The Twisted Spoke (REDUX)

9.3.2019 (first posted this week 2004)

Next time you need to get fixin's for Bloody Marys you get yr asses to - of all places inna world - Cost Plus. Seems like you might start at BevMo or the corner liquor store or the Safetyway or the Albertsons, Giant Eagle, Basha's, Dominick's, Jewel, Kroger or Piggly Wiggly, but I happened upon the Cost Plus on the way to BevMo for Bloody fixin's and the Bloody's that were the result of the trip to these markets were SO GODDAMN KICKASS they made me want to slap my pappy. Here's why: 

Cost Plus, as you might know, has a world-class selection of junky, stinky wicker furniture from some exotic (Mexico) locale. They also got horsehair pillows, teak coffee tables, fans made from shellacked palm fronds and crazy European cookware. And if you were ever a kid, you might remember that they have a shitload of foreign chocolates. Well dip me in shit because they have all sortsa other foreign foodstuffs like mustard and wine. And for the Bloody Mary drinker there's a million jars of pickled this and preserved that! Beans, onions, wee-baby pickles. Garlic, hot pepper and bleu cheese stuffed olives. I tell ya ... take a skewer, impale one them garlic olives, a cocktail onion, a pepperoncini, a mini pickle and some kinda marinated cherry tomato, drop the whole thing in a Bloody, drop in a pickled string bean, season w/ Tabasco and celery salt, drink up and eat up all the goodies ... you are sooooo dancing and there's no denying you have scored without getting nekkid. 

Bonus treat: Fold up a slice or two of salami and add to skewer. Nothin' like meat in a cocktail! 

Tonight - Persian Aub Zam Zam
(I guess it's just "Zam Zam" now)

There's a bar in Chicago that serves a Bloody so full of junk they've given it a different name: Road-rash Mary. It comes w/ a 4oz beer back. Old Style, of course. 


bye-ee!
whrr ... clik!