena Warner plays "Obi-Wan," Uriah plays "Darth Vader," Lee Lee the Musical Bee plays the pirate, Teensy plays the princess, Rob Bonstin plays one of the gay robots, Jimi Simmons plays the other, April plays the bumpkin and Mrs. Alan Chimenti plays the role of the "Death Star." Clint plays some dude named George.

Tonight's Singled-Out List Member: Me. I single myself out because I've been bad. I have the headache to prove it. Spell check just caught me spelling "prove" with two o's. Yeouch.

Bring yer cats. Bring yer friends' cats. See you there. bye-ee!

bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!